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Clips from Eastbound & Down - Chapter 2 (S01E01)

"It's Kenny Powers. Come on, everyone."
Eastbound & Down
"If I didn't know any better, I'd think Kenny Powers is afraid to throw a baseball."
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"Dude, it's time to roll! Come on!"
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"Where were you? Told you to wait in the car."
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"I was hanging with those dudes in the parking lot."
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"Do you still have that ecstasy?"
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"- That's different. - I see how it is."
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"- Okay, come on, come on. - I see how it is."
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"- Hi, how are you? - What are you doing here?"
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"Are you okay? Because you're sweating a lot."
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"This is about me loving you for real."
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"I'd give you a ride gladly, Kenny Powers."
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"...no one will give you the time of fucking day."
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"And this dick..."
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"I don't know about the dick, though."
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"Stevie. It's Stevie Janowski."
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"I hate swimming."
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"What the hell are you doing?"
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"How does somebody manage to get ambushed on a Jet Ski?"
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"- Sixty-eight. - What did I tell you, man?"
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"Because at the last moment, I decided not to."
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"...and showed them the best time they've ever seen."
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"- No, that's not... - That's what we do here."
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"Then he says he wants to do a personal appearance."
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"Now, part of becoming a professional athlete..."
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"Okay. Watch, class."
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"Okay, yeah, help me. Help me out. Okay."
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"When is this dance?"
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"- I'm hosting this celebrity event tonight. - Really?"
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"You have crossed the line. Give me the toilet paper now."
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"He doesn't do this all the time."
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"Kenny!"
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"It's not a microphone."
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"...wouldn't wanna see the Kenny Powers..."
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"It would be inappropriate. What is this?"
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"- Clegg. - Everybody's gone, Kenny."
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"My driver."
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"Your face did cash a lot of checks."
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"...for the majors."
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"All right, boys."
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"We've done a lot of work lately. Complete renovations."
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"Holy shit!"
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"Get it off of me!"
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"- What's wrong with your truck? - Nothing."
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"We're just having fun. Come on."
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"Who wouldn't wanna see you burn a hole through one, right?"
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"- Kenny! - Come on!"
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"April, I gotta come clean, babe."
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"This is me being honest with you."
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"- Fuck you, man. - Yeah, okay."
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"Kenny!"
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"You know me. Who am I making this shit out to?"
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"Don't read the readout. That's my own private information."
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"I love women. I'll take that as a compliment."
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"We do around here. We also do this."
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"It's goddamn amazing!"
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"Good morning, Kenny."
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"All right, back up, back up. Get away."
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"- Yeah. I'm not... - So far, I don't believe it."
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"Clegg!"
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"...is being strong and fit."
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"Man, this feels good, Clegg."
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"That was pretty good."
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"And the crowd goes crazy."
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"I smelled that motherfucker. You need more."
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"- Please, go left. - All right, I got it, I got it."
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"No offense, but I kind of think the all-black..."
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"Yeah!"
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"This face used to cash fucking checks."
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"It's a pretty good party."
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"See? Look, I told you I know him."
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"...even though your career's hit a real sour patch lately..."
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"Let's get back into baseball, okay?"
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"...but I don't think it would be fair to the other people..."
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"Give me that, motherfucker."
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"Oh, hell, Kenny, come on."
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"Right where I belong."
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"This is about real emotions."
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"Kenny!"
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"It was from a little disgusting birdbath in someone's backyard..."
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"We're the same. I hate that thing too."
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"...that rats made sex to birds in it and created a whole new type of AIDS."
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"I cancelled it. I'm not an ape."
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"I wanna see Ashley Schaeffer BMW on your tit."
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"That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen before."
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"Fuck you, asshole!"
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"...just by how you fucking look."
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"Kenny Powers. What the fuck is up with you, man?"
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"In a real way. All right."
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"You look like you could use a ride."
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"And not in a "just to make me come" kind of way."
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"- Oh, Kenny.! - No, listen."
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"- Just give me a hand with this. - Screw you. [ R ]"
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"Fine. [ R ]"
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"You don't know what shit I got either."
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"- I will. - You should."
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"- Yeah. - Beautiful women."
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"- It's so good to have you in here. - I'm gonna cut to the chase."
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"I'm talking about a real celebrity, not some sign-spinning fucking monkey."
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"...live, uncut, in person."
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"First off, Kenny Powers walks into my showroom."
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"...because that is where this bad boy's going."
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"Do as I say do. Master and commander."
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"Hey, guys, bring the fucking ape in here."
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"Yeah, they help people who are slightly hesitant to buy cars."
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"I was paid a handsome amount of money."
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"...making shitloads of money, having expensive, luxurious things."
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"Yeah, I got a lot of star power."
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"I don't know anything about a chaperon list. What is that?"
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"...Ashley over there will suck your dick."
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"If you happen to be a woman..."
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"- It's tonight. - Tonight?"
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"Fuck that noise. I can't do anything tonight."
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"Did you take one of those black beauties?"
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"...to make a little celebrity appearance tonight."
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"Drivers don't drive you there and then drive off."
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"- I might even need you to wear a uniform. - Forget it, Kenny."
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"Okay."
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"You can get hurt if you're not strong enough, okay?"
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"Who the fuck is Phillip?"
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