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Clips from How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Romance (S05E05)

"OLDER TED: It wasn't."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And I would walk 500 more..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Pea, that reminds me. I have to pee."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(BOTH LAUGHING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, straight, straight, straight."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Now, wait, a little to the left."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We'll pass a state trooper!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Punch buggy yellow! - (EX CLAIMS IN PAIN)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yellow, that reminds me. I have to pee."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Great."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Hey, Ted... - You can't have to go again."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's not humanly possible."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That's a great idea. I think I have some Jerky Boys."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's an audio book about a boy and his dog."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It made Elisabeth Hasselbeck cry."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"WOMAN ON STEREO: Goodbye Sparky, by Nick Leotti."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Read to you by Kenny Rogers."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"ROGERS: Chapter One. When I first saw Sparky,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"He was missing a lot of teeth, but I loved him anyway."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Mother was fit to be tied"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"every time he used her prized rhododendron to do his business."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(LAUGHS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
""How many stars are on the flag?""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Fifty. One for each state."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
""What are the first 10 amendments to the Constitution called?""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The Bill of Rights. Look, Barney, I know all this. I'm ready."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ready for the test maybe, but ready to be an American?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Not on your sweet life."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"For you to be an American, we got to get the Canadian out of you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That's why I've created these questions. Question one. Who is this?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Queen Elizabeth II. - No, the answer is Elton John."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Question two. What the hell is this?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Oh, Curling. It's a sport played... - Wrong."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The answer we were looking for was, "I don't care, it's dumb."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
""Let's go buy something that's bad for us and then sue the people who made it.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That's American, Robin."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and it didn't much matter what kind."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Tennis ball, baseball, wiffle ball, golf ball, basketball, beach ball,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"gum ball, a grapefruit, which isn't actually a ball,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but it's round like a ball,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"a football, which isn't round, but it's still technically a ball,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"WOMAN: This ends disc seven. The audio book continues on disc eight."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Disc eight."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"ROGERS: Lacrosse ball, volleyball..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, my God, Lily, please tell me you have to go pee!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(CHUCKLES) Yeah, I do."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: It was the worst trip ever, but then it got worse."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, don't worry, the next exit's the hotel. We can go there."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hotel?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Crumpet Manor is listed in the American registry of historic bed and breakfasts."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Our doors opened on Christmas day, 1881."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And we have catered to couples ever since."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, I mean, single people can have fun here, too, right?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, I suppose I could arrange a little recreation."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Do you enjoy sitting on a bench?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: And by the end of the night,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Barney had turned Robin into a real American."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I want to say... Jefferson?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Correct. - (EX CLAIMS HAPPILY)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Archie Bunker's neighbor was George Jefferson."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(EX CLAIMS) I am nailing this."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- God, I'm buzzing on America right now! - All right, hold your horses."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Now to prove that you are as American as apple pie,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and the childhood obesity it leads to, who is this?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That, Barney,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"is the American actor, beloved by millions,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"the "Hey, Vern" guy from the popular series of Ernest films."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And his name, Jeff Foxworthy. Thank you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Jeff... No, it's Jim Varney."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You're kidding me. You don't know that?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That's Jeff Foxworthy, dumbass. End of story. Now, shut your stupid face."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Not only are you wrong,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but you are belligerently sticking to your guns,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and insulting me in the process."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Robin Scherbatsky,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"you are an American."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Look who's back from the wishing well."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It didn't work, I'm still here."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Marshall, what are we doing? We should be on the road."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Look, Ted, we're not in college anymore, okay?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We don't have to drive all night."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, and besides, they have a spa."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What kind of treatments do you offer?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"All of our spa treatments are designed for couples."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Would you be interested in the two-person, cornmeal body scrub?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: And then finally it happened."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Marshall and Lily globbed into one big married glob."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We'd love a cornmeal body scrub!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Whoa!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I got to dial back on the Tantrum."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"ROBIN: Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be an American, y'all."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Maybe I'll rob a liquor store. Maybe I won't. My choice."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The Hoser Hut."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I can duck in for a drink."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, no, that life's behind me. Forget it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, I could go in for just one beer. What's the harm in that?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's a free country."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(ALL SINGING) O Canada"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Our home and native land"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(CRYING) Oh, God, I miss it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"True patriot love..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(KNOCKING ON DOOR)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Hey, man. Sorry about what I said before. - (SHUSHING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You want to go to the store and get some beer?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SOFT CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Lily is asleep."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I suppose I could reschedule my pedicure."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What the hell? But only light beer"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"because we have a couples' hike in the morning."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Dude, why are we pulling onto the highway?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted, where exactly are we going to get this beer?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Chicago."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What are you doing? We can't just leave Lily."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"When she wakes up, she's going to freak!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She'll have a back rub and a crumpet. She'll be fine. Relax. Have some fun."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I just abandoned my wife. How am I supposed to have fun?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(BOTH SINGING ALONG) And I would walk 500 miles"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And I would walk 500 more..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, you really think Lily's pissed?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
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