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Clips from American Dad! - A Jones for a Smith (S05E05)

"# Good morning, U.S.A. # [Grunts]"
American Dad!
"Aw, damn it!"
American Dad!
"This country's gone to hell since the Democrats took over."
American Dad!
"so you can get the Milk Duds you need."
American Dad!
"- [Blows Nose] - Hey, Dad. Before you leave..."
American Dad!
"It's the most important gay meal of the day."
American Dad!
"Next we pull back the muscle flaps."
American Dad!
"Oh, come on. He's a friendly guy."
American Dad!
"# Hello, my baby Hello, my honey #"
American Dad!
"# Hop it like it's hot, hop it like it's hot #"
American Dad!
"So have you traded bras with your cell mate yet?"
American Dad!
"[Sneezes] Now I've got to go home..."
American Dad!
"## [Scatting]"
American Dad!
"and I bet she's a better person for the experience."
American Dad!
"I'm a member of the Aryan Lassies now."
American Dad!
"I might have something that'll make you feel better."
American Dad!
"[Inhales]"
American Dad!
"Hey. As long as you're giving out crack..."
American Dad!
"Not now, Mom. I'm working."
American Dad!
"What else would girls be doing at camp?"
American Dad!
"I set it up while you were at lunch."
American Dad!
"- You rascal. You said you had paperwork to go over. - I know."
American Dad!
"Yes! Hot dog!"
American Dad!
"- Huh? - He likes you. Picture?"
American Dad!
"[Whirs]"
American Dad!
"Yeah!"
American Dad!
"[Grunting]"
American Dad!
"She was my pet."
American Dad!
"Lovely day, is it not?"
American Dad!
"You gonna share that crack you're doing, or what?"
American Dad!
"[Laughs] Never again."
American Dad!
"Maybe it's time to try crack."
American Dad!
"heart palpitations, homicidal paranoia..."
American Dad!
"five-to-seven years in prison where brutal raping may occur."
American Dad!
"Crack. Isn't it time you see what all the fuss is about?"
American Dad!
"- [Helicopter Overhead] - [Gunfire Outside]"
American Dad!
"Ugh! Why does Oprah like this one?"
American Dad!
"Val Kilmer bad-mouthed Oprah..."
American Dad!
"My necklace is missing."
American Dad!
"- The TV is gone. - No, it's not. It's right there."
American Dad!
"Ooh. Whoa. Diarrhea."
American Dad!
"Oh, good. Dad's home. Now, don't forget..."
American Dad!
"- Land the ho, matey. - No, Roger."
American Dad!
"We like to finish the tour with our family's most cherished possession..."
American Dad!
"I'll let you hop on my 28-footer."
American Dad!
"- Ooh! - [All Laughing]"
American Dad!
"Um, could you excuse me for a second?"
American Dad!
"What am I supposed to do with that?"
American Dad!
"[Growls]"
American Dad!
"Yeah, Dad. What is wrong with you?"
American Dad!
"- Isn't it obvious? Guy can't handle his crack. - [All Gasp]"
American Dad!
"No, no. I will be as soon as this pervert pays me."
American Dad!
"Honey, point them to the door."
American Dad!
"- We're here because we love you. - I'll go first."
American Dad!
"Dad, you have a problem, and you need help."
American Dad!
"I got myself into this. I'll get myself out."
American Dad!
"[Sighs] While we're all here, I think I'm addicted to pot."
American Dad!
"[Clicking]"
American Dad!
"[Glass Breaks]"
American Dad!
"[Clattering Continues]"
American Dad!
"I-I need to pawn it for cash."
American Dad!
"- You can't. It's priceless. - You can't. It's worthless."
American Dad!
"Don't worry, ma'am. I'm the best there is."
American Dad!
"[Stan] Hello? Are you still there?"
American Dad!
"That- That sounds good."
American Dad!
"Send in the boy."
American Dad!
"You don't listen."
American Dad!
"Just a little- Just a little crack."
American Dad!
"- Give me your wallet. - What? No!"
American Dad!
"- Give me your wallet. - Get off me."
American Dad!
"- I'm not giving you my wallet. - This is a mugging."
American Dad!
"[Groans]"
American Dad!
"Shoes are very valuable. Never forget the shoes."
American Dad!
"- and some help. - Stan!"
American Dad!
"I kicked it for good."
American Dad!
"[Sighs]"
American Dad!
"Just stop it, Hayley."
American Dad!
"Bye! Have a great time."
American Dad!
"# Good morning, U.S.A. #"
American Dad!
"# I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day #"
American Dad!
"# And he's shining a salute to the American race #"
American Dad!
"# Oh, boy it's swell to say #"
American Dad!
"[Chorus] # Good morning, U.S.A. ##"
American Dad!
"They just throw money at anyone who asks for help."
American Dad!
"I know. It's wonderful."
American Dad!
"I'm on my way to Welfare to get some free stuff."
American Dad!
"Don't you worry, babies."
American Dad!
"Mama's gonna get some food stamps..."
American Dad!
"Look, Roger's clearly taking advantage..."
American Dad!
"but social programs are important."
American Dad!
"Social programs are a crutch..."
American Dad!
"bailing out people too weak to help themselves."
American Dad!
"[Sneezes] Good point, nose."
American Dad!
"You see, I have a cold, but I'm going to work."
American Dad!
"I'm not crawling around the house..."
American Dad!
"like David Hasselhoff trying to eat a hamburger."
American Dad!
"- can you help me with my homework? - No! Everyone asking for help."
American Dad!
"Don't study things you can't grasp."
American Dad!
"Honey, I'm late for the supermarket."
American Dad!
"- Can you get my zipper? - No!"
American Dad!
"Don't wear clothes you can't manage."
American Dad!
"She's choking. Dad, do something."
American Dad!
"No! Don't eat food you can't handle."
American Dad!
"Don't help her, Francine. Come on, Hayley."
American Dad!
"- You can get yourself out of this. - [Gasping]"
American Dad!
"- [Gasps] - See? She saved her own life."
American Dad!
"Oh! Three-second rule."
American Dad!
"Ugh! Hayley, you know I don't like turkey sausage. Why did you give me this?"
American Dad!
"Oh, thank you, Greg."
American Dad!
"Why don't you come in for a bit? We're having mimosas."
American Dad!
"On a Monday? What's the occasion?"
American Dad!
"We always have brunch."
American Dad!
"It's the only meal of the day for me."
American Dad!
"I'm gay fat."
American Dad!
"I'm straight thin, but I'm gay fat."
American Dad!
"[Chattering]"
American Dad!
"l- I can't do it."
American Dad!
"# Hello, my ragtime gal ##"
American Dad!
"[Laughs]"
American Dad!
"You are so cute."
American Dad!
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