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Clips from South Park - Chickenlover (S02E02)

"Exactly 2 seconds after the retirement of Officer Barbrady"
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"looting and pillaging erupted in the quiet mountain town."
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"- Whoopee! This is killer! - With no cops around, we can do whatever we want!"
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"Oh, nevermind."
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"I don't believe it. All this time Barbrady actually did keep this town peaceful."
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"I want to assure all of you that Officer Barbrady is still are active police enforcer."
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"Reading classes. Plain and simple."
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"By the mayor's order Officer Barbrady is on temporary leave of absense to learn to read."
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"Effective immidiately."
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"Yes that's right. It's back to school with Officer Barbrady!"
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"Now children we have a new student joining us today. Please say hi to Officer Barbrady."
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"Ok now since our focus has been on readin let's review some of the basics."
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"- Yes what is it? - I need to go poopies."
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"Officer Barbrady in school we go to the bathroom before and after class."
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"Oh Christ, how do you kids do it?"
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"Now does anyone have any suggestions where we should begin with Officer Barbrady?"
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"- Did you kids actually learn how to read this way? - No, we just fake it to shut him up."
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"Say, what are nice chickens like you doing in a coop like this?"
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"- What's the matter Eric, you no prepared again? - I'm prepared!"
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"It was, very, very good. Have you read it Mr. Garrison?"
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"- No, I can't say that I have. - Oh good."
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"I the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe a bunch of uh, hippies walk around and paint stuff."
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"- And I give you an F Eric, now sit down. - God damnit!!"
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"Ok Officer Barbrady, why don't you give us your book report."
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"I've just finished reading the heartwarming novel "Go Dog, Go!""
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"I found it a compelling and disturbing look the canine psychie."
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"Well anyway, I don't wanna give away the ending,"
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"but I will say that it spirals toward an incredible twist turn that parallels my own life."
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"Thank you Officer Barbrady, that was a very good book report indeed. I'll give you an A."
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"- Hooray! - Goody-two-shoes!"
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"- Oh nevermind. - Well how's the reading coming along?"
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"- Uh, pretty good. - Barbrady, we really need you to speed this up!"
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"- The chicken fucker struck again last night! - Oh no!"
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"Oh mayor, please, when we're around children we prefer to call him the chicken lover."
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"or else I'm gonna find a law officer to replace you forever!"
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"- Hey what'd you do that for? - Ahh, just dramatic effect, sorry."
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"- It's cool dude, we'll help you. - Hey that's right, you can help me."
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"Under article 39 section 2 of police code,"
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"I'm allowed to deputize citizens in a time of chrisis."
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"- Really? I wann be a cop! - You boys will be my deputies."
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"You can help me restore order, catch the chicken lover"
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"and swing me on the swingset."
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"10-4 sergent!"
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"Now what did that clue say again?"
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"If you want to know where I'll strike next, read bumbly wumbly and the spotted spacecraft."
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"To the booktastic bus deputies! We haven't a moment to spare."
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"Good day friends! Welcome to the magical world of reading."
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"Ah just give us the damn book, fruitcake!"
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"- What's it say? - It says..."
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"- What's this word? - I."
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"Oh yeah, I... mmmaa... mma."
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"Here give me that!"
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"I am bumbly wumbly. I live in the pond."
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"- Yes, officer? - I caught you at 40 miles an hour back there."
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"- Do you know what speed limit it hea?"
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"Well according to that sign right there it's 40 miles and hour."
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"- Step out of the car please, sir. - Wait a second, aren't you Stan's little friend?"
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"Sir, step out of the car, please."
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"Yeah, you're the one that always plugs up the toilet in our house."
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"Ay! I am a cop and you will respect my authoritay."
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"Yeah right. You better get back to school little boy."
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"Hey what the hell are you doing? You can't do that?"
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"- Aww, weak dude. We're too late. - Well, the chickens don't seem to really mind."
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"Well this is terrible. Now who would have sex with a chicken?"
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"I would!"
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"Oh you couldn't screw anything Halfy, you don't have any legs!"
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"Come one dudes, we need to look for another clue."
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"Ta..ta...tad...taxidermist."
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"Well I've been working this beat for about 3 days now."
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"You definitly have to have pretty thick skin or else people just walk all over you."
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"Sometimes you have to go undercover to get the worst of them."
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"- Hi there little lady. - What, what are you doing tonight?"
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"Well hopefully spending some time with you gorgeous. Is $20 enough?"
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"- Sir? Step out of the car, please. - What? Uh-oh, is this a bust?"
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"- Hey wait a minute, you're just a kid. - Maybe this will teach you to listen to authoritay."
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"OW! OOOWW! Hey man what are you doing?"
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"Ow! Stop it!"
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"one day at a time."
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"I got a TV. C'mon!"
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"Teetle, the timid taxidermist,"
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"loves to..."
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"Oh god damn reading is lame!"
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"- How's it going dude? - Terrible! I give up."
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"- It is too! - Just read the sentence."
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"- Come on dumbass! You can do it! - Pet... wait a minute."
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"Conjugate the verb. Conjugate the verb."
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"Yes, conjugate the verb."
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"Boys, we're off!"
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"All units, all units: 5-12 at 635 Avenue De Los Mexicanos 635. Request assistance."
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"- Sir, could you step out of the car please? - We're fine, officer."
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"- And, who's, who's in here with you? - Just me and my wife and my brother."
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"And my wife's cousin, and his son, and my brother's girlfriend and our two kids."
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"Hey Cartman."
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"And my brother's girldfriend's mother, and this guy Bob who I met last year."
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"Poor people tend to live in clusters."
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"- What? What did you say? - Nothing. Now sir is there some kind of..."
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"I want him out of my house! He ain't workin' shit! He can't even hold a fuckin' job!"
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"Shut up bitch!"
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"Ok, ok let's try to watch the language there's children present hea."
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"You lazy ass mother fucker!"
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"Come on mom, beat him up!"
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"Mom hit dad again!"
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"RESPECT MY AUTHORITAY!!"
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"Come on Cartman beat 'em up!"
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"All units, all units! We have a 520 on the suspect."
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"Chicken lover."
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"Keep your eyes peeled boys. Somebody's gonna make love to this chicken any minute."
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"- Maybe we were wrong about the clue. - Yeah, maybe you read it wrong."
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"Oh no!"
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"Keep your eyes peeled."
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"Look!"
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"- He's here! - Grab him!"
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"Uh! Oh my god! They've killed..."
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"- God damn it! - I knew it was you all along Richard Nixon!"
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"- Caught you red-handed! - Indeed you did! How did you know I would strike here?"
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"- By reading Teetle the Timid Taxidermist."
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"You did? Really? Then it worked. My whole plan worked absolutely perfectly!"
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"I knew I had to motivate him somehow."
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"So I formulated a plan to encourage him to learn the magic of reading."
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"-So you fucked a bunch of chickens? - Yes! Yes exactly! Don't you see?"
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