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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Conjugal Conjecture (S10E10)

"Nice to meet you."
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"Hello, my hateful shrew."
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"Hello to you, you wrinkled old bastard."
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"Dude, the minute you opened that e-mail, they knew you got it."
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"I don't know. He uses that traffic app."
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"Leonard?"
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"Anything unspeakable was finished by 9:30."
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"you're gonna have to stop talking."
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"♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪"
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"and do yourself a favor, all right?"
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"When Beverly gets here, do not bring up last night."
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"you didn't see anything."
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"I want you just to play dumb."
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"Penny, wait. Why?"
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"goes out of his way to humiliate me."
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"You didn't get a $500 traffic ticket."
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"are chasing you makes you a lunatic, then... yeah, okay."
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"I'm looking for Howard Wolowitz."
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"No, you may not."
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"Okay."
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"I told them all about you."
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"to know our problems."
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"Well, Mom, I'm sorry, but..."
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"Stop trying to be the cool dad;"
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"that I just lied to the government for you?"
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"Hi, Colonel Williams, how can I help you?"
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"What? Oh, uh, yes, he is from India."
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"No, I don't know his immigration status."
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"Speaking."
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"I can't wait for this day to be over."
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"Morning. Hello."
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"Good, good. Good."
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"then we'll go across the hall and say hi to everyone."
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"Oh, I'm sorry."
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"with a man I just met?"
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"Well, nothing happened, right?"
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"You're not seriously going to visit each other."
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"And if it antagonizes you, that's just a bonus."
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"What? But he's a mediocre academic."
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"Fine, then you go!"
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"Now, I could be with Alfred..."
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"Great, now I have to start all over."
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"What you've gotta put up with?"
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"Hey, there he is! Hey!"
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"I'm just feeling a little guilty"
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"We took things remarkably slow."
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"That's really stupid advice."
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"Okay."
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"seemed like a chance to show off."
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"Yeah, that's the smile I'm gonna remember"
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"Um, Randall's in between jobs."
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"Well, I could use another beer."
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"You're done."
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"We're here today to celebrate love."
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"Sigh louder, no one heard you."
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"Thank you for marrying me."
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"I love you, Penny."
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"Thank you. All right, let's continue."
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"It's happening."
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"Beverly, I'm sorry if I upset you."
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"Plenty of time for you to meet another geriatric boy toy."
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"that men are going to be interest in her."
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"Yes ma'am."
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"You'll get there."
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"Cops, cops, be cool!"
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"Previously on The Big Bang Theory..."
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"Dad, this is Sheldon's mother, Mary."
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"How do you do?"
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"And, of course, Mom."
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"Just got an e-mail from the U.S. Air Force."
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"I'm just afraid if I respond, then they'll know I got it."
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"I mean, they're probably looking at you"
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"Oh, God."
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"I think someone's following us."
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"Why is he turning here? The restaurant's the other way."
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"Maybe there's an accident."
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"Oh, so follow him."
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"Leonard, if you don't mind,"
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"I think I'm a little tired."
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"I'm gonna call it a night."
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"Sure, Dad."
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"I'm a little tuckered out myself."
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"Well, I will see you all in the morning."
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"Would you like to share a cab?"
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"Where are you staying? I'm at the Westin."
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"Well, so am I."
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"Could I interest you in a nightcap?"
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"I think that you could."
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"Leonard?"
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"What?"
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"You realize you and I could become brothers."
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"We're not gonna be brothers."
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"We're not gonna be stepbrothers."
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"Go to sleep."
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"I hope you're right."
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"'Cause a grown man living with his brother"
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"and his brother's wife is weird."
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"Go to sleep."
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"Okay."
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"Do you think your father's doing unspeakable things"
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"to my mother?"
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"Are you saying that"
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"Your parents are old."
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"Go to sleep."
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"Very well."
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"I'm sorry if this stuff is gonna make the ceremony awkward."
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"God, I thought my brother fresh out of jail"
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"Hey, if you want me to sleep"
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"♪ That all started with a big bang ♪"
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"Okay, I'm gonna go pick up my family."
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"Like an hour and half, two hours, depending on traffic."
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"Yeah, drive safe. Oh, hey,"
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"All right? As far as you're concerned,"
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"It was nice of her to show us playing dumb with an example."
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"What?"
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"Hi. Okay, hey there, I got-- I'm sorry, I got to go now."
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"I wanted to thank you for going through all the trouble"
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"of planning a second wedding ceremony for me,"
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"but unfortunately I cannot attend."
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"Well, why? What's wrong?"
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