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Clips from The Mick - The Buffer (S01E01)

"I'm Jimmy."
The Mick
"Yeah!"
The Mick
"Something, it's disgusting."
The Mick
"Nah, I don't know, Mick."
The Mick
"Are you giving me parenting advice?"
The Mick
"Do you like my turtle?"
The Mick
"Oh, there we go."
The Mick
"Yeah. How's it going?"
The Mick
"- Everything good? - Yep."
The Mick
"Just chillin'."
The Mick
"Yeah, yeah."
The Mick
"So, Kai, huh?"
The Mick
"What's his deal? Is he like a..."
The Mick
"- a fireman or a model or something? - No."
The Mick
"No, he builds furniture out of found wood."
The Mick
"Found wood."
The Mick
"So, I guess you guys are having sex, huh?"
The Mick
"I'd let him do things to me..."
The Mick
"you're a woman with needs and I get it,"
The Mick
"so as long as you're using condoms, I'm cool."
The Mick
"Do you have any idea how poisonous that stuff is?"
The Mick
"Oh..."
The Mick
"I get it."
The Mick
"- I got beef. - Who, Jimmy?"
The Mick
"It's a modern miracle!"
The Mick
"The pill revolutionized everything for women."
The Mick
"Those pills are magic?"
The Mick
"as long as I'm here, I have two jobs:"
The Mick
"No deaths, no births."
The Mick
"You're 17!"
The Mick
"What is he, like 30?"
The Mick
"Cool like acceptable."
The Mick
"Come on, this is the kind of mistake"
The Mick
"that could ruin your life."
The Mick
"I'm not gonna get pregnant."
The Mick
"Jimmy, can I have a word with you in the bedroom for a second?"
The Mick
"So, listen,"
The Mick
"Remember how I felt about this conversation before?"
The Mick
"- Mm-hmm. - Nothing's changed."
The Mick
"Cute little silver package."
The Mick
"Oh, yeah? Okay, cool, well,"
The Mick
"we have a lot more here."
The Mick
"Now, what is this gizmo?"
The Mick
"No chemicals, no hormones."
The Mick
"Looks like we've"
The Mick
"- Come on. - I'm gonna shove it all..."
The Mick
"I guess I'll have to be the condom."
The Mick
"or any hobbies, I'll figure something out."
The Mick
"I need your signature."
The Mick
"I'm not big on paper trails."
The Mick
"Well, I thought about what Jimmy said"
The Mick
"- What's up? - Chip here"
The Mick
"I should be able to do whatever the hell I want with it!"
The Mick
"It's actually a pretty simple procedure."
The Mick
"Okay..."
The Mick
"Hmm. Well,"
The Mick
"Oh, my God!"
The Mick
"What are you doing?"
The Mick
"Oh, come on."
The Mick
"Oh!"
The Mick
"Yeah! There we go."
The Mick
"Get a little air flow going."
The Mick
"Now we're talking."
The Mick
"You kids go nuts."
The Mick
"All the girls at my school are stupid trolls!"
The Mick
"I didn't, you walked into my room."
The Mick
"I'm sorry. Look, all I'm saying is"
The Mick
"Forget Kai and his looks."
The Mick
"No, it's not. It's terrible."
The Mick
"when you won't stop breathing down my neck?!"
The Mick
"Whoa, Benny, what is going on with you, bud?"
The Mick
"get pregnant, okay... Prométame."
The Mick
"I already raised Sabrina, Chip, and Ben."
The Mick
"- And the no sleeping and the diapers. - I get it. Hey, hey, yes..."
The Mick
"My nipples are like old chewing gum."
The Mick
"I'll figure it out, okay."
The Mick
"Oh, Alba, that is very generous of you,"
The Mick
"and I've been slacking off."
The Mick
"Back off, Alba, okay? I'm doing my plan."
The Mick
"Just be grateful you get to listen."
The Mick
"- Hello? - Oh, hey, you."
The Mick
"- Oh, yeah? - Yep."
The Mick
"Oh, I think I know what the problem is."
The Mick
"Normally I'm, huh, on top of it"
The Mick
"It's, kind of, like..."
The Mick
"You hearing it at all?"
The Mick
"I think if we... you just gave me a second, we could..."
The Mick
"Are you... are you leaving? Leave. Get out of here."
The Mick
"Get out of my room. Get out of my room"
The Mick
"Not now, Alba, okay? Not now."
The Mick
"Hey, Chip."
The Mick
"So, uh, did you take that math test?"
The Mick
"really pretty and, like, super cool,"
The Mick
"all that good stuff."
The Mick
"Well, I was just wondering if I..."
The Mick
"not blow her guts out."
The Mick
"No, you're not. You guys are lucky to have me here."
The Mick
"You hand a guy something like this,"
The Mick
"he just starts throwing cash at you, no questions asked."
The Mick
"Well, that's not possible"
The Mick
"'cause she's using condoms, right?"
The Mick
"- Right. Yeah, of course. - Yeah, I'm just saying,"
The Mick
"in Poodle's bathroom, you know, just to be sure."
The Mick
"Hey, buddy, I'm glad you called."
The Mick
"and Steffi booted my nuts into my throat."
The Mick
"- I freakin' hate girls. - Hey, come on."
The Mick
"that could mean something more serious, maybe even infertility."
The Mick
"Okay, okay. Shh. Keep a straight face, okay."
The Mick
"What? What is this news? I don't know what it could be."
The Mick
"Ma'am, ma'am, with all due respect, I got this."
The Mick
"I get to build him a crib and a rocking horse,"
The Mick
"- I love you. - Mm..."
The Mick
"Well, we wanted to teach you a lesson, you know, so we..."
The Mick
"So I-I hope you learned."
The Mick
"Okay. Well, thank you."
The Mick
"Oh, my God, do you still want to marry me?"
The Mick
"- No. - No baby, fake baby."
The Mick
"Come on, Ben, what's going on with you, buddy?"
The Mick
"I'm just a big, fat, no-talent loser."
The Mick
"- What magic pills? - The ones in your purse."
The Mick
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