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Clips from Three's Company - Home Movies (S02E02)

"What's that funny smell?"
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"That's my new perfume."
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"It's called Now or Never."
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"- It's happening again! - [ Both ] What?"
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"[ Sighs ] I have been reading the funeral notices all week."
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"They're so interesting. Everybody dies in alphabetical order."
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"Chrissy honey, you see... [ Doorbell Ringing ]"
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"I'll get it. Okay, good."
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"Boy, some of the things that girl comes up with."
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"Yeah. It's scary, but sometimes she's right."
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"Maybe we should change our names to something beginning with a "Z.""
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"Oh, right, Jack."
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"What are you gonna call yourself? Jack Zipper?"
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"No. I wouldn't like people going around saying,"
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""Hey, fella, your name is open." [ Janet Laughs ]"
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"It's for me! It's from home! Oh, boy!"
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"What is it? It's not my birthday or anything."
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"Oh, thank God. I was beginning to feel guilty already."
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"[ Gasps ] It's a camera!"
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"A movie camera. Wow-wee!"
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"What on earth would make my parents do a thing like that?"
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"The only thing I mentioned to them in my last letter..."
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"was that I was dating a nice Methodist boy who liked films."
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"Great. Next time, tell them you're going out with a banker."
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"See? Okay."
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"Oh, hi, Janet. [ Muttering ]"
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"Oh, boy, that felt good."
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"Nothing like a nice, brisk walk around the block first thing in the morning."
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"I thought you went upstairs to fix the window in the kids' apartment."
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"Later."
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"Have you got something on your face?"
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"I like it. You should always wear it."
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"You're wasting your time, Stanley."
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"Insults bounce right off me."
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"A brick would bounce off that stuff."
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"[ Screams ] Don't touch it!"
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"I'm not supposed to move my face."
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"That stuff's getting very popular. I saw"
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"someone wearing it on television the other day."
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"- Really? - Yeah. Lon Chaney in The Mummy's Curse."
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"Well, he's got his curse."
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"I've got you."
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"Well, I think I'll take a quick shower."
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"In your raincoat?"
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"Of course not. I'll hang it up when I get in there."
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"- So you just went out for a nice, brisk walk, huh, Stanley? - Yeah, that's right."
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"- Nothing else, huh? - No, nothing else."
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"Are you finished with your third degree? Maybe I'll take my shower now."
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"And while you're in there, you might as well give those dirty magazines a bath too."
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"Wh... What dirty magazines?"
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"The ones you've got in your pockets."
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"Show them to me. I just told you what they were."
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"I don't have to show them to you. Oh, go fix your windows."
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"[ Camera Whirring ] Okay."
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"Don't just sit there. Do something interesting."
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"Uh, okay."
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"[ Screams ] No! No, not that interesting."
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"I can't think of anything else to do. [ Huffing ]"
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"Come here. You can never think of anything else to do."
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"Sit down, Jack. Sit, sit. Oh, what is this?"
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"Just a little face powder to help your nose not shine. Are you sure we need it?"
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"[ Spitting ] Yes, I'm sure. Close your eyes, please."
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"Close, close. All right. What's this?"
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"This is just what they use when you're taking pictures."
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"Just help the eyes stand out. [ Laughing ]"
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"Why is she laughing? I don't know."
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"What is this? Just a little bit of eye shadow."
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"That's it. I'm walking off the set. Cancel my contract."
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"Oh, no! That's great. Oops."
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"That's good. Action! Stop following me."
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"That's terrific. Now, come here. Do something natural."
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"I'm about to."
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"And you're not going to take pictures."
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"[ Coughs ]"
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"Oh, Janet, do something? What, honey?"
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"Um, arrange those flowers."
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"Chrissy, I already did that."
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"What? Chrissy... [ Muttering ] [ Chuckling ]"
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"Okay, now, laugh. Laugh, yeah. Chrissy! Laugh?"
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"[ Forced Laughter ] [ Forced Laughter ] More Laughter."
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"[ Laughter Continues ]"
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"Okay, cut! Ha-ha, ho-ho-ho."
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"Oh, that was great. [ Groans ]"
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"Tomorrow I'm gonna put some film in the camera. Ooh, Chrissy!"
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"[ Doorbell Rings ] Ooh! Next time,"
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"will you please date a stamp collector?"
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"Hi, Mr. Roper. I came up to fix your broken window."
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"Oh, good. Say, is it raining outside?"
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"- No. - Oh. Oh."
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"Hi, Mr. Roper."
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"He came up to, um... He came up to fix the broken window."
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"- Is it raining outside? - No."
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"Oh."
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"Oh, no. It's just a little eye shadow."
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"Do you like it?"
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""Eye shadow"?"
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"I'll show you the broken window. It's in my room."
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"I-I'll find it myself."
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"Be my guest."
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"[ Hissing ]"
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"Hurry it up, Chrissy. I gotta go to the game with Larry tonight."
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"I'm nearly finished. Oh, I hope you like it, Neil."
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"I probably made quite a few mistakes. [ Doorbell Ringing ]"
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"Hey, Chrissy, don't tear yourself apart."
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"I'm sure your movie will deserve to be hidden away in the archives."
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"Well, thank you, Jack."
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"Hi, Jack. You ready to go?"
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"I promised Chrissy I'd stay and watch her home movies first."
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"Come on. The game starts in 15 minutes."
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"I know. It won't take long. Larry, this is Chrissy's friend, Neil."
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"[ Exchanging Greetings ] Neil collects old sprocket holes."
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"Okay, sit down. Here we go. [ Whirring ]"
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"[ Chrissy Laughing ]"
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"[ Laughing Continues ]"
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"Oh, here's where I decide to put some action in it."
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"Here's Janet going to the beach. [ Laughs ]"
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"[ Laughing ]"
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"Oh, here's the part where Janet loses the top of her bikini!"
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"No, not really."
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"Well, how'd you like it?"
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