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Clips from New Girl - Eggs (S02E02)

"- Yeah, me too. - All different kinds."
New Girl
"I know what's about to happen. You will all want to cover your ears."
New Girl
"Lesbian baby. Congratulations, you guys."
New Girl
"[SINGING] Who's that girl?"
New Girl
"Oh, God, that was a mistake. Duck down. That was a mistake."
New Girl
"We're taking that test."
New Girl
"This is good."
New Girl
"[R&B MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]"
New Girl
"Would you trust me? You're gonna be fine."
New Girl
"Man, I gotta run with the bulls."
New Girl
"Okay, Schmidt. Female pleasure."
New Girl
"It's the baby hormones. They are not as gay as me."
New Girl
"- What? - These are off the charts for someone your age."
New Girl
"All right."
New Girl
"No, no, no. I am. Okay? I know that I am."
New Girl
"That's love."
New Girl
"- Where are the snakes?! - All day."
New Girl
"Adjusted schedule. Let the snakes out."
New Girl
"Just stop wasting my time. I'm tired and I need to sleep."
New Girl
"I'll be okay."
New Girl
"- Hey, Winston. - Aah! What?"
New Girl
"- Yep. Let's go. - Jess!"
New Girl
"- Thank you. I did finish. - You finished."
New Girl
"Read it out loud, Winston."
New Girl
"- To my dear friends Melissa and Sadie. - Aw."
New Girl
"JESS: Five years together. That is awesome. - Hear, hear."
New Girl
"- What is your secret? - I don't think there is a secret. I think it's just..."
New Girl
"...love, understanding and two sets of boobs."
New Girl
"Oh, I love boobs. I love them."
New Girl
"- I love everything about them. - Okay."
New Girl
"[BOTH BURBLING]"
New Girl
"- Yeah, that's mine too. - I love them."
New Girl
"SCHMIDT: The Curiosity rover has touched down..."
New Girl
"...on the planet Mars. - What's happening in there?"
New Girl
"Schmidt's in there with his boss."
New Girl
"- He's "entertaining" her. - Ew!"
New Girl
"I don't care what he does. I just don't understand why he has to narrate it!"
New Girl
"SCHMIDT: Robot arm engaged. - It's just engaged now?"
New Girl
"So he's saying everything up to this point has been foreplay?"
New Girl
"Are you kidding me? That's ridiculous. Twenty minutes of foreplay?"
New Girl
"Boring. Yawn."
New Girl
"Am I right, ladies?"
New Girl
"SCHMIDT: I found water! - Oh."
New Girl
"I didn't do it in time."
New Girl
"Anybody seen a movie in the last five months? Can you describe the plot in detail and loudly?"
New Girl
"- You're dry. - Actually, I'm good, thank you."
New Girl
"Come on. I spent $6 on this wine."
New Girl
"I've been looking for the right time to tell you, but Melissa and I are so excited because..."
New Girl
"[SCHMIDT HUMMING FANFARE]"
New Girl
"Wow, that is so upsetting."
New Girl
"- What mission is this based on? - I'm pregnant. We're pregnant."
New Girl
"- We're pregnant. - What?"
New Girl
"MELISSA: We're having a baby!"
New Girl
"I feel so lucky, you know? I really tucked this one in just under the wire."
New Girl
"- What do you mean? You're so young. - As your friendly gynecologist..."
New Girl
"...you should know by the time a lady hits 30, she loses about 90 percent of her eggs."
New Girl
"- What? - No, that can't be true."
New Girl
"There's a test that tells you how many beans you got in your bean sack."
New Girl
"Ovaries. It estimates, basically, how many child-bearing years you have left."
New Girl
"Yeah. Get this baloney, I'm 32, but my eggs are 48 and my vagina is 97."
New Girl
"I am so uncomfortable."
New Girl
"But it gets better with age. It's the vagina Helen Mirren."
New Girl
"- Oh, boy. - I've got big plans for the centennial."
New Girl
"- When can I take that? CECE: Who cares?"
New Girl
"I'm still in the "Please, God, I hope I'm not pregnant" phase."
New Girl
"What am I doing here?"
New Girl
"But clinically speaking, it's a good idea to know."
New Girl
"I wanna take this test now. Can we take this test now?"
New Girl
"- Morning, ladies. And Nick. - Morning?"
New Girl
"Well, I mean, I work nights now, so I'm on an adjusted sleeping schedule."
New Girl
"I just woke up. Here's my breakfast. I'm going to work."
New Girl
"They're talking about vaginae. I hate it. Take me with you."
New Girl
"[MELISSA & SADIE LAUGH]"
New Girl
"Our bodies really made something."
New Girl
"I feel like we brought manufacturing jobs back to America."
New Girl
"- Yeah, it was fine. - What do you mean "fine"?"
New Girl
"I broke your brain, girl."
New Girl
"How do I put this delicately?"
New Girl
"I was nowhere close to finishing."
New Girl
"I was bored and cold."
New Girl
"Uh, heh."
New Girl
"World shattered."
New Girl
"We'll try again. It'll be better."
New Girl
"The world I once lived in, shattered."
New Girl
"- All right, see you at work. - See you at work."
New Girl
"MAN [OVER PHONE]: Put me on. I got something to say about Andrew Bynum's hair."
New Girl
"WINSTON: All right, caller, you're up next."
New Girl
"Look at you, man. This is great. King of your own castle."
New Girl
"I mean, heh, look at this. What is this? Why do you need so many pens, you big shot?"
New Girl
"I like what I do. My life is moving in the right direction."
New Girl
"That is what I don't have in my life."
New Girl
"But not anymore."
New Girl
"I'm gonna take one of these pens, I'm gonna go home, and I'm gonna write my zombie novel."
New Girl
"You don't think I can do it?"
New Girl
"It's not that, it's just that sometimes I get the feeling that you don't wanna write."
New Girl
"[SIGHS]"
New Girl
"[SCOFFS]"
New Girl
"No more excuses. I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna write that novel."
New Girl
"- And I'll be the first to read it. - We got a deal, friend."
New Girl
"MAN: Yeah, you still have me on the line. My two cents?"
New Girl
"- He's never gonna write that book. - Why don't you shut up, Manny?"
New Girl
"- Who asked you? Hang up. - All right."
New Girl
"We should go. Melissa's been drinking for two."
New Girl
"- Three. JESS: Awesome night, ladies."
New Girl
"- Educational. Thank you. - Sorry."
New Girl
"- What? - Okay, I'm sorry."
New Girl
"- Can I just ask you a few questions? - I know where this is going."
New Girl
"You're a gynecologist and a lesbian, which makes you, well, a vagenius."
New Girl
"- Jar. - I know my way around a Grizzly Adams."
New Girl
"- You too? Jar. SCHMIDT: As an adult male..."
New Girl
"...I would like to ask you a few questions about, you know, the downstairs girl cookie."
New Girl
"- Jars, jars. All around, jars. - This is my personal time right now."
New Girl
"You can make an appointment at my office, pay your $40 co-pay..."
New Girl
"...I will be happy to answer your questions. - Yes. I'm in. Please."
New Girl
"- Would I have to put my legs in the stirrups? - Why would you?"
New Girl
"I'm asking more so out of curiosity than fear. Hashtag "excitement.""
New Girl
"- Are you done? - I'm done."
New Girl
"I'll see you, okay? I'm gonna call the office."
New Girl
"Well, thank you guys for the awesome drunk evening and the weirdly sobering end."
New Girl
"Look, I know Sadie freaked you out, but I wanna remind you..."
New Girl
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