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Clips from How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Romance (S01E01)

"OLDER TED; Kids, something you might not know about your Uncle Marshall"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Poker!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I know. It's just fun to say."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm so excited Victoria's coming."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- so if we could just avoid the... - Well, well, well, how rich."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"yet you have been lying to her since day one."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(WHISPERING) No, I swore you to secrecy on that."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And, speaking of digging up dirt,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Thank you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"then you gotta drink."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Three! You got "Autobiography.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What is her name? Sharon? Shannon? - Shannon?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, you were acting so weird about it I gave you Ted's graduation tape instead."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I cannot believe..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Then why don't you tell us your most humiliating moment, Marshall?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"so I figured I should sit down,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, Haircut, right here."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You get money, you get laid. End of discussion."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I feel sorry for you, man."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SCOFFS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We're not quitting just 'cause Ted's so far ahead."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"ROBIN; I was doing a report on live TV about a hansom cab driver,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"BARNEY; I went back to the coffeehouse to find Shannon,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(BAG THUDDING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Marshall's mom sent us cookies. - Lily, no! No, Lily!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We just earned a huge chunk of story."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- But I love you. - But he has a boat."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I didn't see her until a week later,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Shannon! Shannon, you came back!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Did you... Did you get my tape?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(LAUGHING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SHANNON AND GREG LAUGHING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The story's not over. I did see Shannon one more time."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, come on, Ted! You know what story I wanna hear."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"TED; We all ended up at the bar with our cabdriver, Ranjit,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"To the car."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Though you kind of ruined my customized Scherbatsky doormat."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Money, suits and sex. These are tears of joy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Of course, not every secret was told that night,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She and Greg dated for a while, and then split up."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She has a little kid named Max."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That's crazy. That could've been my kid."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But instead, what do I have?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"My whole life's some money in the bank, some suits in my closet,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and a string of one-night stands."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, come on."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I mean, just because her life went one way,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and yours went another, doesn't make your life any worse."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I could be cooped up in some tiny apartment,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"changing some brat's poopy diapers,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but instead, I'm out in the world being awesome 24/7, 365."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You let me dodge a bullet, Big Guy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Plus, here's the mini-cherry, on top of the regular cherry,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is my life."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"After Shannon and I talked, I nailed her."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- No. - Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- No. - Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Sorry, don't buy it. You're making it up."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You're just trying to cover the fact that you actually had a profound moment"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"of doubt about yourself and..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SHANNON MOANING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Oh, my God. - SHANNON; Oh, Barney, oh,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Video's pretty good on this phone, huh?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"SHANNON; Is your phone on?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"BARNEY; Oh, no, it just takes a while to power down,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, gross. Just stop it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(CHUCKLING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ladies, gentlemen, Ted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"This has been a wonderful evening."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I got great dirt on all you guys. I got Ted to tell the re-return."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I finally nailed Shannon! Told her I'd call her tomorrow."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, right."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And I rediscovered just how awesomely awesome my life is."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I think Barney just won game night."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"even from our closest friends"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"that those rare times when we do open up,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"it's amazing how minor those secrets all end up seeming,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"$100 says when you turn around..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But that's getting ahead of the story,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"is that he's always been good at games,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I mean unbeatable,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Gin!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yahtzee!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You don't have to shout out "poker" when you win."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED; We all finally agreed,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Marshall should be running our game nights,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"instead of playing in them,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Which he took to mean, "Invent your own game,""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's called "Marshgammon.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It combines all the best features of all the best games,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Candyland, I Never, Pictionary."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Backgammon, obviously. - No."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Backgammon sucks."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I took the only good part of "backgammon," the "gammon,""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and I left the rest of it in the trash where it belongs."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm gonna go get another round."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay. I wanna lay down some ground rules for tonight, Barney."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I actually like Victoria a lot."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, don't say anything... Don't say anything."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And, guys, I haven't exactly told Victoria"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"that I used to have a kind of thing for Robin,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You make me promise to be on my best behavior around your girlfriend,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Excuse me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hi, Leg Warehouse?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, my friend Ted needs something to stand on."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, nothing for him to stand on? Okay, thanks so much."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted, doesn't Victoria deserve to know that you once had the hots for Robin?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I have half a mind to tell the story of the re-return."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I am smelling dirt. What is the story of the re-return?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Nothing. It's nothing."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"can I count on you two to behave around Victoria?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Us? What would we do?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Look, you guys have always been like the parents that I still have,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and, in fact, moved here to get away from."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"However, could we skip the traditional interrogation"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"of the new girlfriend tonight?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Fine. - Fine."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I should go help Robin. - Okay."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, you gonna be okay hanging out with Victoria tonight?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
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