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Clips from Schitt's Creek (2015) - Stop Saying Lice! (S03E03)

"it's just lice, just get the shampoo,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and deal with it!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"that you can't actually get lice from dogs."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"It's a different kind of lice."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay, so what should she use?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Should she use the flea stuff, or..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Oh no, she's fine to use the lice shampoo,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"but it's really more about combing them out."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Ewww! - On the upside,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"you could tell her that..."
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"and she shouldn't be too embarrassed."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"when it comes to the metal comb, so..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Okay, are you sure, because she didn't want to um,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"she didn't wanna bug you on a weekend."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Bug me."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Um, you know that it's me, right?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Yeah, caught on pretty quick. - Okay, thank you."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"You're the sweetest little vet I've ever met."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"because I'm benching 225 right now,"
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"so it's not really something someone little..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Aaah, Ted! - Okay, yep."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"that would be great."
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"Can you drink these?"
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"Um, it's liquid moisturizer,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"You know, I told David that the label"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"What was it you said?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
""Anyone with a fiber of common sense"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"would know that it's not actually milk.""
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"What do we think body milk is,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"if not milk... for your body?!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Exactly. - Stevie, right?"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- Yeah. - I'm Patrick."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Oh well, anyone with a fiber of common sense would know that."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I like you."
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"Okay, is this how this is gonna go?"
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"Because we have way too much work to do today"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"for me to feel attacked by way"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"of an imbalanced social dynamic."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Are-are you wearing a shower cap?!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Alexis has lice,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"By wearing one of our hats that we now can't sell."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"- at this point. - Uh huh."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"so just 'cause you don't have it now,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"doesn't mean that you couldn't get it tonight,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"or tomorrow, or whenever."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"It's almost as if you want me to get the lice."
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"I don't want you to get it,"
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"You can crash at my place tonight if you need to."
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"Thank you."
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"- Oh, - So..."
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"Can I crash at your place?"
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"This is really fun for me."
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"I'm having a lot of fun."
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"I never thought I'd see the day, John."
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"You've been domesticated beyond recognition."
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"Moira, it's been a bit of a day here."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I just came from council,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"and they want to name a garden after me."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"A garden?"
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"Oh, that's flattering."
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"I've got that playhouse theater in Pasadena,"
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"my titular scholarship with Phoenix,"
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"David and Alexis."
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"Yeah, but still, a garden is nice."
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"You'd have to think twice about turning that down."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Oh."
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"Okay."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Well, it's just..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"about a month ago I heard from the"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Lucy Albion Studio Theater in Pasadena."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I don't know what that is."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"It... used to be called the Moira Rose..."
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"They've stripped the playhouse of my name?"
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"Who the (Bleep) is Lucy Albion?!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"And when were you planning on telling me this, John?!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"to bad news in the past."
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"I just thought it might sit better with you"
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"once you'd heard about the garden."
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"No, I just told you about the garden."
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"to name a garden after me?"
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"No, no!"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"After I offered to pay for the plaque,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"I don't believe this."
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"would make losing the theater less painful!"
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"Or fed your pacifying pablum like some kind of..."
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"soft-headed infant!"
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"Oh no, no, now I just wonder what else"
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"you're keeping from me."
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"Nothing!"
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"Ewwww!"
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"I assume you shaved her head!"
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"These have to be boxed now!"
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"Moira, I've got it all taken care of."
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"And I'd think twice about that garden."
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"is as abhorrent to me as our daughter's scalp!"
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"What are you doing in here?"
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"No, we said not to change the sheets."
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"I could've sworn I heard you say change the sheets."
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"- Well, while I'm here, I may as well... - Please, just leave the bed."
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"- Sure. - What's going on?"
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"What's going on?"
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"Well, my... okay."
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"My daughter and I were setting up the room earlier,"
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"and it turns out she has lice."
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"I was changing the sheets because you know, I didn't wanna take a chance."
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"Been there."
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"Yeah, our six year old daughter had lice last year."
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"Oh, and I checked your hairbrush and it is fine."
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"You checked my hairbrush?!"
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"It's a complimentary service."
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"Why didn't you just tell me that you had lice?"
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"Ted, a bug literally fell out of my head,"
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"onto my textbook this morning."
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"Plus I didn't want you to picture me"
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"like some well-toned bug woman."
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"Well, I've seen worse."
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"Fleas, ticks, worms."
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"Granted, all of those were on house pets."
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"- Ted! - I'm just saying,"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"that you know, it could've been worse."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
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