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Clips from Friends - The One with the Donor (S09E09)

"- Oh, hey, Rach? - Yeah?"
Friends
"- That's off, right? - What's the matter, Pheebs?"
Friends
"I didn't even think about that."
Friends
"I'm sorry there wasn't better news from your tests last week..."
Friends
"Even though your chances of conceiving through natural means aren't great..."
Friends
"- Hey, you guys. - Hi."
Friends
"Just seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist."
Friends
"I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given."
Friends
"But if they're off by even a 100,000 years or so..."
Friends
"So, what I'm saying is..."
Friends
"Yeah."
Friends
"Okay."
Friends
"So, what were you doing out there? Do you not like Charlie?"
Friends
"...and just swept Joey off his feet. Nobody else has a chance."
Friends
"- So can we keep this between us? - Sure."
Friends
"I brought a friend home for dinner. This is Zack from work."
Friends
"- So Zack's pretty nice, huh? - Yeah, I guess."
Friends
"Look. He's intelligent, he's healthy, he's athletic. I mean, he's sperm-tastic!"
Friends
"I'm not going to be a part of this."
Friends
"You can't bring some random guy home and expect him to be our sperm donor."
Friends
"Okay."
Friends
"I'm Rachel."
Friends
"Okay, well, I heard that. Which means that she heard it too."
Friends
"He, um... He fell asleep."
Friends
"- Barbados. - Fine, I'll rent a car and drive."
Friends
"If he realizes that I'm the one who put him to sleep, I won't get the job."
Friends
"No, wait a minute."
Friends
"What do you think? I want his genes for my kid. Those eyes, those cheekbones."
Friends
"Hey, speaking of crazy..."
Friends
"- Sure. - All right."
Friends
"I don't have time for your childish games, okay?"
Friends
"Oh, really? In the dressing room? Well, that's so weird."
Friends
"Yeah."
Friends
"Oh!"
Friends
"Wow! You look..."
Friends
"...the positronic distillation of subatomic particles?"
Friends
"- Good for you. - Yeah."
Friends
"It's actually because of you that we're together."
Friends
"Are you always tired?"
Friends
"Yeah? You think so? Should I ask him?"
Friends
"No."
Friends
"...I just realized I don't care if he is the most perfect guy in the world."
Friends
"- Really? Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm sure."
Friends
"I'm the husband. I'm supposed to bring the sperm."
Friends
"Oh, that feels so good."
Friends
"Oh, lucky me. Coffee and a live sex show."
Friends
"- I'm sorry, what? - I'm sorry."
Friends
"- Nothing. I was just reading to Emma. - From Cosmo?"
Friends
"Yeah. Yeah, it's, uh:"
Friends
""Climax Your Way to Better Skin.""
Friends
"So I have to go shopping today, which is my least favorite thing."
Friends
"I'm so bad at picking out clothes."
Friends
"So you need someone who knows fashion to, uh, tell you what looks good."
Friends
"Not me. Not me. Not me."
Friends
"- Maybe you could take Charlie shopping? - Oh, well..."
Friends
"- I'm sure you have better things to do. - You kidding?"
Friends
"Rachel loves to shop, and she has great taste."
Friends
"She's the one that taught me not to wear white after Labor Day..."
Friends
"...and to always, always, always put on underwear when trying on clothes."
Friends
"If you have the time, I'd really appreciate the help."
Friends
"Okay. Yeah, let's shop."
Friends
"Okay, you are gonna come back with some very classy clothes. Ha-ha-ha."
Friends
"And some slutty lingerie. Slutty!"
Friends
"Okay, great. All right, bye."
Friends
"Pain in the ass!"
Friends
"Ugh, Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight and he's gonna be there."
Friends
"She was like, "Don't worry. I asked him and he's totally okay with seeing you.""
Friends
"So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally okay with seeing him."
Friends
"- You're not. You're hung up on him. - Exactly."
Friends
"You want him to eat his heart out, so you have to look fabulous."
Friends
"Ugh. Sexual politics!"
Friends
"Pheebs, I'm taking Charlie shopping."
Friends
"- Come and I'll help you find something. - That'd be great."
Friends
"Oh, isn't that nice? The three of you, trying on slutty lingerie together."
Friends
"- That's not what we're gonna do. - Why'd you ruin it? Who was I hurting?"
Friends
"Wow. Fortunately, she has a very pretty face."
Friends
"I still can't believe this. My uterus is an inhospitable environment?"
Friends
"I've always tried so hard to be a good hostess."
Friends
"I can't believe my sperm have low motility."
Friends
"While I was growing up, they sure seemed to be in a hurry to get places."
Friends
"- Hi there. - Hi."
Friends
"...but I wanted to talk to you about your options."
Friends
"Okay."
Friends
"...you never know, so keep having sex on a regular basis."
Friends
"Oh, damn it!"
Friends
"Given your situation, the options with the greatest chances for success..."
Friends
"...would be surrogacy or insemination using a sperm donor."
Friends
"Okay."
Friends
"If you feel that neither of those is right for you, you could always adopt."
Friends
"Is that a hint?"
Friends
"Because we love you, Dr. Connelly, but we don't want you to be our child."
Friends
"Wow. Talk about an inhospitable environment."
Friends
"Hi. Okay, you ready to go pick up Phoebe and go shopping?"
Friends
"- Let's do it. - All right, have a good time."
Friends
"Not gonna find any clothes in there."
Friends
"Guess who's up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference?"
Friends
"- Uh, Chris Bailey? - Yeah, right."
Friends
"When was the last time he made a submission deadline for an abstract?"
Friends
"Why are you laughing?"
Friends
"It's fun. Yeah."
Friends
"- You're up for keynote speaker? - Yeah."
Friends
"- Who's deciding? - Professor Sherman."
Friends
"- I'm meeting with him today. - He's a pretty tough guy to impress."
Friends
"I think I know how to dazzle him."
Friends
"Oh, you're not gonna to do a magic trick, are you?"
Friends
"- Hey, guys. - I want to ask you something."
Friends
"I may get to speak at this paleontology convention."
Friends
"If I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me."
Friends
"I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work and/or are sick."
Friends
"- It's in Barbados. - But you come first."
Friends
"I'm there."
Friends
"- We'll see you guys. - Bye."
Friends
"- See you. - Hey."
Friends
"- So how did it go at the fertility clinic? - Not as much fun as last time."
Friends
"Apparently, you only get porn if you're giving a sperm sample."
Friends
"So, uh, what did the doctor say?"
Friends
"There's surrogacy, but Monica's dreamt her whole life of carrying a child..."
Friends
"...and she just felt that watching a surrogate would be too hard for her."
Friends
"- So you're ruling out surrogacy? - Yeah."
Friends
"So I don't have to learn what that means?"
Friends
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