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Clips from American Dad! - Irregarding Steve (S02E02)

"The C.I.A. talent show is in a week."
American Dad!
"And my job is to save the world."
American Dad!
"vampires!"
American Dad!
"It's not dumb, Roger. My dad's a genius. He knows everything."
American Dad!
"So what's Denver like, Dad?"
American Dad!
"Which reminds me. I have an oral report on fossils tomorrow."
American Dad!
"I already know how to talk. So the remaining 10% of the work will be learning about fossils."
American Dad!
"And now to just separate the fossil sites from the porn sites."
American Dad!
""Tyrannosaurus.... Fossil."
American Dad!
"Wow! That is some nasty porn!"
American Dad!
"Arnie, stop chewing on the line."
American Dad!
"Hi! Hi, Gilbert!"
American Dad!
"I was about to make a killing in silver and use the money to buy a popcorn maker!"
American Dad!
"Dad, do you know anything about fossils?"
American Dad!
"and they drove the dinosaurs underground."
American Dad!
"Dumb-ass."
American Dad!
"I brought it down from the attic for dramatic effect."
American Dad!
"Frankly, it was a hassle. But worth it, like Klaus's costume."
American Dad!
"It's fun to play dress up. Not all the time, but sometimes. Not this time."
American Dad!
"we can manipulate your stupid father to get everything we want!"
American Dad!
"I am a shepherd."
American Dad!
""tasty... "low-fat... and "9/11...."
American Dad!
"fell prey to the carnivorous hawk that is my mind."
American Dad!
""Irregardless...? That's not even a real word."
American Dad!
"Y- You,re affixing the negative prefix "ir... to "regardless...."
American Dad!
"- I have half a mind to- - There he goes exaggerating again."
American Dad!
"It's time, Steven."
American Dad!
"- No. New York City. - Fine. Go."
American Dad!
"Farewell, simpleton."
American Dad!
"That's what Andrew Cunanan wrote in his high school yearbook. Byesie-daisies."
American Dad!
"All he has is the shirt on his back and the $1,600 I gave him to pay this quarter's kid tax."
American Dad!
"They,re in the tree house? Oh, thank God."
American Dad!
"Not so fast. It's time to teach our little geniuses a lesson."
American Dad!
"- Oh, my God! - I know. Lunch?"
American Dad!
"- We,ve made it, Steve. - That's right, pal. New York City."
American Dad!
"If it isn't Beauregard Les Fontaine..."
American Dad!
"I,m here to make a splash too."
American Dad!
"That is so Raven."
American Dad!
"Arnie, come bring your mama one of them brownies."
American Dad!
"I,m coming, Mama."
American Dad!
"- What other explanation could there be? - Don't worry. I got us covered."
American Dad!
"Here we go."
American Dad!
"What the hell was that?"
American Dad!
"This is the New York Stock Exchange!"
American Dad!
"like children of every color being at the same McDonald's."
American Dad!
"I know that."
American Dad!
"That doesn't sound like me."
American Dad!
"They,ll stay out there until they respect me."
American Dad!
"Oh, my God! They,re dead!"
American Dad!
"It's okay, Arnie. It would have taken a crane to get her out."
American Dad!
"In this town, with our brains, we,ll turn it into millions in no time."
American Dad!
"Now we play the waiting game."
American Dad!
"Washing the dishes?"
American Dad!
"Honey, it's been three weeks."
American Dad!
"Our little cowboy is in a better place."
American Dad!
"So, basically, all I have to do is stand here..."
American Dad!
"- That's right. - Prostitution is awesome!"
American Dad!
"Howdy. Who wants to be the first buckaroo through these double doors?"
American Dad!
"I know. I just doubled your clientele. I got a brain for business."
American Dad!
"I,m not having sex with guys."
American Dad!
"That you couldn't make it on your own?"
American Dad!
"- That you don't have the brains to make it out here? - No."
American Dad!
"Of course not. I,m here to make sure you never have to go through anything that degrading."
American Dad!
"I never thought I could be happy again."
American Dad!
"Hey, Steve. Want to steer?"
American Dad!
"Maybe my mouth's not as pretty as you keep saying."
American Dad!
"- And your cough is getting worse. - I,m fine."
American Dad!
"Oh. Oh, God. Um, uh, uh, my friend's really sick."
American Dad!
"It was Oscar Wilde."
American Dad!
"by finding stupid people and mocking them."
American Dad!
"I,m not stupid."
American Dad!
"- I don't have to put up with this. - Go ahead, Steve."
American Dad!
"- Just because he doesn't know everything, doesn't- - Aaah!"
American Dad!
"Hey, Roger. Get this. Beauregard, the greyhound-riding half man-"
American Dad!
"My one regret is not watching enough television."
American Dad!
"That's $2,000. We,re going to Rome!"
American Dad!
"- Steve! We thought you were dead! - What about me?"
American Dad!
"Well, he just turned two."
American Dad!
"We can go anywhere."
American Dad!
"They found me. Francine, get on the counter. Now!"
American Dad!
"Francine, it's time you learned the truth."
American Dad!
"My name is not Klaus. It's Professor Max Hammer."
American Dad!
"- Klaus, shut up! - You shut up!"
American Dad!
"Bwap! Did my interpretive dance sell it?"
American Dad!
"- I want a popcorn maker for my attic. - Don't be stupid, Roger."
American Dad!
"The attic is above sea level, and popcorn doesn't pop above sea level."
American Dad!
"That's the dumbest thing I,ve ever heard."
American Dad!
"Hence its nickname: the Windy City."
American Dad!
"Wow. Maybe someday, if I study hard enough..."
American Dad!
"I can be as smart as you."
American Dad!
"Hmm. This sandwich could use a little something."
American Dad!
"There we go!"
American Dad!
"Now to just type "fossils... into the search engine."
American Dad!
""Babe-osaurus.... Porn."
American Dad!
"- Your brother can't keep biting through utility lines. - He won't,Jerry. I promise."
American Dad!
"The Internet is down!"
American Dad!
"I was in the middle of trading stocks online."
American Dad!
"- What's all the commotion? - Wait."
American Dad!
"Uh, Steve, I don't think that's a good idea."
American Dad!
"Are you kidding,? I know everything about fossils. Steve, grab a pen."
American Dad!
"a mere 1,000 years after the creation of Earth..."
American Dad!
"the human-dinosaur treaty fell apart..."
American Dad!
"And that's where fossils come from."
American Dad!
"Damn it!"
American Dad!
"- Problem, Steve? - What are you doing here?"
American Dad!
"It wouldn't fit through the door, so I had to take off the wheels."
American Dad!
"- He's an idiot! - That's what I was trying to tell you."
American Dad!
"But relax. This isn't a bad thing. It's an opportunity."
American Dad!
"As the two smartest people in the house..."
American Dad!
"I don't know, Roger. That sounds kind of mean."
American Dad!
"Steve, sympathy is for the herd."
American Dad!
"And you are a shepherd."
American Dad!
"All right! Let's go screw some sheep!"
American Dad!
"Kudos to the way you conned my dad into getting us this popcorn machine."
American Dad!
"It was just a matter of finding the right way to combine the words..."
American Dad!
"Sir, you are a wit."
American Dad!
"You should write for basic cable."
American Dad!
"You can't talk to me like that."
American Dad!
"Irregardless of what you think of me, I,m still your father."
American Dad!
"But as "regardless... is already negative, it's a logical absurdity."
American Dad!
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