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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Separation Oscillation (S09E09)

"and my wife isn't speaking to me."
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"what it takes many couples decades to achieve."
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"Your lips had a dalliance with the lips of another woman."
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"It seems only logical that"
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"And by dally, I mean some hardcore"
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"♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪"
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"♪ The Earth began to cool ♪"
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"♪ That all started with a big bang ♪"
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"♪ The Big Bang Theory 9x02 ♪ The Separation Oscillation Original Air Date on September"
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"The only way I can sort through my feelings"
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"is if there is space between us."
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"Great. See you in about half an hour."
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"Because we're broken up."
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"Their variety show kept going"
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"long after the divorce,"
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"It's hard for me, too."
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"than in the last two months that we were together."
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"What do I need to do to make you trust me?"
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"You think it's hard having one wife,"
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"I'm here to return your belongings."
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"whose naked bosom I'm smooshing around like pizza dough."
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"Ooh, brownies for girls' night!"
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"I'm mad at you for blabbing to me"
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"I mean, don't even look at it."
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"and haven't told her,"
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"And you let Penny marry him."
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"Hey."
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"I would love that."
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"I'm sorry I said I was okay with everything"
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"before we got married."
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"Okay, when I'm done with him,"
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"I'm gonna need more information."
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"Nothing odd."
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"Forgive me for eavesdropping,"
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"Wake up, wake up, wake up."
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"Oh, even the Sparkletts guy could see that's unlikely."
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"What do you think?"
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"Am I being naive?"
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"You know, he never would've done this when we first met."
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"Oh, me neither, not until just now."
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"But the show must go on."
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"Then I won't say"
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"about you and me and... the boat."
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"Anyway, I told her what happened between you and me,"
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"and she's concerned about us seeing each other at work."
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"It was just a kiss. Why would you even tell her?"
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"Is that really the reason?"
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"I mean, my mother did."
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"she just didn't have any interest in me."
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"Imagine that."
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"such a dysfunctional relationship with Sheldon."
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"the other night that I was in a cave"
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"and I was nursing a baby,"
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"Hey, Leonard!"
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"we came up with a bunch more."
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"And yet Romania gets dumped."
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"of trying to sabotage our wedding?"
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"I still feel like maybe I don't deserve you."
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"You do?"
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"Why would I want to be with someone like me?"
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"being so scared of losing each other"
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"Because..."
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"Yes, please! Okay!"
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"I don't know why you're so surprised."
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"Oh! Wow!"
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"Yeah, there's Fisherman's Wharf and Alcatraz and cable cars."
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"Why are you up?"
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"How am I supposed to sleep?"
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"I've been married less than 24 hours,"
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"Perhaps you can think of this in a more positive light."
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"In one day, you've managed to do"
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"Hi."
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"Hey."
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"You couldn't sleep either?"
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"Me neither."
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"But I just had a tickle in my throat."
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"Not profound marital problems."
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"I don't know."
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"Please, tell me how I can fix it."
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"Glad you asked."
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"As I see it, there's a simple solution."
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"to restore balance to the relationship,"
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"you should find another man and dally with him."
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"mouth-on-mouth action."
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"Okay, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
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"Actually, I think he's onto something."
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"Y-You can't be serious."
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"'Cause I messed up and made out with a girl,"
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"you're gonna do the same with a random guy?"
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"I'm currently single."
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"That's true. You are."
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"What is happening?!"
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"I will tell you what is happening."
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"I am saving my best friend's marriage."
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"♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪"
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"♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪"
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"♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪"
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"♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪"
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"Sheldon, I don't think you understand"
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"how being broken up works."
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"Every time I see you, it re-traumatizes me."
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"I go through the pain all over again."
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"Well, hello to you, too."
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"What do you want?"
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"I understand we're no longer a couple,"
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"but I would like to remind you that we made a baby together."
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"What baby?"
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"A precocious little Internet show"
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"known as "Fun With Flags.""
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"I'm hanging up."
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"Sheldon, I am not doing "Fun With Flags" with you."
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"Sonny and Cher made it work."
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"and here we are still talking about them."
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"No one's talking about Sonny and Cher."
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"You must be thinking about Donny and Marie,"
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"'cause you and I are clearly talking about Sonny and Cher."
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"Sheldon, this has to stop."
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"I know it's hard."
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"But I've seen and talked to you more"
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"in the two days we've been broken up"
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