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Clips from BoJack Horseman - Best Thing That Ever Happened (S03E03)

"- [sighs] - [cell phone rings]"
BoJack Horseman
"- Princess Carolyn, I'm dying. - You read the trades."
BoJack Horseman
"That makes sense because your butt is quite a dish."
BoJack Horseman
"[sighs]"
BoJack Horseman
"And your show is daring and cutting edge. People just aren't ready."
BoJack Horseman
"Yeah. Yeah, people! It's not me."
BoJack Horseman
"It's the people that are the problem!"
BoJack Horseman
"- Really? - Yeah."
BoJack Horseman
"It made me realize you're the best thing that happened to me,"
BoJack Horseman
"BoJack, we can't. I'm your agent."
BoJack Horseman
"You are so much more than that. You're my lighthouse, my Garmin."
BoJack Horseman
"You're the little plastic table they put in pizza boxes"
BoJack Horseman
"to keep the pizza from getting smushed."
BoJack Horseman
"Don't you break my heart, BoJack Horseman."
BoJack Horseman
"- Did you just say something to me? - No, I was just being wistful, I guess."
BoJack Horseman
"Well, can you be wistful a little quieter?"
BoJack Horseman
"- You smell nice. - Thanks, BoJack."
BoJack Horseman
"Should we get dinner, or are you just thinking drinks?"
BoJack Horseman
"is really the best thing for my career right now."
BoJack Horseman
"Right, well, like I said, we are getting lots of offers."
BoJack Horseman
"Signore Horseman! Principessa Carolina!"
BoJack Horseman
"Sweating bullets. How does that make the sense?"
BoJack Horseman
"Don't tell my wife. I'm kidding!"
BoJack Horseman
"Ah. Because there is a restaurant critic here tonight."
BoJack Horseman
"Very interesting."
BoJack Horseman
"Two thumbs down! Four percent fresh!"
BoJack Horseman
"I never see you do anything to help run it."
BoJack Horseman
"This place runs itself. Right, Sandro?"
BoJack Horseman
"I pushed a little too hard to get you the money you deserve."
BoJack Horseman
"What can I say? Sometimes I'm too good of an agent, so deals fall apart."
BoJack Horseman
"That's a thing that happens when agents are really good."
BoJack Horseman
"Onwards and upwards! Tally ho! To the stars!"
BoJack Horseman
"Okay, you're forcing me to use the cards."
BoJack Horseman
""Princess Carolyn, clear throat, I have been very disappointed--""
BoJack Horseman
"- Were you Rizzo? - [female] No, Jan."
BoJack Horseman
"Then don't waste my time."
BoJack Horseman
"You're making this up."
BoJack Horseman
"♪ Happy 23 years working together Can you believe this? ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"sharing our deepest dreams and secrets,"
BoJack Horseman
"being there for each other through all of it, bosom friends,"
BoJack Horseman
"Anne of Green Gables style."
BoJack Horseman
"- Honestly, just-- - I detest you!"
BoJack Horseman
"I hope you rot in the hell!"
BoJack Horseman
"and thrown Sprite in your face!"
BoJack Horseman
"I am a classic stereotype that is tough to come by nowadays,"
BoJack Horseman
"Avanti, all of you! Andiamo!"
BoJack Horseman
"So that was weird, huh?"
BoJack Horseman
"Ryan Murphy is doing a re-imagining of The Life and Times of Harriet Tubman."
BoJack Horseman
"to fuel your subterranean steam-punk slave-tram?"
BoJack Horseman
""It's best, for both of us,"
BoJack Horseman
""You take me for granted, made decisions that were against my wishes,"
BoJack Horseman
"Shouldn't have read that part."
BoJack Horseman
"Here you go, sir."
BoJack Horseman
"- I'll get it! - You two are b'thumping."
BoJack Horseman
"No, you're not b'thumping or no, you're not doing whatever she says?"
BoJack Horseman
"- You screwed up! - Once! In 23 years!"
BoJack Horseman
"And then you would flake, or sabotage them,"
BoJack Horseman
"- a joke, too portly for TV. - Too portly for TV? Who said that?"
BoJack Horseman
"- It doesn't matter. - It does. Who said it?"
BoJack Horseman
"dead-weight carcass of faded talent around my neck."
BoJack Horseman
"- Where is everybody? - That's the problem. They all quit."
BoJack Horseman
"The kitchen's backed up with orders. No one's getting food."
BoJack Horseman
"And the critic is growing very impatient."
BoJack Horseman
"- Just do what you normally do. - But there's no chef."
BoJack Horseman
"But I don't want to be a chef. ♪ I want to sing ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"- A lot of people think that-- - You're the chef! Start cheffing!"
BoJack Horseman
"[giggling]"
BoJack Horseman
"What? Fifty teeth? Get out of here. Let me see."
BoJack Horseman
"You're thrilled to have me out of your life?"
BoJack Horseman
"- I close my mouth, okay? - Nobody cares!"
BoJack Horseman
"- Okay-- - Nope, I'm still counting."
BoJack Horseman
"Because it makes you feel good about yourself."
BoJack Horseman
"BoJack, why were you even in the bounce house, dummy?"
BoJack Horseman
"BoJack, you wasted my thirties!""
BoJack Horseman
"I never said you wasted my thirties."
BoJack Horseman
"- Where are you going? - Away."
BoJack Horseman
"- [sighs] - Hey, listen, man."
BoJack Horseman
"I held my mouth open a really long time."
BoJack Horseman
"It's all right, you're gonna get through this."
BoJack Horseman
"[female] I left for a while and came back."
BoJack Horseman
"Just so you know, this wasn't an easy decision."
BoJack Horseman
"[shouts]"
BoJack Horseman
"Paws not claws! Paws not claws!"
BoJack Horseman
"[BoJack groans]"
BoJack Horseman
"But not here."
BoJack Horseman
"You say you want professionalism? Bullshit."
BoJack Horseman
"I'd love it if you said ten nice things to me."
BoJack Horseman
"- I can say nice things. - Ready when you are."
BoJack Horseman
"Does self-pitying masochist count, or are we starting from scratch?"
BoJack Horseman
"I got this. I got this."
BoJack Horseman
"I'm not your waiter anymore. I'm the chef."
BoJack Horseman
"I have a very important business meeting tomorrow."
BoJack Horseman
"Number six. You know how to make me laugh."
BoJack Horseman
"[laughs] You recognize you're being impossible, right?"
BoJack Horseman
"I'm doing this for both of us. You understand?"
BoJack Horseman
"Either you end up hurting someone or they hurt you. So, what's the point?"
BoJack Horseman
"- Why do I do this to myself? - I don't know."
BoJack Horseman
"[screams]"
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, God, I don't wanna be a chef! I want to be not on fire!"
BoJack Horseman
"and felt like their food was a little too "on fire"."
BoJack Horseman
"I don't know how to make risotto."
BoJack Horseman
"I know how."
BoJack Horseman
"Ugh. Who do they write these songs for?"
BoJack Horseman
"♪ Don't go back to the restaurant Princess Carolyn ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"Ooh, slam. I'm sorry, I'd rather not get involved."
BoJack Horseman
"- Can I get you some more water? - Mmm."
BoJack Horseman
"This is a very important night for the restaurant."
BoJack Horseman
""Who threw my cocaine in the champagne fountain?""
BoJack Horseman
"- How come you never told me that? - I did."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh."
BoJack Horseman
"I went to see Marv. You were at the desk in front of his office."
BoJack Horseman
"The first time was when I was an intern. I delivered a script to your house."
BoJack Horseman
"I hosed you down, dragged you inside, covered you with a blanket."
BoJack Horseman
"So you've gone from daughter of a maid to head of your own company."
BoJack Horseman
"- Don't try to guilt me. - It's not your fault."
BoJack Horseman
"How's a tomato gonna make you a sandwich? He's got no arms."
BoJack Horseman
"But I don't even know why I'm doing it. Does any of it matter?"
BoJack Horseman
"I'm good at driving sober, but I don't relish the opportunity."
BoJack Horseman
"But what else would I do? Who else would I be?"
BoJack Horseman
"Which is never enough. I'm sorry."
BoJack Horseman
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