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Clips from NewsRadio - Pure Evil (S04E04)

"You took a date to my apartment?"
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"I'm off to work, so are you up?"
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"Yes, I'm up. Okay."
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"Are you sure you're up?"
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"Okay, you're on your own today."
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"Then I actually overheard some people on the subway this morning..."
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"No. He was already a monster."
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"You've just made him a very popular monster."
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"- Friday. - T.G.I.F. Am I right, or what?"
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"What you have wrought has made Bill a national celebrity, you sneaky little genius you."
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"I do it for the American people."
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"And I'm sure they appreciate it, Mr. McNeal, but--"
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"And, so, members of the United States Senate,"
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"I refuse to let my gaping maw be shut."
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"I'd like to read a brief letter from the president."
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"Okay. Good job, Lisa!"
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"Thank you, sir. Mm-hmm."
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"Anyway, first of all, even though Bill is still in Washington..."
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"insulting the president on national television--"
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"I'd like to congratulate him and Dave for bringing us our highest ratings since 1987."
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"I'd also like to thank all of you for your patience as I adjust to this new position."
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"I know I haven't been doing a very good job... so far,"
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"but, um, anyway--"
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"- What does that mean? - It's-- It's not true."
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"without having to listen to your sarcastic comments."
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"and turning myself into Baba Booey Jr.!"
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"Whoa. What was that all about?"
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"Yeah, yeah. Sincerely evil."
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"I mean, how could you? I'm on a riverboat in Burma."
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"You are a good boss."
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"A good, scary boss who yells at people who are trying to be nice to her."
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"I know. I know. But you're doin' such a great job with the new one."
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"Yeah, it is, because the ratings are good."
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"And if the ratings are good, the boss is happy."
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"And if Lisa's happy, I'm happy."
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"Hey, Bill, what's up? This is Cindy. She wants to know if she can get an autograph."
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"Why, it'd be my pleasure, Cindy."
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"Could you sign it on my breast?"
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"I don't know if I can--"
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"[ As Clinton ] but maybe Bill Clinton could give it a shot."
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"Come on."
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"Ooh, hello. Oh, hey."
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"Hey, I-- I didn't expect to see you here."
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"You know, you're doin' a job... good. Good job, and, uh--"
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"Yeah, I wish it was still my job, but it's, you know-- it's not, so there you go."
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"I will. I will. If you will. Good."
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"This is nice, Dave-- you and me talky, talky, talky."
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"Sorry."
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"Well,"
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"Good night, Dave."
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"Good night."
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"Well, you know, the old Dave would be fine, yes."
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"The-The well-meaning, even-tempered, easygoing Dave-- He'd be fine with this."
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"But I'm not fine with it. You know why?"
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"Pure evilness. Yeah."
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"I'd love to chat, but I'm gonna be late for work if I don't get a move on, so--"
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"Well, it's a terrible idea. Isn't it?"
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"Yes, you will single-handedly bear the blame for the great nude looting epidemic of '97."
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"But I just can't seem to control him. [ Coughs ] Evil."
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"[ Clicks Off ]"
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"You're gonna knock 'em dead today. I know."
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"We have a lot of business to discuss today, so, um-- What's this?"
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"Hey, you're a regular little Marcia Stewart."
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"Don't even say it. Say what?"
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"Lisey."
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"Oh, thanks. What day is it?"
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"And when I parody the president,"
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"Dave, are you listening? Whatever. Mm-hmm."
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"Unlike you, I am trying to do it without completely abandoning my sense of integrity..."
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"You've just turned totally and completely evil, haven't you?"
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"Uh, well, you know-- Dave. I don't wanna--"
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"Yeah. Normal people talky."
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"But it's a good start though. Aah."
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"Hmm."
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"[ Whispers, Indistinct ]"
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"- I didn't know you knew how to bake. - Well, I didn't."
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"Yes, I did, and thank you, and let's just leave it at that."
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"No. You have to."
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"[ No Audible Dialogue ]"
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"So, you know, take good care of it."
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"Are you okay? I'm okay."
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"I'm sorry."
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"[ Inhales, Gulps ]"
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"Hmm, you go."
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"Or that Lisa's the boss and that you're Bill's producer."
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"- Pure evil? - Pure... evil."
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""Coeds, hippies, Levittown, teetotalers, Sputnik,"
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"I mean, that wouldn't be fair. It's not her fault."
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"who fake interviews with the president for sensationalistic value."
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"She even infused the meringue with an insouciant hint of lemon zest."
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"What the hell do you do here again?"
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"Yes, exactly. I mean, I can't take that kind of responsibility."
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"Oh, wow! Everybody, just dig in."
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"All right, everyone. The excitement's over."
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""but I want you to remember one thing--"
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"Beth!"
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"That was a dream."
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"- What are you doing here? - Well, I was sleeping."
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"No, he didn't."
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"What the hell is he doing in there?"
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"Okay, listen, everybody. Lisa's gonna be out in a second."
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"The floor is yours, boss."
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"A priest, rabbi and an astronaut are all on a life raft, and they only got one sandwich."
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"♪ [ Bugle: Reveille ]"
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"It's just some snacks I brought in for you guys, so just--"
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"Okay, this is what I call "Trying too hard to look like you're not trying too hard.""
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"- What time is it? - 80:30."
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"Kinda makes me wish I was here to enjoy this."
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"I'll say."
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"What have I wrought? Yeah."
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"I stand before you today and say I refuse to be censored."
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"And to prove that I do not stand here alone,"
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"That's not true."
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"- What are you doing up? - Playing computer solitaire."
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"But I'm not gonna remember any of this tomorrow. Me neither."
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