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Clips from NewsRadio - Pure Evil (S04E04)

"Well, you keep at it. I'm sure you'll get it. Thanks."
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"No."
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"Yes, yes, yes!"
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"All right. Come on! Come on!"
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"What time is it?"
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"Matthew."
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"[ Sighs ] You're right. I don't work here."
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"I live here."
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"I guess since you're the new boss, it's time you knew."
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"After I got fired, I got kicked out of my apartment."
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"Dave told me that I could stay here till I found a new place."
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"Matthew. Yeah. What is it?"
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"- Aren't you gonna get dressed? - No, I usually do that in the elevator on the way down."
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"[ Impersonating Bill Clinton ] Well, I'd just like to say--"
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"[ As Clinton ] Mr. McNeal, I wish I had a response to that."
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"You win. You got me."
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"[ As Himself ] Thank you, sir."
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"Oh, it's a new segment called "Bill McNeal's Hypothetical Interviews.""
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"What kind of a producer would let Bill make a fool of himself like that?"
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"Someone who shouldn't be Bill's producer. Uh-huh."
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"as he once was and so shall be again."
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"- Well, then who'll produce Bill's show? - Lisa."
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"Why get someone new when you have a perfectly good candidate right under your nose, hmm?"
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"- Are you okay? - I haven't been sleeping well lately."
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"Are you ready for your first staff meeting, boss?"
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"Yes, I am. Could you please assemble the staff?"
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"- What are you talking about? - I've seen all those charts and diagrams on your desk."
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"Sure, it works on paper, but what if I'm not the perfect boss?"
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"I mean, what if nobody listens to me the way they used to listen to Dave?"
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"Actually, I never really listened to Dave."
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"Well, me neither."
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"And then everybody in the office decides they don't have to do what I say."
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"Anarchy sweeps the nation, and millions of people are running around nude, looting stuff?"
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"One week. That's it?"
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"You know what? Don't even think about that."
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"Focus on today, because today's gonna set the tone for the rest of the week."
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"- What if today doesn't go well? - Don't even think about that."
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"- What if the staff meeting doesn't go well? - Don't even think about that."
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"- Just focus on the first part of the staff meeting. - Oh, I see."
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"So if the first thing I say at the first staff meeting isn't perfect--"
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"Now, Mr. President, I'm sure a lot of people think this is just some radio shtick..."
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"with a guy imitating your voice, but--"
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"[ As Clinton ] I wish it were, Bill, but it isn't."
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"It's really me, and I just wish I had what it takes to match wits with you."
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"[ As Himself ] Oh, come now, sir."
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"[ As Clinton ] Let's face it, Bill. I am your bitch."
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"Is that a good idea? No, sir. It's a terrible idea."
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"Dave, I understand it's funny as all get out, but is it even legal?"
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"Probably not. Oh, I see. Fine."
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"So you two are just breakin' all the rules, aren't ya?"
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"In fact, I don't know who you are."
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"Sir, I-- I don't know you. I'm a stranger."
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"[ Gasps ] A joke! That's a great idea."
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"swinging singles, Polish jokes.""
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"How old is that book anyway?"
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"Um, it was published in 1967. It was my dad's."
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"Whoa, that's cool. That's cool. My dad was a bigot too."
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"This is her first meeting as the boss, so let's give her a nice, warm reception."
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"Okeydoke. Go, Lisa, go!"
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"- Okay, well, not that warm. - Sorry."
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"Good morning, everybody. Good morning."
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"Lisa, if you don't say anything, it's kinda hard for me to contradict you, so--"
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"Dave, we're tryin' to have a meeting! Whoa!"
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"So why don't we just get on with the staff meeting?"
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"[ Hoarsely ] A priest, a rabbi--"
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"[ Dave ] Huh? [ Sighs ]"
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"I know that one. All right."
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"[ Man's Voice ] Wake up! Rise and shine!"
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"Time sure flies, doesn't it, roomie?"
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"Matthew, what did I tell you about sleeping in the office?"
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"Well, did you ask Dave about it? Well, no."
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"I mean, Dave and I aren't actually speaking right now."
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"But-- [ Gargles, Spits ]"
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"Hey, Beth. Matthew, my desk is not your clothes hamper."
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"Are you relaxed? I'm relaxed."
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"How? I brought snacks."
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"Coming up after the break,"
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"the White House issues a strong statement..."
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"condemning so-called radio shock jocks..."
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"Ah. I don't know what you're talkin' about, because I'm not involved,"
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"Good morning, everyone. Good morning."
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"Oh. I almost forgot."
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"Anyway, I think we need to discuss the drive-time schedule."
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"- This must have cost a fortune. - No, no. I baked 'em myself. Anyway--"
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"Last night I bought six or seven books about baking..."
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"and synthesized the relevant information and perfected the recipes through trial and error."
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"Screw drive time. Somebody give me a fork."
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"Did you bake these yourself? I wanted them to come out perfect."
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"Well, what am I supposed to do, not try? Yes!"
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"What the hell are you doin' wastin' your time here bein' the, uh-- the--"
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""Fun is fun, but certain radio shock jocks have gone too far..."
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"in lampooning our nation's highest office.""
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"[ Phone Rings ] Excuse me a minute. Yello!"
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"[ As Clinton ] Hi, Bill. It's me, the president of the United States."
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"[ As Himself ] Oh, hi, Mr. President. I hear you're upset with me."
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"[ As Clinton ] Oh, I could never be upset with you, Bill."
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"In fact, I was just sittin' here in the Oval Office-- completely nude, of course--"
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"I'm gonna have to make some serious changes around here."
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"Well, sir, I try and I try, but--"
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"I was just going to ask how you could possibly break up with a woman..."
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"who makes such exquisite cakes!"
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"Mmm. That is good. Is that lemon zest?"
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"Matthew, it's time to get up."
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"I've given you five more minutes at least seven times."
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"Now come on. Get up. I need my office. [ Groans ]"
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"[ Sighs ]"
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"Why did we go to Hawaii together?"
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"Joining us in the studio today is my special guest,"
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"Secret Service Agent Ed Clooney."
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"So, Ed, is the president really mad at me?"
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"[ As Himself ] Oh, you wouldn't do that, would you?"
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"Now, I understand that 95% of the men in the Secret Service are gay."
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"- Okay, they're ready for the staff meeting. - Cancel it."
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"You're the boss. You have to go out there. No."
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"That's a good start. Let's go."
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"Beth, I'm not goin' out there. Beth, I'm not goin' out there!"
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"Risey shiny!"
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"Thank you for letting me use your apartment last night, by the way."
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"- You slept in my apartment? - Yeah."
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"I mean, you slept here, so I assumed that's what you wanted me to do."
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