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Clips from The Golden Girls - Transplant (S01E01)

"- You gonna give it to her or not? - Sophia."
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"It's a big decision, Sophia. She's got to think about it."
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"She's family. If you can't count on family, who the hell can you count on?"
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"She's Italian."
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"I'll understand, you know, if you decide not to."
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"Charmaine's kidneys are attached to each other."
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"It's like having one big kidney, and you can't separate 'em."
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"I know. She never could help Mama because she had heart flutters,"
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"and she never could take gym class, no, because she had a tipped uterus,"
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"and she never did any housework because she had a spastic colon."
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"Now, she has attached kidneys."
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"That girl is some kind of mutant."
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"I'd give you one of my kidneys, but I'm sure you'd rather have one you can control."
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"- Thank you, Sophia. - Welcome."
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"Look, if you decide not to, I'll understand. I swear."
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"Sure, you'll be dead. And everybody will say Blanche killed her."
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"Are you saying you don't know if you'd give me a kidney?"
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"Besides, I'm a size eight - your kidney wouldn't fit me."
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"There's not room in my body for your kidney."
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"Well, I guess I'd better be going, and if you decide to go ahead with it,"
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"I'll see you in Atlanta in a few days."
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"- Are you scared? - Terrified."
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"- I guess anybody would be. - I guess."
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"Thank you. Bye."
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"The doctor says it's the first time he'd ever been called"
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"because a baby was sleeping in the day. And then I think he called me an idiot."
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"- Well, I went in once. - Why?"
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"At first."
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"This has got to stop. No wonder that baby didn't sleep."
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"He wasn't the only one who was up all night."
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"- You were too? - Yes."
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"- I had time to do a lot of thinking. - And?"
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"- And of course I'm gonna do it. - Aw, Blanche, you're a brave lady."
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"- Oh, you really are, honey. - No, I have to."
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"I don't want my sister to die. I want her to live."
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"And not just for her, for me. I wanna get to know her like a grownup."
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"Well, I want us to have a chance to be friends, sisters."
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"After all, she's the only family I have."
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"I thought you had a sister, Charmaine."
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"Oh, you can't count her!"
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"Why, she's an awful, selfish, neurotic woman"
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"who made me and Virginia miserable our entire lives."
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"Goodbye, pussycat. Goodbye, little fella."
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"What are you carrying on? It's like talking to a salami."
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"- Say bye-zee-bye! - Bye, darling."
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"I'm worried about Blanche. I wish she'd let one of us go with her."
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"Not me. I hate hospitals."
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"My friend Matty Fishbein went into the hospital a healthy guy."
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"Then boom, boom - dead, just like that, in his sleep."
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"I don't like hospitals either. They're full of germs."
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"I always hold my breath in the elevators"
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"Once, I had to go to the eighth floor in a hospital,"
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"And I finally fainted and I hit my head"
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"and I had to stay there because I had a concussion,"
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"in the elevator to the emergency room."
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"Then I had to hold my breath in the x-ray,"
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"where they ask you to hold your breath anyway. And then after..."
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"I have great news."
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"Rose, excuse me. We'll get back to your fascinating hospital story later."
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"Ted and Lucy said that we could have the baby again next month"
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"Oh, I'm so excited."
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"Hello, everybody."
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"Blanche, what are you doing here? Is something wrong?"
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"I mean, we didn't expect you back so soon."
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"Oh, the best possible thing has happened."
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"I still have both my kidneys and my sister's fine."
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"They couldn't use my kidney - my blood vessels were too small."
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"Of course they're too small. I've always been very petite."
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"Blanche, Virginia."
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"Oh, the most wonderful thing happened. They found a donor, an excellent match."
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"She was a retired Mormon schoolteacher."
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"Virginia's so lucky!"
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"Oh, I'll say. That kidney was showroom-new."
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"Why, the wildest thing that ever passed through there was Ovaltine."
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"But the best part of it was"
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"Wherever she goes, she finds a man!"
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"So do hookers."
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"All that time we wasted hating each other from when we were kids."
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"Now we're getting to know each other, and I just love her."
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"I finally have a sister to love."
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"Isn't it funny? Sometimes you have to almost lose somebody"
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"before you realize how much they really mean to you."
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"Let's fly to Freeport and gamble all night."
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"Let's drive to Disney World and ride the Teacups!"
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"Oh, too wild, Rose."
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"where you can pick up over-the-hill astronauts."
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"Or... there's some Rocky Road in the freezer."
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"Hey, great!"
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"I despise her."
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"I never saw my mama and daddy again."
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"They never looked at me again, Rose."
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"Oh, yes. It was the day before Christmas and we were playing"
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"Making fun of you? Honey, I was complimenting you."
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"I haven't lost that much. I don't think that's happened yet."
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"Sure, whatever."
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"Oh. I thought I gave it to them for colic."
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"Disposable bottles and formula."
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"They're still at the hospital. It's taking a little longer than they thought."
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"- Let's make a toast. - With water?"
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"We never held a real conversation our entire lives."
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"Blanche, that was over 40 years ago."
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"- What are you gonna do? - I don't know."
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"I need both my kidneys. You know what'll happen if I give her one?"
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"What does it mean - a little less bourbon?"
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"You were always closer to Charmaine."
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"Blanche, whatever happens..."
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"...I love you."
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"He sleeps in the day because he has four women who won't let him sleep at night."
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"'cause there are sick people in the elevators and it's such a small space."
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"Ma, we can't afford it."
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"and she jiggled the tree and the star fell off and broke."
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"I swear I didn't think that you liked him at all."
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"Well, he has to leave. I'll be right back."
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"He wanted to come home from school at lunchtime."
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"What I'm trying to say is it's a terrible choice I've given you."
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"- You look like you lost weight, sugar. - I have."
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"And what if I give her my kidney"
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"Why you're looking so much older than I am."
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"- What do you mean? - Well, it's the reason I'm here."
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"Does she eat them?"
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