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Clips from The Golden Girls - Transplant (S01E01)

"Your heart is true"
The Golden Girls
"And the card attached would say"
The Golden Girls
""Thank you for being a friend""
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"Well, do it again."
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"That'd kill my sister."
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"Because she made me and my big sister Charmaine miserable our entire lives."
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"You never heard of anybody hating their sister?"
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"Don't sit! Don't sit!"
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"It's Lucy and Ted's baby."
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"Oochie-oochie-boo-boo."
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"I just hope it doesn't make a fuss when my sister's here."
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"She was the adorable one, the gorgeous one, the brilliant one."
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"She used to bite herself on the arm and then run crying to Daddy"
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"Then she plugged it in."
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"And wham! My eyes bugged out, my hair shot straight up."
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"Then she ran to Daddy and told him I'd broken the star"
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"and told me that the baby Jesus was mad at me for ruining his birthday."
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"That darn electricity straightened my hair."
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"I used to have curly hair."
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"Oh, you know very well how you said "lovely. ""
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"You said "lovely" the same way you say "lovely" to a date"
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"I guess maybe I just didn't think you'd recognize good taste."
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"You know, this house was done by Nancy Reagan's decorator."
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"But never mind about that. Let's talk about you."
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"Is that so? Well, just let me tell you something!"
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"- You give them brandy. - For colic?"
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"Mm. Remember when we had to use cotton and fish ointment?"
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"- Blanche, your sister seemed very nice. - She was nicer than she's ever been."
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"- To sisters. - That's very sweet, Virginia."
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"What is it with you? You just step on any kind of tender moment."
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"Oh, tender moment, my foot."
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"What did I take? A couple of cashmere sweaters and a poodle skirt?"
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"I had to stand there and watch you marry Tom."
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"Would it help you to know that Tom fooled around?"
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"What goes around, comes around."
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"These are Fritos. You want me to swallow them whole?"
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"- What about Virginia? - Well..."
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"- Shh-shh-shh-shh. - Is he asleep?"
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"- You need any help? - No."
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"Your kidney?"
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"- I need something to eat. - Didn't you just have dinner?"
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"My ankles will swell, my eyes will puff up. I'll look just like the Pillsbury Doughboy."
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"You could've had him fixed."
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"Blanche, I know you need some time to think it over."
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"How come you didn't ask Charmaine for her kidney?"
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"- What do you mean, attached? - The two are joined."
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"Leave it to Charmaine."
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"I don't even know what I would do under the same circumstances."
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"No, I don't."
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"Well, I'm not surprised. You never even lent me a Kleenex."
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"I gotta go pack."
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"You be good now."
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"98 years old. No apparent cause."
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"and I had to hold my breath all the way down"
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"- when they go away for a weekend. - Oh, that's wonderful."
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"Blanche, how is that possible?"
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"that hunk of a doctor who examined me - he's gonna be in Florida in a few weeks."
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"But the most wonderful thing about all this is Virginia and me."
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"Let's go out and celebrate life. Let's go out and do something crazy!"
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"Hey, I know a bar over in Coco Beach"
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"Ow!"
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"Thank you for being a friend"
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"Traveled down the road and back again"
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"You're a pal and a confidante"
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"And if you threw a party"
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"Invited everyone you knew"
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"You would see the biggest gift would be from me"
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"Oh, it's a mess! This place is just a mess!"
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"Rose, what am I gonna do? She's gonna be here any minute."
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"- This place is a pigsty! - Oh, Blanche, it looks gorgeous."
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"Don't sit! I just fluffed!"
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"- Honey, dust the table. - I just did."
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"God, I wish she wasn't coming. I just hate her."
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"I can't believe you hate your sister."
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"Oh, I wish I'd gotten a decorator. Nancy Reagan's decorator."
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"She's your sister. How can you hate your sister?"
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"I never heard of such a thing."
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"Never. Maybe it's Southern."
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"Sleeping with your brothers is Southern."
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"Dust, Rose, dust! We're running out of time."
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"Sophia... if you hated your sister, would you clean the house?"
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"I'd put Vaseline on the tips of her walker."
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"Everybody, look what I have."
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"- Where did you find? - Oh!"
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"- Oh, what is our name? - This is Danny."
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"- Dorothy, what in the world is that? - It's a flounder, Blanche."
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"- What do you think it is? - What's that baby doing here?"
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"Ted had a little accident waterskiing, and Lucy's taking him to the hospital."
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"Now, we cannot have a baby in this house. My sister's coming."
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"I have cleaned this house from top to bottom."
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"I have killed myself for two days. Babies make a mess."
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"In diapers. And unless we use them as placemats, your sister will never know."
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"- Oh, Lord. - Boochie-boochie-boo."
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"Finally - someone she can talk to."
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"- I thought you hate this sister. - I do."
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"I'm gonna put him to bed. Ma, the ba-bas."
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"Why do you hate your sister? That's what I wanna know."
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"Because when she was born, I ceased to exist."
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"Where did they go?"
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"She sat in my daddy's lap for 16 years."
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"Oh, and she was hateful. You know what she used to do?"
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"that I had done it and he'd punish me."
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"Oh, she got me in trouble all the time. Daddy used to call me the bad seed."
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"- Once, she even electrocuted me. - Oh, no!"
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"So she told me to pick it up and put it on my finger."
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"And I did."
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"I did a crazy rubber dance all over the room."
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"I'm sure my heart stopped beating for a minute."
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"and almost electrocuted her."
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"And he sent me to my room for all of Christmas Eve..."
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"- Blanche, that's horrible. - And that's not the worst part."
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"That was a lovely lunch, Blanche."
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"A lovely lunch in a lovely house with your lovely friends."
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"Stop making fun of me, Virginia."
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"- I heard the way you said "lovely. " - How did I say "lovely"?"
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"who's just shown up in a light-blue tuxedo."
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"Well, I meant "lovely" no matter how it came out."
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"- Really? - Yes."
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"Hm. You know, at your age, when you lose weight, your skin just hangs there."
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"Like leaves on a willow."
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