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Clips from Jon Benjamin Has a Van - Smoking (S01E01)

"From our intrepid undercover reporter."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Uh, i'm not sure."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I don't know if it's mozzarella or..."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- He did?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Um, he has a pipe in his mouth."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- I didn't know you smoked a pipe."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Did jesus smoke a pipe?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"The cloth draping that wrapped the body of jesus"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"For me to actually own a pipe that jesus himself smoked from,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I couldn't pass that up."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- You don't smoke."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Well, that's ridiculous."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Look, you're not my dad or my step-Dad, all right?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- People smoke because they want,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"You got burned."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"From the corner with your helmet on."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"You're on the show you got burned."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"And you got burned. See that camera?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Exactly, the whole way-"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Hey, man, you got a light?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Hi."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- I like this attitude."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- It's all right. I'll see you later."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- The answer is yes."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Hey, man, you got a light?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"You're a pro."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Wow."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Yes. Loving it."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Beautiful."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Cigarette?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- No. - Yes."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Okay."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Oh, right."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"They're more interesting than you."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Are you still smoking?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Um, are you still wearing cologne?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I'm doing it right now, actually,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Don't lecture me, dave, okay?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"To know exactly when the world will end."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- You have a mole."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Ohh! Switch!"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"None of which- - All right, look,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"And also, you're invited to our celebration,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"And moving on to the next platform,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"No, we all go through life with selfish desires,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- It's not me this time, jon!"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Tonight on jon benjamin has a van..."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"This reverend claims to know exactly when the world will end,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"And it's sooner than you think."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"You'll never guess who smoked this pipe."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Plus, a special report"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"All this and more"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"On tonight's jon benjamin has a van."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Christianity is the world's largest religion."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Here in america, over 76% of the population"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Are avowedly christian,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"But within christianity, there are many different sects,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Each with their own distinct and unique set"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Of rituals and beliefs."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Hi."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Either don't have or choose not to acknowledge,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"And that's what sets us apart."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"We not only believe that jesus is the son of god,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"But we believe that he smoked a pipe."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Oh, yes."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Mm-Hmm."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- So how do you know that jesus smoked a pipe?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Perhaps this video will better explain."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Still using a vhs."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Mm-Hm-Hm-Hm."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"If you're watching this right now,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"You've probably just asked..."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"The answer is yes."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"How do we know this?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Perhaps this video will better explain."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Bethlehem- The year, 25 a. D."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"It is here on this most hallowed of land"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"That a young jesus of nazareth"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Lived, studied, and smoked his pipe."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Good morning, jesus."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Good morning, eric."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Indeed, i do, eric."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Indeed, i do."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Here we are with dr. Emil bronnard,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Who has authenticated over 700 religious artifacts,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Including the only pipes"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Known to have been smoked by jesus."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Doctor, tell us right now."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Well, there is much evidence"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Pointing to the fact that jesus smoked a pipe,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"But the most penetrating evidence is the shroud."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- The shroud?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Yes, the shroud."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"When he was buried."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"As you can see from the imprint,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"It's quite clear that he smoked a pipe."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Currently, there are only two surviving pipes of christ"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Known to be in existence."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"One is in an abbey in genoa, italy."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"The other pipe is here"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"In the guitarist from metallica's house."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"That jesus christ smoked a pipe."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"And when the opportunity arose"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- So now that you believe jesus smoked a pipe,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Join us in the blessed sacrament that is"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"The church of the pipe of christ."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- What?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- You're smoking?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Good guess."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Can you put that out?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Nathan, shut up."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Well, i do now."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- When did you start smoking?"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- This is my first one."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"You're 45. No one starts smoking at 45."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"So i'll do as i please,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"And you can't tell me what to do."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"I'm smoking."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"Like, a penis in their mouth."
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
"- Well, i didn't need to hear that,"
Jon Benjamin Has a Van
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