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Clips from Cheers - Friends, Romans, and Accountants (S01E01)

Diane. Do me a favour. Pour Mischa there a real quick beer.

"Diane. Do me a favour. Pour Mischa there a real quick beer."

Cheers

Coming right up, Mischa.

"Coming right up, Mischa."

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Fascinating. OK, that's 1 .25 out of a 20. 1 .50, 1 .75,

"Fascinating. OK, that's 1 .25 out of a 20. 1 .50, 1 .75,"

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Musicians are very temperamental.

"Musicians are very temperamental."

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- Today l volunteered for something. - What?

"- Today l volunteered for something. - What?"

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- Yeah? - Guess who's party director.

"- Yeah? - Guess who's party director."

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Gee, l should've taken more time.

"Gee, l should've taken more time."

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Probably.

"Probably."

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That's what l thought.

"That's what l thought."

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Their lives are incredibly dull all week long.

"Their lives are incredibly dull all week long."

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l gotta do something special to turn them on, wake 'em up.

"l gotta do something special to turn them on, wake 'em up."

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- What? - The latest craze in California.

"- What? - The latest craze in California."

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You know, Weirdo Central.

"You know, Weirdo Central."

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find the biggest mistakes, Xerox them and pass them around.

"find the biggest mistakes, Xerox them and pass them around."

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Perhaps l can give you an idea that you could actually use.

"Perhaps l can give you an idea that you could actually use."

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to reveal the depths of their personalities.

"to reveal the depths of their personalities."

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l should go home, close myself off and work out all the details.

"l should go home, close myself off and work out all the details."

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l thought it mean to be a toga party.

"l thought it mean to be a toga party."

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Diane. The gang in the back ready for another order?

"Diane. The gang in the back ready for another order?"

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lt's been an hour and a half. Are they watching their ice melt?

"lt's been an hour and a half. Are they watching their ice melt?"

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ln my desk you'll find two tassels and a G-string.

"ln my desk you'll find two tassels and a G-string."

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l'll hum Night Train...

"l'll hum Night Train..."

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- Come on. - Get out.

"- Come on. - Get out."

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Let the games begin!

"Let the games begin!"

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Well, you all got the date right so I know you can read.

"Well, you all got the date right so I know you can read."

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Nobody's moved for an hour and a half.

"Nobody's moved for an hour and a half."

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You try flagging down help dressed like this.

"You try flagging down help dressed like this."

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Where's your wife? Why isn't she at the party?

"Where's your wife? Why isn't she at the party?"

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She didn't hear about it.

"She didn't hear about it."

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Everybody. How about a round of that always enjoyable game, charades?

"Everybody. How about a round of that always enjoyable game, charades?"

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First word.

"First word."

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Dinner! My Dinner...

"Dinner! My Dinner..."

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W. Begins with a W. Little word. With! My Dinner With...

"W. Begins with a W. Little word. With! My Dinner With..."

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That's it.

"That's it."

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l got four kids. l'm not looking for more.

"l got four kids. l'm not looking for more."

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- You needn't have sex with him. - Doesn't matter. l'm a fast breeder.

"- You needn't have sex with him. - Doesn't matter. l'm a fast breeder."

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Does anybody need anything?

"Does anybody need anything?"

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Though if you do, l'll drive.

"Though if you do, l'll drive."

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l'm joking around.

"l'm joking around."

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Sam?

"Sam?"

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lt's easy for you two to talk. Diane's attractive, she's got brains.

"lt's easy for you two to talk. Diane's attractive, she's got brains."

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You sit down with some old guy, you have a drink, he'll fall asleep.

"You sit down with some old guy, you have a drink, he'll fall asleep."

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Come on down here, l'll show you a seat.

"Come on down here, l'll show you a seat."

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Scotch rocks.

"Scotch rocks."

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Barkeep, a little service, please.

"Barkeep, a little service, please."

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l guess working in a bar makes you grumpy.

"l guess working in a bar makes you grumpy."

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Good evening! We're Eddie Barnett and the Eddie Barnetters.

"Good evening! We're Eddie Barnett and the Eddie Barnetters."

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- So you're an art student? - Yes.

"- So you're an art student? - Yes."

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l must say, it is so refreshing to meet someone like you.

"l must say, it is so refreshing to meet someone like you."

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- To a sparkling conversationalist. - Thank you.

"- To a sparkling conversationalist. - Thank you."

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- l'll take it back. - No, l know the bartender.

"- l'll take it back. - No, l know the bartender."

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- You sure? - Yes, l'll be right back.

"- You sure? - Yes, l'll be right back."

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You're not bothered that l'm spending time with Herb?

"You're not bothered that l'm spending time with Herb?"

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Looks a little seamy but seaminess has its place.

"Looks a little seamy but seaminess has its place."

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l felt something kick.

"l felt something kick."

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lt's strange, getting that reaction from people.

"lt's strange, getting that reaction from people."

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You're really sickening tonight.

"You're really sickening tonight."

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l know, Sam. l'm not proud of myself.

"l know, Sam. l'm not proud of myself."

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But then, l never am.

"But then, l never am."

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Just put your left hand down, like that.

"Just put your left hand down, like that."

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You know, l don't believe in mauling on the first date.

"You know, l don't believe in mauling on the first date."

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- l didn't come to hear the band. - We were having a nice conversation.

"- l didn't come to hear the band. - We were having a nice conversation."

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Mr Sawyer!

"Mr Sawyer!"

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- This is a big mistake. - Sorry, sir. l know, sir.

"- This is a big mistake. - Sorry, sir. l know, sir."

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- Clean out your desk. You're fired! - l figured.

"- Clean out your desk. You're fired! - l figured."

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No.

"No."

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- Actually, l feel kind of... - Cheap?

"- Actually, l feel kind of... - Cheap?"

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Alright, yes, l feel cheap.

"Alright, yes, l feel cheap."

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Totally sacrificing my dignity and pride.

"Totally sacrificing my dignity and pride."

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before you made a living with your body.

"before you made a living with your body."

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Fired me, Coach.

"Fired me, Coach."

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You know something?

"You know something?"

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l may not have a job. l may not have a future.

"l may not have a job. l may not have a future."

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Gee, l'm sorry, Norm.

"Gee, l'm sorry, Norm."

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- l just pushed him around. - Way to go, Peterson.

"- l just pushed him around. - Way to go, Peterson."

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Sam, what is he doing with his hand?

"Sam, what is he doing with his hand?"

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He plays cymbals for the Symphony. They're in the middle of a concert.

"He plays cymbals for the Symphony. They're in the middle of a concert."

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He's counting out a long rest so he knows exactly when to get back.

"He's counting out a long rest so he knows exactly when to get back."

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- Afternoon, everybody. - Norm!

"- Afternoon, everybody. - Norm!"

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Norman.

"Norman."

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- How's life, Norm? - Not for the squeamish, Coach.

"- How's life, Norm? - Not for the squeamish, Coach."

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Let me guess. l'm good at guessing.

"Let me guess. l'm good at guessing."

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Julius LaRosa?

"Julius LaRosa?"

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- How come you volunteered? - To make points with the big boss.

"- How come you volunteered? - To make points with the big boss."

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Last year, some nobody named Jensen threw a luau in the parking lot.

"Last year, some nobody named Jensen threw a luau in the parking lot."

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What are you so upset about? lt sounds like a great opportunity.

"What are you so upset about? lt sounds like a great opportunity."

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But after l volunteered, l realised l never threw a party.

"But after l volunteered, l realised l never threw a party."

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l killed a few.

"l killed a few."

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What's the big deal? You want excitement,

"What's the big deal? You want excitement,"

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lf you want to save money, get Carla to do it.

"lf you want to save money, get Carla to do it."

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You don't understand. We're talking about 1 00 accountants.

"You don't understand. We're talking about 1 00 accountants."

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The best party l was ever at was in a locker room.

"The best party l was ever at was in a locker room."

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We were all in our underwear, pouring champagne on each other.

"We were all in our underwear, pouring champagne on each other."

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Guys flinging guys into showers. lt was terrific.

"Guys flinging guys into showers. lt was terrific."

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That was after we'd won the division championship.

"That was after we'd won the division championship."

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- That's why we were in Cleveland. - Right.

"- That's why we were in Cleveland. - Right."

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Norm, l've got a great idea. Have yourself a hot-tub party.

"Norm, l've got a great idea. Have yourself a hot-tub party."

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Today l delivered two copies of Star Parade magazine.

"Today l delivered two copies of Star Parade magazine."

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- Guess who's on the cover in a tub? - Julius LaRosa?

"- Guess who's on the cover in a tub? - Julius LaRosa?"

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No, Burt Reynolds.

"No, Burt Reynolds."

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l used to be so good at this game.

"l used to be so good at this game."

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We're talking monster laughs.

"We're talking monster laughs."

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You're a maniac, Normie.

"You're a maniac, Normie."

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l think parties are the most fun

"l think parties are the most fun"

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when you can shed your everyday mundane identity and be someone else.

"when you can shed your everyday mundane identity and be someone else."

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where everyone came as their favourite Elizabethan poet.

"where everyone came as their favourite Elizabethan poet."

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l was deeply into Dr Faustus at the time.

"l was deeply into Dr Faustus at the time."

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But l still get letters from people who loved it.

"But l still get letters from people who loved it."

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Say, didn't we used to have a weekly Elizabethan Poet Night?

"Say, didn't we used to have a weekly Elizabethan Poet Night?"

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You were charged with practising iambic pentameter without a licence.

"You were charged with practising iambic pentameter without a licence."

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and the butt of jokes, l should make more money.

"and the butt of jokes, l should make more money."

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What does a good butt make in this town?

"What does a good butt make in this town?"

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ln keeping with the spirit of this establishment, and its patrons,

"ln keeping with the spirit of this establishment, and its patrons,"

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l suggest you get down in the mud and throw a toga party.

"l suggest you get down in the mud and throw a toga party."

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A toga party? Where they dress up in sheets?

"A toga party? Where they dress up in sheets?"

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l'm sure you'd love it. lt's a stupid fraternity tradition.

"l'm sure you'd love it. lt's a stupid fraternity tradition."

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A bunch of borderline humans stand around

"A bunch of borderline humans stand around"

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swilling beer and vomiting on themselves,

"swilling beer and vomiting on themselves,"

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until, inevitably, they raise their robes

"until, inevitably, they raise their robes"

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l can see it. This'll make that luau look like a pig roast.

"l can see it. This'll make that luau look like a pig roast."

Cheers

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