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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Bat Mitzvah (S06E06)

"( theme music playing )"
Curb Your Enthusiasm
"I FUCKED UP MY LIFE."
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"YOU WERE BUSY WITH THE TIVO GUY."
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"BUSY WITH THE TIVO GUY. YEAH, I WAS BUSY WITH THE TIVO GUY."
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"LISTEN, MAN, YOU'VE GOT TO GET OUT THERE AND DO STUFF."
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"- NOBODY. - Both: YOU'VE GOT TO BRING SOMEBODY."
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"A MUSTACHE, GROW SIDEBURNS. BECOME ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKER, MAN."
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"IT'S NOT BAD ADVICE. BUT ANYTHING TO GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED."
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"OH, NOTHING. JUST A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE."
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"COME ON DOWNSTAIRS, MAN. THE FAMILY WANTS TO TALK TO YOU A LITTLE BIT."
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"- EH, I THINK OKAY. I THINK I'LL BE ALL RIGHT. - GOOD."
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"I'VE GOT A LITTLE BOO DOWN THERE I'MA HOLLA AT."
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"- BUT... - WELL..."
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"- MY GERBIL'S GONE. - Loretta: WHAT?"
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"THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW."
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"BUT I HATE BEING SINGLE. I JUST HATE IT."
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""HEY, I'M IN THE BUILDING. I THOUGHT I'D DROP BY.""
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"- IS THERE ANY WAY YOU CAN JUST GIVE HIM A--? - I'M REALLY NOT..."
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"- YOU'RE NOT TIGHT ANYMORE? - NOT REALLY TIGHT."
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"MY WIFE'S COUSIN KAI-- SHE RUNS THE OFFICE."
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"WHY DID YOU SAY I HAVE A TICKLE IN MY ANUS?"
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"LOOK, I GOTTA GO. I GOTTA GO."
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"- THIS IS SERIOUS, ALL RIGHT? - YEAH, NO."
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"MATT TESSLER JUST ASKED ME"
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"I HAVE A LITTLE PROBLEM WITH THIS--"
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"I IMPROVE THINGS THAT ARE BROKEN."
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"THIS IS BROKEN. THIS SYSTEM IS BROKEN."
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"IT IS CALLED "SHOWBIZ INSIDER.""
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"- REALLY? - I LIKE TO FEEL LIKE AN INSIDER WHEN--"
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"- PRETTY HEADY STUFF. WOW. - YES, VERY HEADY STUFF."
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"YOU MUST BE VERY VERY BRIGHT."
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"YES."
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"YEAH. YOU FROM NEW YORK?"
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"YEAH."
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"AND YOU CAN JUST REALLY READ ME."
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"I READ YOU LOUD AND CLEAR, SISTER."
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"- CHECKUP. - REALLY?"
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"- HOW ABOUT THAT? - LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION:"
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"IT WAS MAGICAL."
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"- HOW WOULD YOU ASSESS IT? - UM..."
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"- 7.5? REALLY? - 7.5, YEAH."
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"- YOU'RE UP. - ALL RIGHT."
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"WELL, THEY HAVE CALLED FOR ME."
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"LARRY?"
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"I GUESS I'LL GO IN FOR MY CHECKUP."
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"SO LONG."
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"THE DOCTOR SHOULD BE IN HERE RIGHT NOW. WE COULD BE SAVING TIME."
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"OKAY, THANK YOU. THE DOCTOR WILL BE RIGHT WITH YOU."
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"FINE. HAPPY?"
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"NO NO NO, I DON'T WANT THAT."
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"- OKAY? - YES."
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"AHA."
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"THE QUESTION IS, WHY WAS SHE AT THAT--"
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"WHY WAS SHE THERE? I DON'T KNOW."
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"JUST DO IT. WHAT, YOU DON'T TRUST ME?"
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"LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION: TESSLER'S STILL ONE OF YOUR CLIENTS?"
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"YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS COMING TO THE BAT MITZVAH?"
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"ANYHOW, HE'S MY CLIENT NOW. HE'S COMING"
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"'CAUSE YOU GOTTA BRING SOMEBODY. CHERYL'S COMING WITH THAT GUY."
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"PERFECT. I CAN CHECK HER OUT."
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"- I WAS BEING NICE. - Women: CENTER'S BETTER."
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"CENTER? WHY? YOU THINK THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE"
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"- OVER THERE FROM HERE? - YES, THIS IS GOOD."
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"Jeff: AS LONG AS A GIANT MAN DOESN'T SIT"
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"- Larry: OH MY GOD. - Paula: WHAT?"
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"WHO WALKED PAST THE LINE TO GET HIS TICKET BEFORE."
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"( whispering ) WHY? WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THAT?"
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"YOU'RE SQUIRMING MORE THAN I AM."
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"WELL, MY SEAT IS UNCOMFORTABLE."
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"YEAH, MY SEAT'S UNCOMFORTABLE TOO."
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"I KNOW. WE'RE IN AGREEMENT."
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"- I WAS THERE FOR A CHECKUP. - A CHECKUP?"
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"WHAT DO YOU GAIN BY STAYING? YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS STORY."
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"I FINISH THINGS I START."
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"YOU'D BETTER GO OUT AFTER HER."
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"- SHE HAS A TICKLE IN HER ANUS? - I THINK SO. SHE WAS SQUIRMING IN HER SEAT."
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"I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT. LET'S GO."
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"YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT MOVIE STUNK, BY THE WAY."
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"SO YOU'RE NOT GONNA GO TO THE BAT MITZVAH?"
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"AND CHERYL'S GONNA BE THERE WITH THIS GUY."
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"- SHE CAN TAKE 'EM OUT. - THEN THERE'S A HOLE IN THE NOSE."
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"WE'LL JUST COVER IT WITH MAKEUP."
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"NO, I DON'T WANT ANYTHING."
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"- Man: THIS IS GREAT. - YEAH, AVAILABLE THE FIRST OF THE MONTH."
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"HI, I'M JUST--"
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"SOMEONE WAS GONNA RENT THE OFFICE NEXT DOOR..."
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"NO NO NO, IT WAS A TEST TO SEE IF HE'S A TOLERANT PERSON."
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"AND ANYONE WHO'S NOT IS NO NEIGHBOR OF MINE."
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"THIS IS WHAT YOU DO? YOU SIT ON YOUR ASS"
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"- UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE. - I WAS JUST, YOU KNOW--"
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"I WOULD RENT AN OFFICE TO YOUR SON."
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"HEY, YOU WANNA HEAR SOMETHING FUNNY?"
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"WHY'D YOU HIRE HIM?"
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"MY FRIEND OF 47 YEARS-- YOU RECOMMENDED HIM."
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"- IS LIFE TOO SHORT? YOU THINK IT'S TOO SHORT? - YEAH."
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"- YEAH. - ...OR ONE OF BEN LADEN'S PEOPLE."
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"THAT'S TRUE. BEN LADEN DOES SOUND"
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"EXACTLY, YEAH. ANYWAY, I'M--"
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"- AND I SAID--- - JESUS,"
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"TO GET BACK AT ME."
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"JESUS CHRIST, DID YOU SEE THE WAY THAT GUY LOOKED AT ME?"
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"HOLY SHIT."
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"HI, CAROL."
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"CAROL,"
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"- IT'S MISSING. AND YOU HEAR THIS SHIT. - LEON!"
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"- ( women exclaiming ) - ADD THIS SHIT UP. ADD THIS SHIT UP."
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"- ( sighs ) - THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT."
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"- HEY, Y'ALL GOT EVERYTHING TOGETHER? - YEAH, WE'RE DONE."
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"- WHEN ARE YOU GOING? - TOMORROW."
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"YOU'RE GONNA MISS US, LARRY."
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"Auntie Rae: WE'RE GONNA MISS YOU TOO, LARRY."
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"ALL RIGHT, DON'T GET MY WATERWORKS GOING HERE."
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"SURE, I'LL GO WITH YOU, L.D."
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"HOW IN THE FUCK COULD MY BEST FRIEND RECOMMEND SUCH AN ASSHOLE?"
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"- WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU DIDN'T LIKE HIM? - ANY NORMAL PERSON"
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"I'VE EVER MET IN MY ENTIRE--"
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"- OH, YOU THINK YOU'RE MORE NORMAL THAN ME? - FUCKIN'-A I AM."
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"I'LL HAVE A MENTAL PATIENT FACE-OFF WITH YOU ANY DAY."
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"- OH, REALLY? - HEY, LARR, DID YOU STICK A GERBIL UP YOUR ASS?"
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"( glass dinging )"
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