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Clips from The Simpsons (1989) - My Way or the Highway to Heaven (S30E30)

"And, Dad, you can just go by Bob Number Two,"
The Simpsons (1989)
"-I am Bob. -Well, yeah, but this is Bob,"
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"¶ ¶"
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"for the baby boomers?"
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"(dramatic piano music plays)"
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"I'm just following the admissions criteria."
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"and Promise Keepers."
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"Frankly, those guys weird me out."
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"Come on, kids, think about it. Why do people get into Heaven?"
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"¶ Heaven ¶"
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"(gasps) Clayton Kersh..."
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"So, rookie, your first day."
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"with Vertebreaker trampolines!"
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"FLANDERS: What those door-to-door ding-dongs"
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"-(radio static crackling) -ASTRONAUT: Whee!"
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"FLANDERS: America caught bounce fever."
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"-Well! -Well, how about that!"
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"If you don't like death, get out of children's toys."
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"YOUNG HOMER (over radio): 412... 413..."
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"(gasps)"
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"Uh, Ned Flanders, you have been a sinner,"
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"Uh, yeah, uh, I meant to,"
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"but, uh, I lost the pick in the hole."
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"It'll be interesting to see which wife he goes with."
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"Oh, and nice to meet you, finally."
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"Well, they do. Maybe they deserve a place here, too."
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"I'd like to talk about someone who should be in Heaven:"
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"Nobody ever talks about that."
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"How do you say "sommelier" in French?"
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"You know, where the invasion's coming."
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"You can drink our beer, you can take our gold,"
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"Nothing. What are you doing here?"
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"Oh. A pony."
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"-seem less than one. -Oh."
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"(snoring)"
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"LISA: So, Siddmartha sat and sat and sat and sat,"
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"¶ Om... ¶"
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"Even though she strayed from our faith, I'm proud of Lisa."
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"CHOIR: ¶ Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah. ¶"
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"-Oh, we consider it a blessing. -GOD: Kiss-up."
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"Shh!"
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"Rats!"
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"-or maybe no name at all. -(Homer whimpering)"
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"Bob Number Two is throwing out some major 'tude right now."
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"HEAVENLY CHOIR: ¶ The Simpsons ¶"
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"MALE VOICE: ¶ In Heaven! ¶"
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"Can't we just tweak them a bit?"
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"All we're getting up here are little old ladies"
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"We've got to get more people in here."
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"Well, nobody said Sunday school kids were geniuses."
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"each job I took became more depraved."
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"¶ Dead end street. ¶"
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"I make my pitch, then I start crying, bawling like a baby."
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"Slices of pie all around, Mabel!"
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"What do they have you pushing, water beds?"
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"to forget the long quagmire that was Gunsmoke."
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"401... 402..."
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"-(camera clicking) -Wow! I knew he could bounce,"
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"(groans)"
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"-Jesus. -'Sup?"
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"and if you accept the word of the Lord-- that's me--"
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"I shall return you to Earth to carry forth my word of hope."
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"Jimi Hendrix is here for your guitar lesson."
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"God is alive!"
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"Well, you know, Lord, if you want more people here,"
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"GOD: People who bring their dogs on planes"
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"I can hear you."
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"Actually, I'm talking about people"
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"Atheists?"
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"¶ He's in the afterlife, punishing heavily ¶"
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"¶ A root, a toot, just don't eat his fruit ¶"
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"(French accent): How could a god allow this awful war to happen?"
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"Well, I've got a screenplay"
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"You don't know the first thing"
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"Café Meaux. Meaux speaking."
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"Pierre Pants? Pierre Pants?!"
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"Now, precisely what part of France are you from?"
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"and everything will be Nietzsche keen."
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"That was a fish?"
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"I'd recommend getting rid of."
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"(Italian accent): Hey, what are you two talking about?"
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"-GOD: Oh, it's him. -Hey, dudes."
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"Now, why don't you consider other faiths for your Heaven?"
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"I say we have Lisa Simpson."
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"with an enlightened tale I call"
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"(elephant trumpeting)"
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"¶ Hear me shout and hear me sing ¶"
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"That Buddhist kid's a really good person."
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"it's that there are many paths to Heaven."
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"I demand to get in on my own merits."
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"-(thunder rumbles) -(boys whimper)"
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"Don't be scared, boys."
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"-Hey, is there someone in the restaurant? -Oh, yeah."
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"No. Don't say that. We're fun to rob."
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"Just go anywhere! I'll clean it up!"
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"Ugh."
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"Tracy, what are you doing here?"
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"Ned Flanders is about to talk about that very topic."
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"¶ The happiness I seek ¶"
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"Rules are for fools, man!"
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"FLANDERS: I've got to stop him!"
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"and as a sign of his mercy, he permanently scarred"
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"my beautiful, beautiful philtrum."
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"GOD: So, Ned Flanders gets into Heaven."
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"-It wasn't me. -Oh, you traitor!"
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"¶ He was born in a barn ¶"
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"¶ Contre nous de la tyrannie ¶"
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"No, you can't!"
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"GOD: All right, I agree."
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"Who wants to rub my belly?"
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"I say no shirt, no shoes, no salvation."
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"What's today, the fifth of Bibbity-boo?"
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"Brother, do you not grow weary of this opulence?"
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"¶ I live a life of great excess ¶"
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"¶ Less, less, less ¶"
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"¶ I want more of ¶"
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"LISA: Disguised as a poor boy, Siddmartha sought out"
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"-Namaste! -(kids cheering)"
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"GOD: Mm, if we've learned anything"
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"in Heaven now and forever."
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