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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - The Curse (S02E02)

"Did you call the speaker of the house a four-letter word?"
What We Do in the Shadows
"-No. -Are you sure?"
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"Yes, I'm sure."Ass" is a three-letter word."
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"Here we are."
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"I keep all of my correspondences"
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"from the past seven and a half centuries in this box."
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"I used to get so many letters."
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"Who's it gonna be?"
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"From my mom and dad"
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"when I was away training with the Al Quolanudarian forces."
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""Dear Nandor,"
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"we hope that the rocks there are not too hard.""
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"At training camp, we would use rocks as pillows."
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"And blankets."
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"This one is a letter from the leader of an army"
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"that we defeated with particular brutality."
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"Tens of thousands were slaughtered."
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"I guess I never had a chance to open it."
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""I resign myself to surrender."
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"I plead for a road to peace.""
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"Oops."
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"Oh, this one is good."
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"An anonymous friend sent me a token"
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"for a free scoop at Baskin and Robbins."
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"I can't eat ice cream, but it meant a lot."
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"I have asked Guillermo"
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"to bring me his computing machine"
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"so I can see if I have receivedany electronic letters"
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"-in the past decade. -GUILLERMO: Okay."
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"-All right. -Ah, yes."
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"GUILLERMO: Connect this..."
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"All right, there you go."
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"It's connected to this Ethernet cable."
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"Yes, I know how the ether works, Guillermo."
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"-No, Ethernet. -Give me this."
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"Okay. Well, if that's it,"
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"I'm gonna head out, 'cause Ihave a couple of errands to run."
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"-Okay, then, bye-bye. -Bye-bye."
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"Oh, uh, I got some blood on my fancy collar,"
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"so if could you get me one of those..."
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"-Tide to go pens? -...soapy pens"
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"-you can use on clothing. -Tide to go pens."
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"The Tide pen."
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"-The "to go" variety. -To go."
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"There's money in the dish on the table in my room."
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"The money dish."
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"Uh, it's gone black."
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"No, no, it's just asleep."
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"Arise. Arise!"
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"What is "arise," again? Control-alt-seven?"
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"♪ Don't sing if you want to live long♪"
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"♪ They have no use for your song♪"
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"♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead♪"
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"♪ You're dead and out of this world♪"
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"♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone♪"
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"♪ You sold out your dream to the world♪"
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"♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead♪"
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"♪ You're dead and out of this world.♪"
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"CLAUDE: What if it's a little old lady vampire?"
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"-KIDS: Kill. -What if it's a little baby vampire?"
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"-KIDS: Kill. -Oh, look here."
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"Guillermo, you ready to slay some Suckers?"
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"Uh... I brought some wooden stakes"
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"-that I had at home so we can practice... -TONYA: Nice."
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"-...slaying some Suckers. -CLAUDE: Right on."
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"GUILLERMO: I've decided"
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"to infiltrate the group"
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"and sabotage whatever plans they have."
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"'Cause I would never forgive myself if something happened"
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"to Nandor, Nadja or Laszlo."
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"But I don't think I have to be worried too much with this..."
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"CLAUDE: Stab it, stab it like this! Gotta kill it."
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"Glad you brought your camera crew, too."
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"Helps get the word out."
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"For too long,these vampires have gotten away"
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"with treating humans like either dinner or dirt."
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"You know, every relationship has its ebbs and flows."
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"Ooh! I'm feeling good."
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"-DEREK: Yeah. Yes. -You feeling good?"
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"-I feel good. -Hell yeah. -Yeah."
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"You guys are pumped for training."
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"CLAUDE:Training? Nah. Training's over."
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"-What-what's going on? -Our first official hunt."
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"I'm sorry, what?"
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"Oh, uh-- No, I thought we were just going to,"
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"-uh, practice today... -No, no, no."
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"We finally have a real target. Shanice, fill him in."
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"You know my roommate who was turned into a vampire?"
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"Well, I think I figured out"
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"where the ones who turned her live."
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"It's a house right here in Staten Island."
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"It's a very spooky-looking place."
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"No one goes in or out during the day."
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"No cars are parked out front."
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"And there a lot of bats."
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"Plus, there are these very strange"
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"tr-- tr-- tenopinaries. Tipperaries?"
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"-Chilip-- Tilopirar... -Topiary."
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"These hedges out in the front yard."
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"Do, uh, any of these hedges look like..."
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"...vaginas?"
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"My man."
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"SHANICE: I mean, I guess"
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"some of them are of the adult nature."
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"I think I know what house you're talking about."
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"They're normal human beings. They're not vampires."
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"They're, like, teachers or social workers, actually."
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"-We are going there tonight. -Yes!"
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"No! We shouldn't go tonight."
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"This is my second meeting. I thought we were gonna just--"
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"ha-- practice."
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"I could go another round at that crossbow."
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"And I know that Derek mentioned something."
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"You could go another round, right?"
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"-No, I'm good. -I'm pretty sure you said it."
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"No, we've never talked outside of this."
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"Okay, well, he doesn't remember."
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"-Gear up. Let's ride. -Yes."
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"TONYA: All right, guys. We have enough for, like,"
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"two holy waters per person."
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