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Clips from Garth Marenghi's Darkplace - The Apes of Wrath (S01E01)

"Could you ever love a monkey, Liz?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"It's certainly an improvement on the old look."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"(Both) Good morning."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"No, thanks. I'll have a coffee."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"No, Sanch. You have it. I'll grab a coffee instead of water."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Cheers!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"BUBBLING"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Dagless, we need your loaf - what's going on?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"You're Homo erectus but for how long?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Thanks for being straight with me."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"- You and I are Homo sapiens? - Correct."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Shouldn't homos get along?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"We must lick this problem before it slaps us in the nuts. We need data."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Liz, fill us boys in, if you'll pardon the expression."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"< Liz!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"- It's got Liz, too. - Whatever "it" is."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"(Both) Good luck."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Crack this, or Won Ton will be over me like knockers in a wind tunnel."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Right. I'll stay here."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Come on, Liz."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'At this stage in the narrative it would be odd if he did.'"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Not true. It looks great, still."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"- I'd love a glass of water. - NO! That's mine."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Don't sweat it. I'll suck a mint."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Monkeys were created by God to entertain us. That's all we know."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"- But surely... - That's all we know, Rick!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Come on, Liz."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"BUBBLING"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"(Mind how you go!)"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'Why not Reed? Why not me?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'This hospital was turning into a jungle -"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"It was easy to get into character. I know the beast in me."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I looked in the mirror one day..."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I have stood in Dean's front room and watched him make a lot of love."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I'm afraid, Rick. I'm afraid of what I'm becoming."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Yep. That's me."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"This is unmanageable. I used to have the best hair in the hospital!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"And I'm starting to get some pretty primal urges."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I didn't want to say, but in surgery today you were waving your bits out the window."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'I found myself alone in a primitive land"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'where phantasm, spelt with PH not F, abounded."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'Then the other."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Hm?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'I'd been asleep for a month, which is ages. Reed told me everything -"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"What shall we do, Reed?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"- What do you mean? - This hospital's running well despite all this."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"You're a flippin' fool! >"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Would you like a drink..."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I don't have time to drink this water... water... water... water..."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'Wait! It is the water!'"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I'll go to the water storeroom."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Two, three, four... five?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Oh, yeah, I shot Duncan. Hang tight."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"There's that line "Thank God I only took a tiny sip.""
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"If you take a tiny sip of this, you're all right."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I know writers who use subtext"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"and they're all cowards. OK?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"If politicians pay doctors peanuts, could they literally turn into monkeys?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"< SIGHING"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'I had a hunch this guy was the head honcho.'"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"THREE GUNSHOTS"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Heh-heh!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"GRUNTING"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"SYNTHESISER POP MUSIC"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Ha! Ha ha!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"BRAKES SQUEAL"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Pull over!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Gettawa!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Take this!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"If you... use antiperspirant"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Block all those with antiperspirant, you get a breath problem."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"(Liz) 'Give us a detailed explanation.'"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'He developed a serum extracted from gibbons' gonads -"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'passed through chimps' balls at light speed, it turned men into monkeys."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"True but if you mention my shit in Dag's car, you get the thick end of the wedge."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"- OK, Liz. No need to go ape. - Hey! I thought I told you!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'We laughed to protect ourselves, to mask the awful horror,"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'although I thought what Reed said about Liz going bananas was witty."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'But a man must not let his beast be his master,"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I called... Madeleine Wool "Menagerie Wool"!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I've always been good with words."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"It's so hard to watch this episode knowing she's missing, presumed dead."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"But, then again, she was like a candle in the wind."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"And it was Madeleine."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"And she spoke to me, and she said -"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
""that sentence needs a verb.""
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"And she said, "That's inelegant.""
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"And I... lit a joss stick..."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Through the years"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I've never been afraid"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I love the life we've made"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I reckon she's in the Eastern Bloc. That's my hunch."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"No, I think she's just buried in the Eastern Bloc."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"but it's along the same lines but with a different animal."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I need you on the ward! There are kids dying out here!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"They would not make this show today."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'The word on the ward was - no, he weren't."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'This place was dark, damn dark."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"I owe you everything. If you need any help, you can always rely on me."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Could you run these ECG results past the boys in Radiology?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Would you two like some water?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"(Tannoy) 'Dr Sanchez, if you don't come to surgery, we'll start without you.'"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Mind how you go, Rick."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Terry, run a J over the seat. I think Liz has left a souvenir."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"(Tannoy) 'Emergency in surgery. Emergency in surgery.'"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Both Todd and I were wild then - behaving like flipping Romans!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"SNIFFS"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Liz is throwing her own poo to get attention."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'My bonce having been knocked, I fell into a strange fantastical dream,"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'Then I saw myself as a monkey.'"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Ooh-ooh!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'My head felt like a plum without the pip."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'how the monkeys ruled Darkplace, how they'd taken over.'"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Oh, no! Oh, Jesus!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'Here I found the fiendish fount of this fear."
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"'An apeloid micturating - which means urinating -"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Quillababno! >"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"On di bika. Ha ha ha!"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"BELL RINGS"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
"Agreed. So, what was it, Dag?"
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
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