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Clips from 30 Rock - Kidnapped by Danger (S06E06)

"That's why we're perfect, avery."
30 Rock
"- [sighs]"
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"If you found any prosciutto today."
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"- Why are you dressed like a janitor?"
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"- It's my new job. - But you just got promoted."
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"- Well, I've had a few setbacks,"
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"So, here I am."
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"Starting back up the ladder to my dreams."
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"My career dreams."
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"Not the dream where those two tennis sisters chase me."
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"- You really are an extraordinary"
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"- Medically, it's a neck ridge."
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"- I mean, look at you."
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"You're doing worse."
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"You always believe that everything is going to work out."
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"- Well, I'll tell you my secret, sir."
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""everything's gonna be okay.""
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"And I don't know how much longer I can do it."
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"- Let me guess, you're all watching"
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"My triumph fallon last night?"
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"- ♪ daddy's fightin' overseas"
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"♪ lord, keep him safe for mommy, please ♪"
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"♪ heart so proud"
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"♪ daddy make my heart so proud ♪"
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"- Yankovic! He reversed the parody."
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"- I've gotta go call my dad and thank him."
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"You know he was stationed at pearl harbor?"
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"- Well, congratulations, lemon."
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"You were right."
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"Maybe my whole marriage to avery was a lie."
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"- Whoa, no, that's not what I was saying."
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"And it looks like when you tie a string around a roast."
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"Okay, so we agree. Things are complicated."
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"You just have to get avery home first."
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"- How? Lemon..."
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"We can't make this movie. - Yes, we can."
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"We just have to do what you've been doing all along."
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"Lie...To everybody."
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"[dramatic music]"
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"- ♪ I am kidnapped"
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"- Cut! All right. [bell ringing]"
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"It's a wrap."
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"All right, now let's hurry up and edit this thing."
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"It's on in two days."
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"Call me. I wanna board with you at big bear, all right?"
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"- Lance, I wanna thank you for you professionalism"
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"- Thanks, jack."
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"I'm not one to tell tales out of school,"
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"But she's a real hotshot at boinking."
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"I'm not a writer."
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"She made me boink her this morning"
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"And at first, I was like, "please--"
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"Uh, thank you."
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"- Wow, it's just good to be, uh,"
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"Get back to doing the things I love,"
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"Hopefully, the next time we see each other,"
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"- Hey, when this movie airs,"
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"Can my name be the first credit that comes up at the end?"
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"- This is a group process, lemon."
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"Harangued me to write a song for the film..."
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"- I need to thank my co-writers, gary greasy"
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"Thank you."
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"I didn't even realize your song was the original."
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"That was written to distract gary greasy"
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"[all cheer]"
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"- Jack, where are you?"
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"I mean, what if I were like,"
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"- No, that's how people from boston sound to me."
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"Against weird al yankovic?"
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"Eminem backed down. Lady gaga backed down."
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"I can't do that now. It's ruined."
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"- Unless, I write a song that can't be parodied."
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"- You told me to write it exactly how it happened."
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"And when avery abandoned you for her career,"
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"- Diana jessup."
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"- Oh, you're still here. - That's what they all say."
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"- You guys like factoids?"
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"Check this out."
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"- That's quite enough, lemon. - Rectal fissures."
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"He'll be playing me in the movie."
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"- Slip what? - Whatever."
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"I am jack donaghy."
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"I'm very busy right now."
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"I'm trying to find a quiet place to finish this rewrite."
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"Both: Hello, diana."
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"- Ice tea."
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"- [gags]"
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"And the only problem is that I can't write."
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"- That pretty much sums it up."
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"I'll write this thing myself. - Fine, but you are in denial about your life."
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"Everything's gonna work out."
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"- Now, here to sing her original song"
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"- Make love to me...Now."
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"This is garbage."
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"She's making dinner and she wants to know"
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"And even if other people say to you,"
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"Stop looking at your mother-in-law."
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"Every morning, when I wake up, I say,"
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"Have a swell night, sir."
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"He normal al'd us. I feel so--"
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"Everyone lies to themselves."
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"I mean, I refuse to buy larger underwear,"
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"- Nothing can keep us apart!"
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"- I get it, lance."
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"♪ I am kidnapped and I wonder for how long ♪"
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"Uh, you two go and have a good time."
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"Weird al corrupted something beautiful"
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"By constantin stanislavski"
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"Only nancy used reagan's first name."
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"[squeals]"
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"- ♪ I eat pizza, I eat cheese ♪"
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"You stay positive."
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"- Weird al."
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"You took the facts and you twisted them"
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"Their brains can't handle it."
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"Boy meets girl."
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"I've been lying to myself."
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"Young man, kenneth."
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"Uh, I mean, as a guest, not, uh, under a waterfall."
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"Out on a date acting like you?"
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