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Clips from South Park - Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes (S08E08)

"Um, the last thing you dowhen you die, is crap your pants."
South Park
"as the day your town... became great. The grand opening of the first South Park..."
South Park
"Yes. Wall*Mart is the leading employer of seniors. And they also employ the handicapped."
South Park
"Okay, fine, dumbass, YOU go ahead and buy one copy for nine ninety-eight!"
South Park
"Huh, wait a minute! I don't even want ONE copy of Time Cop!"
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"Yeaaah..."
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"Anu-nothing!"
South Park
"Thanks for coming to Wall*Mart."
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"Excuse me! Hello! Can somebody tell my why we're going to Jim's Drugs to buy Voltar cards when Wall*Mart has them for three bucks cheaper?"
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"That's called progress, Kyle."
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"I couldn't resist! Do you want one?"
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"Come in?"
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"We're sorry, but it seems our Main Street is dying and good people are losing their jobs."
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"who can't love it, right?"
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"Ah- and Wall*Mart really gives back to the community! Us peopleare certainly happy to have a store like Wall*Mart,"
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"Well where else was I gonna get a napkin dispenser at nine thirty at night?"
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"Oh all right, em maybe I was gonna buy a glass. One glass! ... And some chips... And butter."
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"Kumbaya, my Lord, Kumbaya."
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"What the?"
South Park
"Oh, awesome!"
South Park
"Mom, Dad? Why are you shopping here?"
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"But nobody wants a Wall*Mart here!"
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"Where are they?"
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"We're gonna put a stop to Wall*Mart once and for all!"
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"Whoa, Pixie Sticks, twenty-nine cents?"
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"Wall*Mart?... Are you speaking to me?... My friends? ... Trying to hurt you again?"
South Park
"Yeah huh! You wanna go with us so that later you go, "Haha,"
South Park
"You said we have no idea that you're never let us hurt Wall*Mart!"
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"He is working for the Wall*Mart to stup us from succeeding!"
South Park
"God-damnit!"
South Park
"Goddamn that took a long time."
South Park
"I did not! I wanna close Wall*Mart just as much as you guys do!"
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"Yeah. We've come to complain. We don't want a Wall*Mart in our town."
South Park
"Where's he?"
South Park
"We... invented the Wall*Mart Super Center in 1987. The idea was simple: build a store"
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"You don't stop it."
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"All right, this is it! If Wall*Mart has a heart, we have to find it and destroy it!"
South Park
"No matter what the Wall*Mart does to try to stop us,"
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"I'm afraid not, Kyle! Wall*Mart is a great store! I could not let you fools ruin its terrific bargains!"
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"No you didn't."
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"Yes I did! I said from the beginning that you would do this!"
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"Yes I did!!"
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"I can't hear you! Lalalalalala!"
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"We don't have time for this! Kenny, keep him away from us!"
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"Dad, we know how to destroy the Wall*Mart."
South Park
"I can't make it, boys! You're gonna have to go on without me!"
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"I can take whichever form I like."
South Park
"Ah, yes, but who are you?"
South Park
"Well, the guy in Arkansas said to destroy the heart."
South Park
"Now you see me as I truly am!"
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"The Wall*Mart is exploding! Everybody out now!"
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"All Wall*Marts start a self-destruction sequence if you break a mirror in the back."
South Park
"Wait. I think I understand the symbolism of the mirror. The Wall*Mart... is us."
South Park
"Duh."
South Park
"You guys know what?"
South Park
"Yeah, when you die, your jowels release and crap comes flying out your ass."
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"That is fucking stupid, Cartman!"
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"Oh yeah?! I'll bet you five bucks that when you die you crap your pants,"
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"Hey everybody, it's time!"
South Park
"It's time!"
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"It's time. Oh, it's time? It's happening. It's happening now? Let's go!"
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"It's time for what?"
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"Get down to Metzger's Field! It's about to happen!"
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"People of South Park I am pleased to be with you on this most historic day."
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"Look at it, honey. It's so big."
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"It's like we're a real town now."
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"Whoa, awesome!"
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"Hey! Isn't there where Stark's Pond used to be? Where we used to kayak and fish?"
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"I know that with the opening of the South Park branch of Wall*Mart,"
South Park
"you will all see your town completely change..."
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"Now, shop friends. Shop!"
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"It's beautiful!"
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"Welcome to Wall*Mart. Welcome to Wall*Mart."
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"...Welcome to Wall*Mart."
South Park
"Sharon, isn't that your father?"
South Park
"Hello, Mrs. M-marsh. Can I help g... Can I help you get a sh- shopping cart today?"
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"Why yes I'd love one, Jimmy."
South Park
"My God. Look at all these incedible bargains."
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"Dude, check it out! Time Cop on DVD. Three copies for eighteen bucks!"
South Park
"Why the hell would you want three copies of the same movie?"
South Park
"Because one copy is nine ninety-eight! But this way you save like twenty bucks!"
South Park
"You only need one copy, artard!"
South Park
"Okay, fine, I will!"
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"Dude, you can't shop for crap."
South Park
"I can't believe these bargains."
South Park
"Fools. Ignorant fools."
South Park
"Just look at the Marsh family, huh?"
South Park
"Brand-new television, new plastic dishware and cups,"
South Park
"and enough bulk-buy ramen to last us a thousand winters."
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"It's simple economics, son. I don't understand it at all, but, God I love it."
South Park
"six nienty-nine, fifteen dollars, etc."
South Park
"AAAH!"
South Park
"I'ma I'ma, I'm just gonna head down to the Wall*Mart real quick."
South Park
"It's almost midnight."
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"Yeah, think about it. If I go there now, there won't be anybody else there."
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"I can all the bargains to myself!"
South Park
"All are welcome. All are welcome!"
South Park
"Dude, I can't deal with Wall*Mart right now. My parents had me there for three hours last night."
South Park
"Oh, sorry boys. I'm going out of business."
South Park
"Why, Mr. Farkle?"
South Park
"I can't compete with Wall*Mart's low prices. Everyone is shopping there now,"
South Park
"and... well, I can make ends meet."
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"I've got to sell the store and try to find another line of work."
South Park
"Cartman, stop it!"
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"What? I just felt like playing a little violin, Kyle."
South Park
"I appreciate your business, boys, but you'll have to try somewhere else in town."
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"See? That sucks, dude!"
South Park
"Yeah, but what about all the people getting laid off from the grocery stores?"
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"And what about all the-"
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"...Whatever. I can go get another one at Wall*Mart. It was only five bucks."
South Park
"Come on, let's go to Main Street and support one of those stores."
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"What the hell?"
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"Dude, we gotta show our parents what Wall*Mart is doing to our town."
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"Jesus Christ, Dad. Dad??"
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"So-o-o-o-on?"
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"Dad, oh my God!"
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"Son..."
South Park
"What? D-dad, are are you dying?"
South Park
"No, I'm just... really really tired. I... was shopping at Wall*Mart all night."
South Park
"But you-your face!"
South Park
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