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Clips from South Park - Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000 (S04E04)

"Cartman's ass is so fat he makes your sled go faster!"
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"Hey! Don't call me fat, Token."
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"We want to use the sleds now, butt pirates!"
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"go wash some dishes or get pregnant or something?"
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"These are the school's sleds, ass farmers! Not yours!"
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"Look, girls don't even know how to sled. Do something else."
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"10 times better than you, doughnut punchers!"
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"- Oh, yeah? - Yeah!"
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"We'd kick your girly asses sledding!"
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"How about a race down a real hill, then?"
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"- Yeah! - You got it!"
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"- Yeah! - Your best four sledders against"
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"- Our best four sledders! - No problem!"
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"Then we'll see you this Saturday on Phil Collins Hill!"
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"Phil Collins Hill on Saturday. You got it!"
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"See you there! And may the best woman win, turd burglars!"
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"Oh, boy, we'll show them!"
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"Yeah, why, us men will show those skanky hos who's who!"
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"Yeah, and with Cartman's enormously fat ass, the boys are sure to win."
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"Token, I swear to God, you call me fat one more time"
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"I'm gonna smack you in the head with this rock."
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"Fat ass."
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"And what you need to understand is that this is not appropriate"
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"Don't apologise to us! Apologise to him!"
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"Well, I hope you learned that throwing rocks at people is bad, Eric."
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"Oh, I sure did, Mr. Mackey. I mean, I feel really bad. What was I thinking?"
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"The only thing I can do now"
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"is try to go on and live day by day."
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"- See you later. - Not this time, Eric."
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"- No way! - Yes way, m'kay."
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"And that settles it. Now let's all go..."
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"- Counsellor Mackey? - Yes?"
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"We're here to investigate the rock-throwing incident."
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"M'kay, I've already taken care of it."
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"Eric Cartman here is going to be punished with two weeks of detention."
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"I'm afraid it's a bit more complicated than that, Mr. School Counsellor."
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"New laws have been passed that make any crime based on race, ethnicity"
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"and then tried in the federal court of law."
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"The hate-crime trial of the century is under way,"
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"What turns a normal, fat little eight-year-old boy into"
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"We take you live to the courtroom as the defendant takes the stand."
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"Mr. Cartman, do you know a boy by the name of Token?"
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"- Yes. - Who is Token?"
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"He's a black kid that goes to my school."
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"Black? Did you say black? You called him black?"
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"- He is black! - Oh! He said it again."
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"He is African-American! And so you decided to pick him out!"
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"inside your head until it became too much,"
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"and then drive around in cars that get poor gas mileage,"
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"and wear those stupid bracelets."
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"I hate them! I wanna kick them in the nuts!"
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"Oh, poopiekins..."
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"This monster committed a crime,"
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"- Hey! Don't call me fat, asshole! - The Prosecution rests."
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"We gotta get Cartman out of court, so we can go practise!"
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"For this, I hereby sentence you to the Alamosa Juvenile Hall"
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"until you turn 21!"
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"- No! - I am making an example of you"
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"Court is adjourned!"
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"Kenny! Kenny! You have to get me out of town!"
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"for a hate crime! You have to take me to Mexico!"
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"Calm down, Kenny!"
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"Do you still have that battery-powered toy truck you got last Christmas?"
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"Well, come on, I don't have much time!"
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"A car chase is evolving on the 285 corridor east of South Park."
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"Hate-crime suspect Eric Cartman is trying to outrun federal prosecutors"
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"Our eye in the sky, Greg Numinz, is there live. Greg?"
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"Tom, it looks like the Go-Go Action Bronco is heading east on 285."
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"here out on the highway."
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"Tom, it looks like the fugitive is going to make a bold move off an exit of 285."
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"He's going into a residential neighbourhood now."
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"This is where it could get dangerous as there are pedestrians about!"
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"right where the Go-Go Action Bronco is heading!"
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"This could be the final stand off!"
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"Stop the Go-Go Action Bronco and come out with your hands up."
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"Just bring it to a stop, and come on out."
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"- Jesus! He's gonna ram it! - Move!"
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"Well, it's been over 13 hours now and still the car chase has not ended!"
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"What the hell are they doing?"
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"The chase has now moved through most of Arizona"
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"and nears the Mexican border!"
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"Dude, if Kenny takes Cartman to Mexico,"
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"how are we ever going to win the sledding race on Saturday?"
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"It's gonna run out of juice soon."
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"We're gonna make it, Kenny! We're gonna make it to Mexico!"
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"Oh, God damn it!"
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"- Hello? - Just a friendly reminder,"
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"Cartman's going to jail and you've got four days until the race, rump rangers!"
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"Son of a bitch!"
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"Here we are. The end of the road."
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"Lock down is until 0900!"
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"At 10:00 we begin random searches and checks for contraband."
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"At 11:30, we have nap time, followed by finger-painting."
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"Romper Stomper."
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"Who's Romper Stomper?"
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"I am!"
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"And I don't want no new cell mate!"
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"You don't have a choice, Stomper! Now show this new prisoner the ropes."
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"Oh, I will. You bet your ass I will!"
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"13 years. So in the meantime, we need someone to race with us"
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"Cartman's weight was what gave us speed,"
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"Come on, who's the second-fattest kid in South Park?"
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"- Huh? - Yeah, okay, get over here, Clyde."
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"Cartman's gone, so now you're the fat kid."
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"Hey! I'm not fat, you guys. I'm just kind of big boned!"
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"Yeah, that's what they all say. Okay, ready?"
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"Go!"
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"Gay, dude."
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"See you Saturday, poo stabbers."
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"Nice going, fat boy!"
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"Well, well, well. New fish."
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"How about you come up with a reason why we don't break your arms?"
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"Kids who like Animaniacs, and kids who don't like Animaniacs."
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"You're either with us or you're against us. So which are you?"
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"- Yeah! - Yeah, neither do I. Friends suck."
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"Okay, we've figured it out!"
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"To add more weight to the sled, we're gonna use these bricks,"
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"but we're gonna cover them with kid's clothes"
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"Oh, that's a wonderful idea!"
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"- So I don't get to be on the team now? - Shut up, fat ass!"
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