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Clips from King of the Hill - Luanne Virgin 2.0 (S05E05)

"All you have to do is promise not to have sex again..."
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"until you're married and log 14 hours..."
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"in our Youth Abstinence Outreach Program."
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"So, Luanne, are you interested?"
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"Or she may very well get sacked."
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"Who's ready to engage in a frank and open discussion of fornication?"
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"There will be ping-pong and pasta salad after we finish."
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"and share our detailed sexual histories."
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"to the number of sexual partners each of us has had."
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"Four."
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"Anyway, Hank?"
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"Yeah, and as a role model for our emerging virgins..."
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"But she insisted we wait until our wedding night."
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"So the answer's one. Next."
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"I was getting a massage."
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"This sort of thing happens every day."
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"A young man, naked in a massage parlor--"
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"I was at an arts and crafts fair. I took my shirt off."
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"Stupid, stupid Rhett."
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"Then she put me face down on this padded..."
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"I don't know what, a sex chair, and started rubbing my shoulders."
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"I felt this..."
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"And then I sinned my pants."
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"All you lost was those pants."
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"Well, when you say it, it doesn't sound like much."
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"I'm the youngest one here."
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"I can't tell them I've had sex with four men."
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"It does not matter what they think."
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"- Four. - Four."
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"Peqqv?"
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"Well, good for you. Ladies, this is a model for us all."
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"Oh, no, please. I'm not."
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"but God has truly prepared a special place for you."
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"- I'm sorry? - I would like one more chocolate, please."
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"Luanne, it was my very best male friend, Wayne Trotter."
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"People always thought we were going steady..."
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"We decided that the only way to know for sure..."
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"was to test him with Peggy Platter."
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"Oh, no, Luanne. He was not broken. Just gay."
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"Are you ladies decent?"
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"Boy, am I jealous."
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"Welcome, virgins, soon-to-be virgins, sponsors..."
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"and fans of premarital abstinence."
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"I'm a virgin!"
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"She is no longer interested in catching what you're throwing, mister."
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"Oh, dear God."
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"Well, I wouldn't tell him."
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"I just feel so terrible. I cannot sleep. I cannot eat."
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"I have already lost a pound."
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"You look wonderful, sug'."
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"Normally, I would say so with a lot more enthusiasm..."
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"No sex equals great sex!"
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""your peer group" about your virginity."
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"I am not having sex until at least my sophomore year at Harvard."
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"You heard her."
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"Your virginity is in danger now!"
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"You need to sign this abstinence pledge card..."
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"before you discover how wonderful sex feels."
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"Okay. In addition to heaven..."
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"You get a 10% discount on CDs, movies, bowling and video games."
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"And a free MP3 player if you sign up 10 other virgins."
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"We sure got lucky."
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"When we were 18 we were already married."
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"we would have gotten into?"
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"My virtue is not the issue, Hank. This is about Luanne."
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"Well, that's what scares me."
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"She's got nowhere near your upbringing or self-control."
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"I'll be damned if I'm gonna raise her baby."
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"Hey, I know a guy."
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"Yeah!"
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"I spend a lot of time bowling."
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"I can't imagine a bigger rush than picking up a spare."
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"Hi."
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"I'm Rhett."
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"I got kicked out for already being one."
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"TV and movies might make premarital sex look good..."
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"It's caused broken homes, broken hearts, depression..."
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"I'll sign."
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"Who wants to play miniature golf Friday night?"
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"Sorry, but that's the night of the Abstinence Dance."
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"I promised Luanne I'd help her and Rhett chaperone."
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"You know, make sure the kids have a good time..."
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"Well, you go to your prissy little dance."
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"Me and the boys are going to the putt-putt range."
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"I feel so safe with you, Rhett."
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"With Rad, my last committed on-again-off-again relationship..."
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"It was."
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"Did you know that the changing table at What-a-Burger is strong enough..."
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"That could work, right?"
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"Or is there enough room to lie down?"
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"Real virgins are so cute."
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"I think he has finally found his sport."
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"Luanne, you barely know this guy."
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"Yes, I know. I introduced you two days ago."
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""Yes, I do.""
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"Don't you want me to get married?"
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"and I know when someone's talking down at me."
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"I am just trying to protect you from your feelings, thoughts and instincts."
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"Well, it's true."
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"He's gay now, if that makes you feel any better."
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"No. Of course it doesn't."
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"PEGGY: Well, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted."
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"[Laughing sheepishly]"
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"Don't you, Hank?"
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"isn't it, Peqsv?"
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"I was wrong."
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"And I did not want to make the same mistake twice."
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"I wanna be mad at you for the right reasons."
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"Well, you never told me about all your wild escapades..."
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"when you worked at Jeans West."
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"I told you about the time I put on the gigantic pair of khakis..."
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"Hank, I cannot change the past."
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"I think it's best if you stay here and think about what you did..."
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"The guy at the rental place said that most of the girls who've worn this dress..."
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"Tell you what. If you want, I can take her off the guest list."
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"Save your breath, Aunt Peggy."
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"Yes, I am keeping my last name."
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"See, I was afraid I wouldn't like your last name."
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"I'm going to be Mrs. Rhett Vandergraff."
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"Hank, she did not know his last name."
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