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Clips from The Odd Couple - Pilot (S01E01)

"just for me to hang up on you mid-sentence."
The Odd Couple
"What are you talking about? You..."
The Odd Couple
"I'm Oscar Madison."
The Odd Couple
"God, I love working"
The Odd Couple
"from my apartment."
The Odd Couple
"See you tomorrow."
The Odd Couple
"What brings you here?"
The Odd Couple
"- Mm-hmm. - That's me."
The Odd Couple
"Can I offer you a drink?"
The Odd Couple
"Wow. So this is where the garbage chute goes."
The Odd Couple
"I'm stalking, I promise."
The Odd Couple
"- Hi. - I'm sorry."
The Odd Couple
"Ashley kicked me out."
The Odd Couple
"20 years of marriage, and I have nothing."
The Odd Couple
"I should have called."
The Odd Couple
"Um, I'm so sorry, Felix."
The Odd Couple
"Surf's up!"
The Odd Couple
"This is better?"
The Odd Couple
"Do I look like I've been crying?"
The Odd Couple
"No, you look like you are crying."
The Odd Couple
"and the last year you were the only one who was going."
The Odd Couple
"After... look out!"
The Odd Couple
"Now it's on your hand."
The Odd Couple
"Any minute now, this phone is going to ring,"
The Odd Couple
"No."
The Odd Couple
"Remember that insane party at the Theta Phi house?"
The Odd Couple
"about my Pep Squad uniform, and you said,"
The Odd Couple
"But we had a great night,"
The Odd Couple
"Oh, thank you, Oscar."
The Odd Couple
"You're a good friend."
The Odd Couple
"Oscar! Welcome home. Great news."
The Odd Couple
"Sadly, the same cannot be said for whatever"
The Odd Couple
"grab some booties from the bootie basket,"
The Odd Couple
"Mm-hmm."
The Odd Couple
"like an idiot, I'm gonna show her this."
The Odd Couple
"You know what? You should get a sports wall."
The Odd Couple
"You're my agent; tell Diane you need one for work."
The Odd Couple
"You get a wife or a wall... no man gets both."
The Odd Couple
"Hey, Roy. Put your booties on."
The Odd Couple
"What?"
The Odd Couple
"Felix the hell happened in here."
The Odd Couple
"You remember Felix; he came to poker that time"
The Odd Couple
"When is our pizza getting here?"
The Odd Couple
"Hey, Felix! How's the food coming?"
The Odd Couple
"start your taste buds."
The Odd Couple
"I'm developing a little theory about why his wife wasn't happy."
The Odd Couple
"I'm starting to think I made a mistake."
The Odd Couple
"Dig in, boys. It's a vegan feast."
The Odd Couple
"Well, that's the last time I cook for your friends."
The Odd Couple
"Everything... the nagging, the cleaning,"
The Odd Couple
""We're out of corn flakes... F.U.""
The Odd Couple
"It took me two days to figure out that F.U. was Felix Unger!"
The Odd Couple
"and I will never forget that!"
The Odd Couple
"What the hell was that? You don't even know"
The Odd Couple
"That said, it is no picnic"
The Odd Couple
"that his idea of multitasking"
The Odd Couple
"A man who is marinating in sex and booze and filth"
The Odd Couple
"because he can't admit how much he misses his wife."
The Odd Couple
"I promised I'd hang out with my sister."
The Odd Couple
"I'll bring Felix. We can double."
The Odd Couple
"Why?!"
The Odd Couple
"Great."
The Odd Couple
"She's right... Get in here."
The Odd Couple
"Hi, you must be Emily."
The Odd Couple
"Hi, you must be Felix."
The Odd Couple
"Well, I'm only here because my wife wanted me to get out."
The Odd Couple
"I can't stay out late."
The Odd Couple
"Dr. Marshall?"
The Odd Couple
"Oh, my God, do you go to him?"
The Odd Couple
"so all I'm looking for right now is..."
The Odd Couple
"I'd like to change my answer again, please."
The Odd Couple
"She asked. She's divorced, too."
The Odd Couple
"She is in the bathroom."
The Odd Couple
"And she eats a lot and still looks like that, so..."
The Odd Couple
"wrinkles be damned."
The Odd Couple
"No syncing. Don't sync. No syncing."
The Odd Couple
"Aw."
The Odd Couple
"That's how Oscar proposed to Gaby. Tell Emily the story."
The Odd Couple
"And there's Oscar telling us they're engaged."
The Odd Couple
"I must've walked her past that seashell 20 times."
The Odd Couple
"And she just threw her arms around me and..."
The Odd Couple
"No, I'm not."
The Odd Couple
"Hey, what's going on?"
The Odd Couple
"Uh, Oscar's getting a little emotional."
The Odd Couple
"He's thinking about his ex-wife."
The Odd Couple
"Are you kidding me?"
The Odd Couple
"You're finally confronting your emotions about Gaby."
The Odd Couple
"Well, I was about to be inside a beautiful person!"
The Odd Couple
"You know what, let me cue up your wedding video."
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"- No. Never. No. No. Sir. - Give me it. Give me it. Give me it."
The Odd Couple
"With no warning, and I cracked my head on the coffee table."
The Odd Couple
"I'm concussed."
The Odd Couple
"Yeah, spend the night with us."
The Odd Couple
"You look dreadful."
The Odd Couple
"Well, I slept out here last night. Look,"
The Odd Couple
"I want somebody who cares about when I take my vitamins."
The Odd Couple
"since you reorganized it."
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"Just doing my daily yoga."
The Odd Couple
"I find it really centers me."
The Odd Couple
"But I'm gonna walk to the cab."
The Odd Couple
"Here, hold that."
The Odd Couple
"You actually think the Mets have a shot this year?"
The Odd Couple
"- You're an idiot, Madison. - I'm an idiot?"
The Odd Couple
"You waited on hold for an hour and ten minutes"
The Odd Couple
"we're out of time."
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"Thanks for listening."
The Odd Couple
"Another great show."
The Odd Couple
"Yep, another show."
The Odd Couple
"I confirmed your interview with Kobe..."
The Odd Couple
"Please."
The Odd Couple
"...I told your ex-wife to wait a day before cashing the check,"
The Odd Couple
"and I told your bookie you're dead."
The Odd Couple
"Thank you, Dani. You're the world's greatest assistant."
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"from downstairs might be stopping by."
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"So you moved from flirting in the elevator"
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"- to an actual date? - Sort of."
The Odd Couple
"I sneaked some of my mail into her mailbox"
The Odd Couple
"to force her to come by the apartment."
The Odd Couple
"Aw. All the great romances start"
The Odd Couple
"with the words "sneak" and "forced.""
The Odd Couple
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