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Clips from Night Court - Death Threat (S01E01)

"I ran downstairs on the hypothesis that me and the perpetrator..."
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"...would hit the street at the same time."
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"- Oh, right. - Then again, I figured there was a chance..."
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"...that the sight of me barreling out of here..."
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"...might cause him to panic and flee, then I'd nab him."
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"- So, what happened? - Everyone panicked and fled."
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"Sure. Go ahead."
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"A person would have to be seriously deranged..."
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"...to actually do this stuff."
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"The courtroom's been cleared, Your Honor. Whenever you're ready."
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"Thanks, Selma."
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"And this may be small comfort, but, on a personal note, I'd like you to know..."
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"...you're not without friends."
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"Thanks."
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"- That was sweet. - I've got dibs on his parking space."
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"- I'm looking for Harold T. Stone. - I'm Harry Stone."
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"Must have just grazed you, huh?"
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"- Excuse me. Who are you? - Womack. Homicide."
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"Look, there must be some mistake."
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"Some babe called and said there was an attempt on your life."
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"Lana?"
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"Officer, I may have given you the impression..."
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"...that there was an attempt, but..."
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"Oh, you said there was an attempt."
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"- Well, it's only a matter of time. - Meanwhile, all we have is this."
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"It came in through the window."
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"Oh, yeah?"
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"Could be a rock."
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"Yes, and what are you going to do about it?"
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"Huh? Well, until he makes his move, nothing."
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"But when he does, it's a promise:"
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"He gets you, we'll get him."
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"Lana, you cannot take one threatening letter so seriously."
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"- He did? - Yeah. Course, you could get lucky..."
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"...and he might miss you. Took them three whacks to snuff that judge in Florida."
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"- Did he get a rock too? - Rattlesnake in the mailbox."
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"- Clipped off the rattle so he couldn't hear it. - Oh, that's awful."
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"No. A snake just shrugs a thing like that off."
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"Anyway, the point of the story is that if somebody wants to kill you bad enough..."
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"...there ain't nothing you can do about it. So have a nice day."
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"Thanks."
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"You know, if it weren't for Eve, there'd be no reason for you to wear any clothes."
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"She did it so we could get some work done."
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"Honey, at my age, I don't do anything regularly."
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"Hey, mister, you got any change yet?"
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"No. I haven't had a chance to get it yet."
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"I told you, you would get it."
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"I don't suppose you take Diners Club?"
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"Cash, chump."
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"Come here. Come. Come here."
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"Here you go."
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"- Ready? - Yeah. Let's do it."
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"Just a little advice, Your Honor. Get a bulletproof vest."
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"Bull, I appreciate the concern, but..."
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"- Sounds like you were real lucky. - Yeah. A few inches higher..."
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"Bull, I think I'm just gonna take my chances."
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"You never know when you're gonna step in front of a bus..."
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"Okay, folks. You can come on back in now."
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"- It's all clear. - Are you sure it's all right?"
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"Sure. Come on in. Here, catch."
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"Bomb-squad humor."
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"Didn't take you long to dismantle this sucker, did it?"
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"That particular device is status nonfunctional."
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"- You mean it's a fake? - In layman's terms, yes."
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"- Sure looked real enough to me. - Well, but to the practiced eye..."
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"You've gotta realize I've been in the explosive-disposal game..."
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"...for nearly a quarter of a century."
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"- No kidding? - Without a major mishap, I might add."
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"- Hey, Lou, how are you? - Womack."
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"All right. Say, how's your partner Earl?"
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"Oh, he's fine."
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"- So, you're all set, then. - Really?"
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"Hey, I heard he got it pretty bad in that drugstore blast."
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"Womack, I'm with a customer."
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"A little paperwork and I'll be gone."
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"I just wanna know if Earl is okay, that's all."
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"They let him out of the hospital a couple of days ago."
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"- That's great. So, what's he up to? - The alphabet."
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"He's working with some kind of therapist."
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"- I'll have to get a pen. - Oh, here you go."
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"Here. Help yourself."
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"- Thanks. We'll be seeing you. - Bye."
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"Oh, I'm sorry."
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"Goodbye."
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"What a card."
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"Listen, I finally got some change, okay?"
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"Got two fifties."
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"- I can't change a fifty. - Too bad."
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"- Hey, mister! - Tax loss. Think about it."
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"Are you all right?"
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"...that somebody might actually want you dead."
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"- I don't want... - I know you can't please all the people..."
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"...but I do try to be fair in this job."
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"You are."
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"I need a couple of minutes to myself to think, but our schedule..."
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"Your aspirin's in the top drawer."
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"- Mel Tormé tapes underneath. - Thanks."
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"- You again? - I'm everywhere."
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"So I've heard."
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"- Got a minute? - Look, I'm really not qualified..."
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"...to help you, Mr... - I know, you think I'm crazy."
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"Imagine how Noah felt when I laid that ark number on him."
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"- Look, I really am busy. - Then you won't let it stop you. Good."
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"Not gonna let what stop me from what?"
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"Doing what you were meant to do."
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"I never said anything about stopping my job."
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"A little parable. Now stop me if you've heard it."
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"Two hungry shepherds in a desert with only one piece of fish to eat."
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"- Please. - Where did they get the fish, right?"
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"It's not important. Anyway, the tall one says..."
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"- Did I mention one's taller than the other? - Please, what is your point?"
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"- Got it. - When I tell it with the shepherds..."
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"Thanks. Maybe things will work out just fine."
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"- How are you guys doing? - Oh, fine, Your Honor, but..."
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"...just closing up shop for tonight."
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"...but this isn't funny anymore."
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"Thanks."
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"- Lf anything should happen to me. - What?"
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"Make sure this goes with me."
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"All right, people, if we could all find a seat, please."
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