Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from American Auto - Charity Dinner (S01E01)

"I have never missed one of your events"
American Auto
"because I needed me time."
American Auto
"I mean, that's--"
American Auto
"How selfish can one person be?"
American Auto
"Here, take your damn purse."
American Auto
"- Richard, please don't leave. - Why?"
American Auto
"'Cause you want me to help you work the board?"
American Auto
"No!"
American Auto
"It's a lot of reasons."
American Auto
"Please."
American Auto
"Oh, God."
American Auto
"Come on."
American Auto
"Why so sad, Treebeard?"
American Auto
"Saruman cut down your forest again?"
American Auto
"Andre was taken."
American Auto
"Not like Liam Neeson starrer "Taken.""
American Auto
"I mean, he's already got a mentor."
American Auto
"So, instead, they've given me..."
American Auto
"Hector, what's your favorite class in school?"
American Auto
"I don't know. PE, I guess."
American Auto
"- I mean-- - He seems fine."
American Auto
""Fine"? Yeah, well, that's actually"
American Auto
"the perfect word for it."
American Auto
"It's fine, he's fine."
American Auto
"Andre was [bleep]damn adorable."
American Auto
"- You're a terrible person. - I mean, look at this."
American Auto
""Hobbies, baseball.""
American Auto
"Oh, wow, Hector. That's original."
American Auto
"God!"
American Auto
"Tough night?"
American Auto
"I may have just destroyed Katherine's marriage"
American Auto
"on one of the most important nights of her career."
American Auto
"Other than that, I'm great."
American Auto
"How about you? Where's your date?"
American Auto
"Yeah, boy!"
American Auto
"Ooh, doing a Flavor Flav thing over there, huh?"
American Auto
"She is really into him."
American Auto
"Don't even think she noticed I'm not there."
American Auto
"You really found your princess, didn't you?"
American Auto
"He had to carry a special little ass pillow--"
American Auto
"Uh-oh. Family talking to coworkers, worlds colliding--"
American Auto
"my worst nightmare."
American Auto
"We're hearing young Wesley stories."
American Auto
"Ah, yes. I was a bit of a wild child."
American Auto
"Yeah, a bully put a rock up your butt."
American Auto
"No, no, it was--it was a pebble, so--"
American Auto
"It was about that big."
American Auto
"It was--didn't go all the way in."
American Auto
"I remember our grandmother, she shows up there,"
American Auto
"and she looks at him and she goes,"
American Auto
""You're a disgrace."
American Auto
"You're never gonna have a real job.""
American Auto
"She said that to him."
American Auto
"She had lost her mind at that--at that--"
American Auto
"She was old, but she was kind of funny."
American Auto
"- And I proved her wrong, so... - Well, not really."
American Auto
"I mean, what are you, an intern?"
American Auto
"No. Our interns are actually useful."
American Auto
"- Oh, zing! You got me. - Owned. Owned."
American Auto
"That's a good one. No, seriously, though..."
American Auto
"No, seriously, I'm just asking."
American Auto
"I'm not busting balls. What do you do here?"
American Auto
"Okay, guys, come on."
American Auto
"You know what I do. - Seriously, what do you do?"
American Auto
"Well, he stinks up the bathroom a lot."
American Auto
"- Ah, zing again! - Oh, always, always."
American Auto
"It's Burn City around here."
American Auto
"We called him the Climate Changer"
American Auto
"'cause it was always 10 degrees warmer"
American Auto
"after he was done taking a dump."
American Auto
"That was--that was one time that it happened."
American Auto
"Oh, yeah. He sets off fire alarms."
American Auto
"Remember, I specifically said that wasn't me."
American Auto
"All right. All right. His 12th birthday..."
American Auto
"- Mm-hmm. - Panic attack."
American Auto
"Had to call the fire department, locks himself--"
American Auto
"Hey, Landon, maybe instead of weed,"
American Auto
"Bergeron should have mentioned the heroin."
American Auto
"Why don't you go back to rehab, you junkie?"
American Auto
"You broke mom's heart."
American Auto
"Zing."
American Auto
"Oh."
American Auto
"The men's room on the other side."
American Auto
"Oh, yes. No, I know."
American Auto
"I was waiting for you to come out of the ladies' one."
American Auto
"I got your email about Hector."
American Auto
"Um, he seems like a fantastic little chap."
American Auto
"Yes, anyone would be lucky to be his big brother."
American Auto
"- Michigan Mentor. - Exactly."
American Auto
"Yeah, but the thing is, I have a bit more of a connection,"
American Auto
"I feel like, with Andre. - Right."
American Auto
"But Andre already has a mentor."
American Auto
"Yes. No, sure, but I was thinking perhaps"
American Auto
"we should let Andre choose who his mentor was,"
American Auto
"you know, because if this other chap"
American Auto
"has got a better connection with Hector,"
American Auto
"you know, and we could swap."
American Auto
"Uh, yeah, we don't do swaps."
American Auto
"It's better for the children"
American Auto
"that they bond with just one mentor."
American Auto
"Right, but, you know, what if Andre's mentor turns out to be"
American Auto
"a molester, you know-- have you thought about that?"
American Auto
"Because I don't think that's gonna be much better for him."
American Auto
"Do you know what I mean?"
American Auto
"So you're proposing that we put the molester with Hector?"
American Auto
"Well, Hector-- Hector is older, isn't he?"
American Auto
"So he's--he's stronger."
American Auto
"He's got a better shot of fighting the guy off."
American Auto
"Do you know what I mean? So--"
American Auto
"Talked to Harman, talked to Novie,"
American Auto
"talked to Gates. McGarry's a no-show."
American Auto
"You'd think the chairman of the board"
American Auto
"would show up to this thing?"
American Auto
"Maybe he needs a little "me time.""
American Auto
"Richard, can we not do this?"
American Auto
"My job is on the line. This is important."
American Auto
"This is important? What about me?"
American Auto
"Okay."
American Auto
"- Aren't I important? - You are."
American Auto
"- Oh! Richard! - Ow. Oh, my God."
American Auto
Show more clips