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Clips from Avenue 5 - I'm a Hand Model (S01E01)

"A little while ago, we were all told"
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"that our journey time was going to be six months."
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"There's been an update. I was just told five years."
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"(GASPING)"
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"What the-- What?"
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"Does anybody here know what the fuck they're doing?"
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"Yeah, I, uh, control the lights with this button here."
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"Watch. Normal. Dramatic."
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"Normal. Dramatic."
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"-You get the idea. -What?"
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"No, this-- this is a state-of-the-art bridge,"
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"not some crappy piano that plays itself."
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"Looks at this. Look."
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"No, okay, now, take your hands off."
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"Take your hands away. And it--"
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"Oh, for... fuck's sake."
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"-So, all you can do is-- -Yeah, there is a skill to it."
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"So, if I just... do my thing."
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"Yeah, leave it like that. It just suits my rage."
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"The engineers said that it would be five years."
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"And I refused to accept it."
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"She simply refused. It was a very exciting moment."
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"And eventually, they caved."
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"Rav, what's the impact on the voyage?"
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"Three years... plus some more months. Six."
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"-Six months. -(CLAMORING CONTINUES)"
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"As soon as we know anything more,"
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"-you will be the first-- -Second."
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"Second to know."
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"(AMERICAN ACCENT) What is the collective noun for idiots? A thick?"
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"Non mais merde!"
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"I did three years' training as an actor."
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"Yeah, and I'm a hand model, so I am... qualified actually."
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"And if we are all airing our grievances here,"
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"I've been in character for four weeks now."
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"It is taking its toll creatively."
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"What about you? In line for a Tony?"
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"Me? No, I'm a model. I'm just good looking."
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"But I thought you were flying the ship."
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"Well, we thought you were flying the ship."
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"You've got the steering wheel."
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"This-- I-- That's not--"
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"You feel anything?"
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"No! Because this is a Magritte, Nadia."
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"Ce n'est pas un steering wheel!"
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"I don't even know how it goes up and down."
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"Oh, I do that as well, actually. Just this button."
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"Ah, you see? How could you not know?"
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"How could you not know?"
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"I feel you're attacking me!"
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"I am attacking you. That's why you feel that."
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"I'm attacking you."
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"They said, "Karen, for you, we're gonna make it four years.""
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"Incredibly irritating."
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"I said, "Four years? If you can't come back to me"
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"with three and a half years, we're done here.""
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"So, you know what they came back to me with?"
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"Three and a half years, people. Boom!"
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"(CHEERING)"
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"Eighteen months less. Hardball!"
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"You get 'em, chief!"
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"Yeah, hi, I'm sorry. I don't understand."
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"Why would they tell you five years if, uh..."
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"if they could do it three and a half? It makes no sense."
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"FRANK: You don't understand."
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"-I don't understand. -Right."
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"She's the only one who does."
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"Yeah. (CHUCKLES)"
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"(ENGLISH ACCENT) A king's ransom for anyone"
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"who knows what the fuck they're doing."
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"Okay, okay. Cyrus, come on."
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"What?"
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"What is this? A betting syndicate?"
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"Hey, man. Uh... Captain."
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"BILLIE: Meet your real engineers."
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"This ship is mainly automated,"
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"but we do need a few crew members"
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"just to keep up with maintenance,"
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"keep us afloat. So, this is like front of house,"
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"-and that's... backstage. -CYRUS: When she says afloat,"
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"that's sort of a skeuomorphic construct--"
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"Hey, you. Shut all of that. Right now."
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"Is nothing real, Billie?"
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"Yes, I'm real. I'm very real in every sense of the word,"
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"it's just that Judd wanted hot crew,"
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"and there's just no intersection in that Venn diagram."
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"Yeah, just you and me, Billie."
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"Another miscalculation."
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"Does Judd know about this?"
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"Does he strike you as a details kind of guy?"
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"Okay, he can never know."
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"He cannot know. Everybody get that?"
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"Judd must operate on a never-need-to-know basis."
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"Okay?"
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"AUTOMATED VOICE: Passengers on the bridge."
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"(AMERICAN ACCENT) Welcome to the bridge."
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"(SIGHS) It's gonna be fine. It's all gonna be fine."
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"Our course home has been set."
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"There's a lot of people counting on us"
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"to get them there."
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"Sarah, lights."
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"(ENGLISH ACCENT) Are they still fucking there?"
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"BILLIE: Yep."
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"-♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ -I bring good tidings."
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"Six months extra journey time."
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"Max."
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"Come here!"
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"He really exaggerates his numbers."
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"This is a designated good-news area."
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"No downers, no frowners, missy."
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"♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪"
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"NASA extended a hand, and you shat in it!"
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"-Suck on that, NASA! -(RAV MULCLAIR CHUCKLES)"
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"Oh."
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"RYAN CLARK: Joe inspired us all."
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"May he rest."
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"SPIKE MARTIN: He's orbiting us."
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"This ship is so large that it has its own gravitational pull."
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"That's a good thing, right?"
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"I mean, nobody wants a little wussy ship."
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