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Clips from The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

"Nothin' better, once you've had the best."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Hey, I like that."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I thought you would."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Reckon if I was to run for the legislature,"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I could, put that on my card?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Up next, Melvin P. Thorpe continues his expose of the Chicken Ranch"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"with a violent demonstration in the Gilbert town square."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Great God from Goldsboro!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Oh. Yeah?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Ed Earl, you better turn on Channel 4."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"That Melvin P. Thorpe idiot's got you on TV again."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Well, I don't give a shit, Rufus!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"It's all very well to take that attitude, Ed Earl,"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"but this is serious! Honey."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Put on the television. Channel 4."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"That Melvin P. Thorpe is shootin' off his mouth again."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"How could what he's sayin' be so goddamn important?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Calm down, Rufus! It can't be as bad as all that."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"What happened to me as an individual is not important."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Is this the kind of man we want runnin' our law enforcement?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Is this the kind of foul-mouthed example"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"we wanna set for our young, innocent children?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Run the film."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Number three. No sawed-offlittle"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"is gonna accuse me of takin' a bribe and live to tell about it"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"because I wear the badge in this county!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"So you and you listen good! You!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"If I ever see you or any of those"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"that work for you in my town again,"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I'm gonna knock you so flat you're gonna!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Ed Earl, that man has made a fool out of you."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I've had calls from four preachers,"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"six deacons, and the presidents of two garden clubs!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Thank you for callin'."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"The phones have been ringin' like that"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"all mornin' long. Sheriff's office."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I don't know why I let people talk me into serving as mayor"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"of this incorporated sand trap anyway!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"What in the heck is keepin' him?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"He'll be along."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Well, he'd better!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"My wife couldn't believe what she saw last night."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"They bleeped him out, but she read his lips"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"on every "hell," "goddamn," and "shit. ""
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"There's some folks gettin' up a petition to close the Chicken Ranch."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"All we wanted to do was keep it quiet."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Now, thanks to Ed Earl, it's the hottest thing"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"on the air since The Gong Show."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I'll tell him you called. Bye. Mornin', Sheriff."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Mornin', Rita. Here's your calls."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Reckon you fellas are waitin' to talk to me."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"We sure are!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"You don't know the trouble you caused"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"on this Chicken Ranch business!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Dad-gum it, Ed Earl! If you ain't a pluperfect fool!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"You may be right. I got over a dozen"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"messages here from outraged citizens,"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"tellin' me that we got a whorehouse in Lanville County."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Only been one here for about 150 years."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Ed Earl, now, you can set up speed traps to catch the tourists."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"You can look the other way when the wrong kid swipes a car to go joyriding."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Hell, you can even let Miss Mona run her place out there!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"But there's one thing you can't do and that's broadcast gutter talk on TV."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I didn't know they was takin' pictures."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"What did you figure the cameras were for?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Damn it, C.J.! You pious pissant."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I don't have one-tenth the trouble from Miss Mona's that I have from you"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"for one of your all-night stag parties over at the Legionnaire Hall."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"That ain't fair, dang it!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"There's just one thing to do."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"And that's close the place down before"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"we all go to hell in a handbasket."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Close it down! She was just fine as long as she was bringin' in the money"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"and makin' civic contributions,"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"but the moment her luck ran sour, you want to run out on her."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Run out on her like rats from a burnin' barn!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"That's just it, Ed Earl. Who's gonna put out that fire?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Look, if you won't close her down, at least"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"tell her to lay low for a couple of months!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Yeah, just until the heat wears off a little bit."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Give it two months. What's two months?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Nobody tells me how to run my goddam job,"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"and nobody gives me advice!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I'll do things my own way. I'm gonna make up my own damn mind!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Two months. What's two months?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Shut down for two months!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"That is a hell of a lot to ask somebody, Ed Earl."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"And that's a hell of a lot of overhead"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"to pay out when cash ain't comin' in."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"What d'you think I ought to tell my girls?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Well, maybe it won't be two months."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"The holidays are comin' up."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Maybe in a couple of weeks the whole thing will blow over"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"and then you can let your regular customers..."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I warned you yesterday about losin' your temper and carryin' on."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Last night you said you was proud of me."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Last night I wasn't on the 11:00 news!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Well, I didn't know that son of a bitch was gonna make an idiot out of me."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I don't know anything about that electronic bullshit!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"How was I supposed to handle that situation?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"That's your job, Ed Earl. Ain't that what they pay you for?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I know what my job is! Don't be tellin' me what my goddamn job is!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I could close this place down in a New York minute!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"All I'm askin' for is for you to give me a little cooperation"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"so I can get through a difficult situation"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"with as little trouble as possible!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Okay, okay, okay! I'll shut it down."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"You will?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"What do you want, a written contract?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"You promise?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Ed Earl, I am givin' you my word."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I'm sorry, Mona, about the whole situation."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Don't feel sorry for me."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I started out poor, and I worked my way up to outcast."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I know what I'm askin' you to do is gonna"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"turn out to be the best thing for both of us."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Just trust me."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"You know what burns my ass?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"What?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"A flame about three feet high."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
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