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Clips from The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

"for one reason or another."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"But we're gonna beat this thing. I ain't worried about it."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"You know why? Because I trust you."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"'Cause you're my protector."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Do you know he wears a sock in his underwear?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"A sock? Yeah."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"All rolled up like a Jimmy Dean sausage."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Well, I bet he's runnin' for office."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"That's typical of them crusadin' fanatics."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"They flare up every few months."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"They're always confusin' crime with sin."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"People just get sick of hearin' it"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"and pretty soon it just clears out of the air."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"You're probably right."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Well, ain't I always?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"What? You know what I was thinkin', Ed Earl?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Just how much I miss all the little stuff"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"me and you used to do, like goin' up to the lake."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Wouldn't it be fun just to go up there, get a couple of six-packs"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"and just get drunker than Cootie Brown?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Girl, that's the best idea you had all year. When we gonna do this?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Well, I'd like to do it tonight."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"So would I."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Well, I wonder who that is."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Hey, Deputy Fred. Morning, girls!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"How's your tallywacker hangin'?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Fine..."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Shoot."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Hi, Sheriff. This better be important."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I think it is. That Melvin P. Thorpe"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"is settin' up his television show"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"right out in front of the courthouse!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"In front of the... Courthouse!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"He's gettin' some pictures for a piece on the late news tonight."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"He's got a whole posse of TV cameramen. You better come take a look."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Right out in front of... Your office!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Son of a... Bitch."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I cannot believe that sucker!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"You know, he even brought his own singers."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Wait'll I get my hands..."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Go get him, Sheriff!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Come on, Deputy Fred!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Ed Earl, please don't go doin' something stupid you're gonna be sorry for!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Watch your temper."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Everything's gonna be fine, Mona."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Leave that little shithead to me."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Howdy again, good neighbors. Melvin P. Thorpe, the old Watchdog himself,"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"shinin' a spotlight on Gilbert,"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"the little town with the big shame."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Who's that fella in them trick britches?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I don't know, but it's too late in the year for a carnival."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"One of them TV folks, looks like to me."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"We're here at the Lanville County Courthouse"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"to ask some of the local citizens"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"how they feel about the infamous bordello"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"runnin' wide open in their American home town."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Cut! All right, now, stay with me, boys."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"And when I start the music, I want you Dogettes to start with me, brisk!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Good people of Gilbert, may I have your attention, please?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I would like to speak to you about a matter of great importance and concern."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Let's hear it, Melvin! Lay it on us."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I'm speakin' to you about nothin' less"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"than your community's moral health!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I'm talkin' to you about official blindness,"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"official corruption, official malfeasance."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"He sure is wound up."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Yep. I'm just waitin' for Ed Earl to get here."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"He's gonna kick that boy's ass."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"It's no big secret."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"You know what's goin' on in this town"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"and what's goin' on is evil, immoral,"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"brazen and against the law!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Hit it."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Now, Sheriff, Sheriff. Keep a grip on yourself."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Don't get your back up!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Stop whimperin', Rufus."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Well, if it isn't the man himself."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Would you care to give me an interview now, Sheriff?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I'm gonna give you 30 seconds, you fancified fart."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Get you and your singin' chorus the hell out of town!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Now, wait a minute."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"And get those cameras and the rest of that crap off the street."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"You're blockin' traffic!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"The only traffic we are blockin'"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"is that headed out for the Chicken Ranch."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Right, Sheriff?"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Little fat buddy, up to now you got two tickets."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"One for paradin' without a license and the other for insultin' me."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Now, you better get that travellin' circus out of town"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"or I'm gonna lock you up so fast your corset's gonna pop!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Oh, yeah? We're perfectly within the law."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"As a newsman, I have First Amendment protection."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Get this."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"The public has a right to know what is goin' on out there"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"and what kind of pay-off you're acceptin' to protect"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"that notorious house of ill repute."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"First thing. First thing is you're standin' in Lanville County,"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"which, by my figurin', is about a 100 miles west"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"of that stinkhole you call Houston."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"So I can't see it's any of your business"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"what goes on out here."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Oh, yeah? Please..."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Number two. You ain't the law around here and I am."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"So don't be tellin' me what my goddamn job is,"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"or I'll whip your butt so bad it'll look like the stripes on a barber pole."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Get him, Sheriff."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"May be mean, but he's ours!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Number three. No sawed-off little pecker"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"is gonna accuse me of takin' a bribe and live to tell about it"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"'cause I wear the badge in this goddamn county."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"So you listen and listen good, you over-padded, televisin' turd."
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"If I ever see you or any of those little bastards"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"that work for you in my town again,"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"I'm gonna knock you so flat you're gonna"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"have to roll down your socks to shit!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"That's tellin' him, Sheriff!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Oh, my goodness!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"So get outta here, you goddamn,"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"wig-wearin', citified son of a bitch!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
"Holy shit! Oh, my God, that man's crazy!"
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
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