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Clips from Veep - Joint Session (S04E04)

"(Theme music playing)"
Veep
"Man: Mr. Speaker,"
Veep
"the President of the United States."
Veep
"(cheering)"
Veep
"Thank you!"
Veep
"We're making history. We're the first woman president, right?"
Veep
"Well, I am. You're not, Michael."
Veep
"I am. Ow, you're hurting my hand. Hi."
Veep
"Oh, I see you."
Veep
"Thank you. Well, I'm getting jiggy with it."
Veep
"I'm gonna get that Philip Roth book back to you."
Veep
"I haven't forgotten about it."
Veep
"God, I can't even hear myself."
Veep
"Am I talking? It's hard for me to hear me."
Veep
"(laughs)"
Veep
"Thank you, Mr. Speaker,"
Veep
"Mr. Vice President,"
Veep
"members of Congress,"
Veep
"my fellow Americans."
Veep
"I'd like to begin today..."
Veep
"by saying a few words."
Veep
"Dan: You know, some content would be nice in this speech."
Veep
"This is just noise-shaped air."
Veep
"I know, and she's reading it tomorrow out loud in front of an audience."
Veep
"(Machine hums)"
Veep
"Hi, boss. You're still juicing?"
Veep
"- Yeah. - Mike trying to be healthy."
Veep
"It's like a potato trying to whistle."
Veep
"Wendy and I made a deal."
Veep
"If I make it to 50, I can quit fruit for good."
Veep
"What did you think of the draft from last night?"
Veep
"POTUS says the speech is too vague."
Veep
"- I thought she wanted it vague. - Hey there."
Veep
"I guess we did too good a job."
Veep
"So we still don't know what's going in her speech to the joint session."
Veep
"I mean, what do we do? Google it like a best man speech?"
Veep
"Relax, it'll come together."
Veep
"It always has with every president I've been comm director for."
Veep
"- How many is that? - This would be my second."
Veep
"And actually, it didn't always come together with President Hughes."
Veep
"We had many failures."
Veep
"I guess I just got used to it."
Veep
"Great pep talk, man. (laughs)"
Veep
"Sue: Ma'am, Ben is getting Amy's direct mail plans for you to approve,"
Veep
"then you meet the Attorney General re Chicago"
Veep
"after you swear in Ann James as Housing Sec."
Veep
"Yep."
Veep
"You have five priority calls in a holding pattern,"
Veep
"which can happen between Moldova and skin cancer."
Veep
"Okay."
Veep
"And then you have a potential 15-minute break."
Veep
"All right, during which I can sleep and you can squeeze nutrient paste into my mouth."
Veep
"Don't count on it, ma'am. US warship on exercises"
Veep
"just collided with a Greek fishing boat."
Veep
"- Two fatalities, ma'am. - Oh."
Veep
"Yeah, we're looking at a big, fat Greek funeral."
Veep
"I'll arrange for you to make a statement, ma'am."
Veep
"Yeah, 'cause I'm the president, see?"
Veep
"Everything's my fault now."
Veep
"Hey, do I have time to talk to Jim and Dan and Mike?"
Veep
"- Uh, no, you don't. - I want to."
Veep
"- Then you can. - Right."
Veep
"The opening's good... the stuff about Hughes and FLOTUS, section A."
Veep
"There isn't an A. We're numbering the sections."
Veep
"- We are? - We are. We agreed on numbers."
Veep
"So section A is now section one."
Veep
"Harvard education right there."
Veep
"Hey, who is that?"
Veep
"Oh, I want to say Chloe or Ellie."
Veep
"Dan: Ally. No, Sally."
Veep
"There are a million young women around here"
Veep
"and they all look exactly the same to me."
Veep
"You big lady racist. (laughs)"
Veep
"Hey, guys, I had an idea."
Veep
"Smells like Puerto Rico in here."
Veep
"I'm juicing."
Veep
"Oh, okay."
Veep
"So how about this idea?"
Veep
"How about if we take the cut section of the President Hughes draft"
Veep
"and we put it together with the spendy section"
Veep
"of my Families First draft, right?"
Veep
"Plus with the breast-feeding business."
Veep
"Yes, ma'am."
Veep
"That's files Mike11A1 and Mike11A11."
Veep
"- That's for my reference. - Okay."
Veep
"Ma'am, they still haven't found the three missing hikers."
Veep
"- Cathy will keep you updated. - Oh, thank you."
Veep
"- Who is that? - Hey, who is Cathy?"
Veep
"I've got to go."
Veep
"All right, come on."
Veep
"That was the actual President of the United States."
Veep
"It never stops being cool."
Veep
"- She calls me Mike. - That is your name."
Veep
"Obviously we're gonna need to talk about President Hughes."
Veep
"You know, thanks a million, take it easy."
Veep
"Let's just keep it short, though."
Veep
"And then that's where we put in my vision"
Veep
"for the future, okay?"
Veep
"For now, just put a marker that just says future whatever."
Veep
"It's just that I've got an intelligence briefing that I've got to get to, okay?"
Veep
"Okay, you know what we should do is prioritize."
Veep
"'Cause there's like the cutty and the spendy..."
Veep
"I agree."
Veep
"- Oh. - (chuckles) Suckas."
Veep
"Hey, ma'am, I can't go in this intelligence briefing with you."
Veep
"- Right. - Is there anything that you need?"
Veep
"I got those Dutch eyedrops you requested."
Veep
"No, I don't need you, Gary."
Veep
"Great. Great. I just thought I'd ask. Here's your coffee."
Veep
"- No. - Okay."
Veep
"Yeah, um, ma'am,"
Veep
"have you given any thought"
Veep
"to the vice president being at these meetings?"
Veep
"Oh. Wow."
Veep
"You know, I mean, I wouldn't want him to have"
Veep
"the shitty experience that I had as veep."
Veep
"No."
Veep
"Unfortunately, the precedent has been set for this meeting,"
Veep
"so I wouldn't want to go change things..."
Veep
"- Not at this early stage. - Exactly. Right."
Veep
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