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Clips from Galavant - Dungeons and Dragon Lady (S01E01)

"- What are you thinking? - Here's what I think."
Galavant
"If you really break it down..."
Galavant
""I love you as much as someone like me could love anyone""
Galavant
"can mean a lot of things."
Galavant
"Oh, come on, man."
Galavant
"Oh, just let it go!"
Galavant
"She's the worst!"
Galavant
"- She imprisoned us. - She stole our jewels."
Galavant
"- Yeah, not a fan. - You want to know what I think?"
Galavant
"I think you're in a dungeon"
Galavant
"wondering if the woman that put you there loves you."
Galavant
"And the real question is, why do you still love her?"
Galavant
"I mean, yes, she's beautiful,"
Galavant
"in a perfect-skin, perfect-body, perfect-hair kind of way,"
Galavant
"if you're into that sort of thing."
Galavant
"Mm."
Galavant
"I know you, Galavant."
Galavant
"I know your heart, and you deserve better."
Galavant
"You deserve to be with someone who will lift you up as a man,"
Galavant
"someone who will fight with you, not against you."
Galavant
"Maybe someone who's small and cute"
Galavant
"and ethnically hard to pin down."
Galavant
"What you're saying is..."
Galavant
"you don't think she loves me?"
Galavant
"Bloody hell."
Galavant
"Oh, please, just stop the torture and kill me already."
Galavant
"I haven't started yet."
Galavant
"He's not part of it?"
Galavant
"Will everybody just shut up?!"
Galavant
"- Do you want to know what real torture is? - No, I'm good. Thanks."
Galavant
"Imagine being loyal to someone your whole life."
Galavant
"I'm not gonna tell you who,"
Galavant
"but hypothetically, we'll call him "the king.""
Galavant
"He's a bit of a ponce, but I like him."
Galavant
"Then he gets married to this rump-fed basket cockle,"
Galavant
"who, hypothetically, we'll call "the queen.""
Galavant
"We all know who you're talking about, Gareth."
Galavant
"But let me be cryptic for a minute, will ya?!"
Galavant
"Just give me that!"
Galavant
"Now, she's not like "the king.""
Galavant
"But she's strong, and I mire strength."
Galavant
"But, then again, I've sworn an oath to protect the king."
Galavant
"So I don't know what to do."
Galavant
"I mean, that's real torture, isn't it, lads?"
Galavant
"Welcome to Richard's journey"
Galavant
"to find out why he is the way he is."
Galavant
"There's bottles of water in easy reach."
Galavant
"Please stay hydrated."
Galavant
"And no kissing."
Galavant
"Of course. Wait. What?"
Galavant
"Oh... Shouldn't be an issue."
Galavant
"But it has happened in the past,"
Galavant
"so I made a blanket rule... no kissing."
Galavant
"Mm. Good idea."
Galavant
"Okay. Everyone ready?"
Galavant
"Ribbit."
Galavant
"♪ Close your eyes, open your mind ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Your journey's about to begin ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Relax your karma and try not to barf ♪"
Galavant
"♪ As the universe starts to spin ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Hocus-pocus, expealadocious ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Set your aura free ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Petrificus totalis, drink deeply from the chalice ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Tell us what you see-e-e-e-e-e ♪"
Galavant
"I see a door!"
Galavant
"Oi! What did I say?"
Galavant
"No..."
Galavant
"Go through it."
Galavant
"It's opening on its own!"
Galavant
"That's magic."
Galavant
"This is the day my father died."
Galavant
"♪ The king is dead, long live the king ♪"
Galavant
"♪ The king is dead, long live the king ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Where is his son, who'll inherit everything? ♪"
Galavant
"Is that you, sire? So handsome."
Galavant
"No. It's my much older brother, Kingsley."
Galavant
"- I can't see anything! - That's me."
Galavant
"♪ Shut up, you ♪"
Galavant
"I can't see anything!"
Galavant
"♪ Shut up ♪"
Galavant
"Oh, dear."
Galavant
"I ate my feelings."
Galavant
"And a lot of bread."
Galavant
"♪ The sword, Your Highness ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Here's the royal sword ♪"
Galavant
"No one gives me anything."
Galavant
"♪ To be the king, you must receive the sword ♪"
Galavant
"If I want something, I take it."
Galavant
"And I don't want to be any king."
Galavant
"Oh, but, Kingsley, it's your destiny."
Galavant
"We literally named you "Kingsley.""
Galavant
"God told us to."
Galavant
"It's not like we were being trendy."
Galavant
"My destiny lies beyond the castle walls, mother."
Galavant
"I'm going to conquer and kill"
Galavant
"and spread bastard children throughout the land,"
Galavant
"like wildflower seeds."
Galavant
"Somebody else can sit on their ass and rule."
Galavant
"♪ But who? ♪"
Galavant
"- ♪ Who? ♪ - ♪ But who? ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Who? ♪ ♪ But who? ♪ ♪ But who? ♪"
Galavant
"Dickie?"
Galavant
""Dickie.""
Galavant
"Brilliant."
Galavant
"Gareth."
Galavant
"Aye."
Galavant
"You shall be the king's guard."
Galavant
"I'm only 10, but... All right."
Galavant
"I'm Gareth, and I'll faithfully serve you, My King."
Galavant
"♪ The sword, your highness ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Here's your royal sword ♪"
Galavant
"♪ To be the king, you mu... ♪"
Galavant
"Actually, I think I will take the sword."
Galavant
"Good luck... Dickie."
Galavant
"How humiliating."
Galavant
"That's it."
Galavant
"It was humiliating."
Galavant
"Everything comes back to this moment."
Galavant
"I have spent my entire life"
Galavant
"behaving as if I'm everyone's second choice..."
Galavant
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