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Clips from Galavant - Dungeons and Dragon Lady (S01E01)

"All right, it's worth a shot. Let's go see Xanax."
Galavant
"I should probably put on something more casual."
Galavant
"The brown."
Galavant
"Uh, hi."
Galavant
"Um, why are we back in the dungeon?"
Galavant
"Just wait here. I'll come get you when it's time."
Galavant
"Someone's coming to help execute my plan."
Galavant
"Move along."
Galavant
"Galavant! Galavant!"
Galavant
"I thought you were dead."
Galavant
"You mean because you betrayed me, you thought they would hang me?"
Galavant
"Because you betrayed me?"
Galavant
"Oh, trust me, sir,"
Galavant
"I have been guilting the crap out of her down here."
Galavant
"King Richard said if I didn't deliver the jewel and you,"
Galavant
"he would kill my parents."
Galavant
"I tried to warn you..."
Galavant
"so many songs, so many asides."
Galavant
"The point is, Queen Madalena,"
Galavant
"you have the jewel and you have Galavant."
Galavant
"- You must release my parents. - Must I?"
Galavant
"- Yes. You have to. - Have I?"
Galavant
"- Yes. - Really?"
Galavant
"Why are you just repeating everything I say as a question?"
Galavant
"Am I just repeating everything you say as a question?"
Galavant
"You... Don't hear it?"
Galavant
"-I hear it. Yeah. - Yeah."
Galavant
"- You're sort of doing it a little bit. - I had a deal with King Richard."
Galavant
"My dear girl..."
Galavant
"I am not King Richard."
Galavant
"But I will enjoy killing the girl who tried to eat my leftover man mutton."
Galavant
"Is... Anyone else uncomfortable?"
Galavant
"Gareth."
Galavant
"Cut her face."
Galavant
"Torture the rest."
Galavant
"- Gala... - Excuse me?"
Galavant
"I said torture them. Is there a problem?"
Galavant
"No. There's not a problem."
Galavant
"I like torturing. I'm pretty good at it."
Galavant
"I once kept a guy alive for a week,"
Galavant
"and he was just a head and a finger."
Galavant
"But that order came from the king,"
Galavant
"and I serve My King."
Galavant
"Your king is weak, Gareth. You know this."
Galavant
"He cries like a baby, he cares like a woman."
Galavant
"He makes decoupage footstools as a hobby."
Galavant
"Hey! That was a birthday present."
Galavant
"He got me that so I could have a sit down."
Galavant
"You're a dog, Gareth."
Galavant
"And a dog needs a strong master."
Galavant
"Now sic 'em."
Galavant
"Here we are, sir."
Galavant
"Are we safe?"
Galavant
"This neighborhood looks a little dodgy."
Galavant
"Don't worry, sire, we'll be fine."
Galavant
"Just... Try not to look scared."
Galavant
"Hello. Nice to see you."
Galavant
"What do you want?"
Galavant
"Uh, we're here to see Xanax."
Galavant
"He's in the attic."
Galavant
"Mom! It's a laboratory!"
Galavant
"Call it a laboratory."
Galavant
"It's an attic."
Galavant
"Hmm. This is... Cozy."
Galavant
"King Richard, may I present Xanax The Magician."
Galavant
"Actually, I'm not legally allowed"
Galavant
"to call myself a magician anymore"
Galavant
"'cause of the whole... Thing."
Galavant
"Don't worry."
Galavant
"Think of me as a spiritual guide."
Galavant
"I'm allowed to... Call myself that."
Galavant
"Anyone can. It's meaningless."
Galavant
"Look at his shiny little hat, toad."
Galavant
"Ribbit."
Galavant
"Who's that person?"
Galavant
"It's toad. He's cool."
Galavant
"Ribbit."
Galavant
"Don't ask."
Galavant
"He was a toad."
Galavant
"I did a spell..."
Galavant
"turned him into a human-ish... Type thing."
Galavant
"So, uh, yeah. I flipped it."
Galavant
"That's very good."
Galavant
"Anyway, what can I do for you gents?"
Galavant
"Well, it's... No big deal, really."
Galavant
"We were just... in the neighborhood,"
Galavant
"and, um, I was sort of wondering,"
Galavant
"you know, why I am the way I am,"
Galavant
"and he mentioned you might be able to help me."
Galavant
"Xanax can help anything."
Galavant
"Wonderful."
Galavant
"Bit of wind there."
Galavant
"Ooh."
Galavant
"Right. Let's get you started."
Galavant
"This is a... Kind of disgusting little workstation, isn't it?"
Galavant
"You see the toilet? It's basically a window."
Galavant
"And by "window," I mean "hole"... in the wall."
Galavant
"It works."
Galavant
"One of them."
Galavant
"Oh. Toad spotted it. You'd love that, wouldn't you?"
Galavant
"That goes in."
Galavant
"Ready. Let's do this."
Galavant
"Oooooooooooh."
Galavant
"Now the magic words."
Galavant
"Abracadabra."
Galavant
"Alakazam."
Galavant
"Habrazamdabra, flanimal ham."
Galavant
"Oooooh."
Galavant
"Try that now. It's all magic."
Galavant
"- So, I just... Drink that down, eh? - Yeah."
Galavant
"- Straight down the gullet? - Yeah."
Galavant
"- Ooh. That is pungent. - Yeah. That's the anus."
Galavant
"Oh, what the hell."
Galavant
"Oh, God."
Galavant
"Mm."
Galavant
"Hmm."
Galavant
"Takes a little while to kick in with a strong-willed..."
Galavant
"- I'm feeling it. - Yeah."
Galavant
"Oh, wow."
Galavant
"All right, boss, we need an escape plan."
Galavant
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