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Clips from American Auto - Commercial (S01E01)

"So on the 15th, you have an interview with "Autoweek.""
American Auto
"And then do you wanna"
American Auto
"do anything on this roller rink thing?"
American Auto
"What roller rink thing?"
American Auto
"A roller rink in the boonies was doing a families day"
American Auto
"and turned away a family with two moms."
American Auto
"I mean, not to sound heartless."
American Auto
"I obviously want gay families to enjoy roller skating"
American Auto
"as much as the rest of us"
American Auto
"but what does this have to do with us?"
American Auto
"Well, everyone expects companies"
American Auto
"to be social advocates these days."
American Auto
"I mean, I was admonished by my coffee cup this morning"
American Auto
"for not having neutered my dog."
American Auto
"Actually, I stopped eating Fritos"
American Auto
"after that Balloon Boy thing. - What did Fritos do?"
American Auto
"I don't really remember. I just stuck to it."
American Auto
"I just don't see how donating to some charity moves"
American Auto
"the needle on the elusive dream of roller rink equality."
American Auto
"It's not a donation."
American Auto
"Most companies are just tweeting a rainbow square."
American Auto
"- A rainbow square? That's it? - Well, it's virtue signaling."
American Auto
"I didn't post one."
American Auto
"Well, I mean, you get a free pass, don't you?"
American Auto
"You probably didn't have to post a black square"
American Auto
"when everyone was doing that. - Ah, so lucky."
American Auto
"Yes, being a gay Black man in America is,"
American Auto
"as they say, a breeze."
American Auto
"Look, if all we have to do is tweet some dumb square,"
American Auto
"then yeah, let's tweet it."
American Auto
"Got it. I'll post one immediately."
American Auto
"Post two. Go nuts."
American Auto
"Look, if we don't take a stand, who will?"
American Auto
"♪ Bom bom bom-bom-bom-bom-bom ♪"
American Auto
"♪ Buh buh bom-bom-bom buh bom-bom-bom-bom ♪"
American Auto
"[chorus vocalizing]"
American Auto
"Hey, fam."
American Auto
"Today, Payne Motors decided to do the bare minimum"
American Auto
"to show their support for the LGBTQIA community."
American Auto
"Thank you, Payne, for saving the world"
American Auto
"by posting that rainbow square."
American Auto
"Especially since all their commercials"
American Auto
"have one thing in common:"
American Auto
"zero LGBTQIA representation."
American Auto
"It already has like, a million views."
American Auto
"I hate teenage girls."
American Auto
"Where do they even find time to do this kind of research?"
American Auto
"I'm not sure she's totally wrong, though."
American Auto
"We do have a blind spot here."
American Auto
"I mean, GLAAD just put out a statement condemning us."
American Auto
"Who cares what GLAAD says? They're garbage people."
American Auto
"- Whoa! - That's one too far."
American Auto
"- You can't say that. - What?"
American Auto
"I just it's weird that the people who make trash bags"
American Auto
"get to chime in on this stuff. - Oh, boy."
American Auto
"I think you're thinking about Glad, the garbage bags."
American Auto
"Mm-hmm."
American Auto
"This is the Gay and Lesbian A--Alliance?"
American Auto
"- Is it alliance? - Association."
American Auto
"Activist for--"
American Auto
"Discriminatory? [all talking at once]"
American Auto
"I don't know how he doesn't know this."
American Auto
"There's five A's, it's GLAAAAAD."
American Auto
"- GLAAAAAD. - Yeah, but anyway."
American Auto
"It's the gays. - Mm."
American Auto
"So what should we do about this?"
American Auto
"Is there another square we can tweet?"
American Auto
"Ooh, I think this is bigger than a square now."
American Auto
"Come on."
American Auto
"We could make a donation to GLAAD, the advocacy group."
American Auto
"Not trash bags."
American Auto
"I mean, it's a lovely gesture"
American Auto
"but I don't think it really raises awareness."
American Auto
"Raising awareness of what? That gay people exist?"
American Auto
"I'm pretty sure we're aware."
American Auto
"We're not a bashful people."
American Auto
"I just think it's about representation."
American Auto
"People like to see people like themselves on TV, that's it."
American Auto
"Well, whatever our next commercial is,"
American Auto
"we better make damn sure that there are"
American Auto
"some gay people in it."
American Auto
"Oh..."
American Auto
"What?"
American Auto
"Remember the Magellan?"
American Auto
"The minivan that serial killer was driving?"
American Auto
"We rebranded."
American Auto
"[bright music plays]"
American Auto
"The Payne Magellan. For every type of family."
American Auto
"Every type of family except for the gay ones."
American Auto
"We've been working on this for months."
American Auto
"You cannot honestly be thinking about reshooting it"
American Auto
"a week before it airs"
American Auto
"just because some teenager made a mean video about you."
American Auto
"It was really mean."
American Auto
"I mean, she had, you know, graphics and everything."
American Auto
"We can't air another commercial"
American Auto
"with no LGBTQ representation"
American Auto
"one week after rainbow square-gate."
American Auto
"No, okay, but maybe we do have representation."
American Auto
"Right? I mean, for all we know,"
American Auto
"every single one of those people could be gay."
American Auto
"They're just not talking about it."
American Auto
"You know why?"
American Auto
"Because they're in a car commercial."
American Auto
"So it just didn't come up."
American Auto
"Look, I'm not suggesting we reshoot the whole thing."
American Auto
"Just the last few seconds with the different families"
American Auto
"except we replace one of them with same-sex parents."
American Auto
"So the message is Payne stands for all families."
American Auto
"Is that possible?"
American Auto
"Well, we'd have to recast and--and shoot it"
American Auto
"and then--and then edit it, get it ready to air in a week."
American Auto
"- Yeah. - Which, no."
American Auto
"Even if we could do that-- that's a giant if--"
American Auto
"is it really gonna be worth it to spend probably seven figures"
American Auto
"just so we can appease the woke mob?"
American Auto
"[quirky music]"
American Auto
"Can we get the blue van in here, please?"
American Auto
"Should have been here five minutes ago."
American Auto
"I really hate teenage girls."
American Auto
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