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Clips from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis (S04E04)

"- Wiggle the gas pedal. - Guys, why aren't the brakes working?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Because I cut the brakes! Wild card, bitches!"
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"- What?! Charlie! - Holy shit!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- Oh, God! - Oh, my God!"
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"Oh, God!"
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"Jesus Christ, guys, I can't stop this van!"
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"- Seriously?! - Abort! Abort!"
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"Go!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Mastersfield steps up to the tee, eight strokes behind the leader."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Hole number 17, 338 yards, dogleg left."
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"Oh, goddamn it! What the hell, man?!"
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"Ah, my van."
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"Why is someone trying to ruin my life?!"
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"I didn't do anything to anybody, man!"
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"I love that car!"
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"That's, uh, that's not Bruce, is it?"
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"No."
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"If there's something strange."
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"In your neighborhood Who you gonna call?"
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"How are we supposed to"
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"scale back our energy costs when you're filling this generator with gasoline?"
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"Yeah, gross. Since when did you start running the bar on a gas generator?"
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"- About a week ago. I've been doing it for about a week. - Why would you do that?"
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"Well, because, you know, electricity's so expensive, man."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"So I figured let's get a generator and, you know, run the bar on it."
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"Are you kidding me? Gasoline's, like, a thousand times more expensive than electricity."
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"And you know what, Charlie? You shouldn't be making these decisions anyway, okay?"
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"- You're not the decision-making type. - Exactly."
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"As the brains of this organization, I should've made this decision."
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"- I'm sorry, since when did you become the brains. - I'm sorry I've always been the brains."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"What are your talking about? What the hell am I?"
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"- You're the looks. - Yeah, of course I'm the looks but I was seeing myself as the brains and the looks."
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"No, you're the looks, I'm the brains, Charlie's the wild card."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Oh! That's awesome."
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"Yeah! Yeah, that's the classic setup. You know this? No?"
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"Look, every great crew in history has followed that basic dynamic, right?"
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"Looks, brains, wild card. Think about it."
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"The A-Team did it."
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"Scooby Doo did it."
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"- The Ghost busters did it. - Oh, shit!"
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"- Yes! Right? - Yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"Our problem is that we don't stick to that basic format,"
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"and it gets us into trouble."
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"So what you're saying is that by breaking from that format,"
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"we're actually limiting our ability to be as successful as those organizations."
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"- Totally right, dude. - Great. On to the matter at hand."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"We're getting plowed in the ass by the oil companies and the gas"
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"companies with their ten-gallon hats and their rotten, ass-plowing hearts."
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"So, as the brains of this organization,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- I came up with a plan. - Lay it on us, bud."
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"It involves pulling up our bootstraps, oiling up a couple"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"of asses and doing a little plowing of our own."
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"Pow!"
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"- Not gay sex. - Okay."
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"Okay, 'cause that's what it sounded like. What did you mean?"
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"- We're going to solve the gas cris. - Oh, good."
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"Charlie, the plan is simple, okay?"
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"- Is it? - Yes."
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"We go to a bank, we talk to a loan officer."
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"We get a hefty loan to buy a bunch of gasoline."
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"We take that gasoline, we store it in the basement, we wait a few months."
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"When the gas prices skyrocket, we sell it, make a huge profit."
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"Yeah, man, if the guy doesn't seem like he's going for it,"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"I'll show him this, uh, big-breasted women chart..."
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"- and that'll win him over. - Yeah, I'm sure it will."
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"I mean, 'cause that's great and the plan's actually pretty great."
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"The problem I'm having with it is that I don't have anything to do."
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"No, you do have something to do. You're the wild card."
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"You sit there looking crazy and capable of anything."
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"Yeah."
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"Yeah, you set the tone for the whole meeting."
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"So if I'm, like, there while you guys are talking and I'm just, like, like..."
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"That's terrible."
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"That was my... that was my wild card face, all right..."
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"What message are you trying to send with that?"
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"Really? Was that not a good one? Well, so what if it's more like, like..."
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"And you want him to think that you're going to take a dump or...?"
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"- Seriously, that's what that looks like? - I just don't know what"
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"- message you're trying to... - Oh, man, you're forcing it."
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"- Oh, my God. You know what? - Yeah, you're really forcing it."
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"I'd better look in a mirror 'cause I don't know what I'm"
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"doing and what it looks like feel like two different things."
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"The Brains, I'm going to supervise 'cause there is"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"- no way he should be making this decision. - Well, walk me through it, dude,"
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"- 'cause I just don't see what you're talking about. - It's not a rape van. It's a spy van."
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"No, it looks very much like a van rape to me, but whatever."
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"- Dennis, you gotta look at this. - What is this?"
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"Bruce Mathis is about to give away all of Mom's money."
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"What are you talking about?"
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"In two days, some Muslim Cultural Center is about to get"
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"a giant check made out of our cash, and we've got to get that back."
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"Listen, this jamoke is giving our money to terrorists,"
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"and we've got to prove it."
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"Dee, Mom gave all of our money to Bruce."
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"You were never going to get it anyway."
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"Oh, no-no-no, I was. See, I had a plan."
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"I was going to eliminate everybody else and be the only surviving heir, so... help."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"So when you say eliminate, you mean you were going to kill me?"
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"I don't know. No, yes, maybe I was going to;"
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"Maybe I wasn't. The point is moot now. So can you please help me out here?"
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"So you were planning on killing me?"
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"Stop arguing. Are you going to help us out? We got no time here."
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"Pass."
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"- Pass? - Yeah, pass."
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"- Super-pass, berpass... - How do you super-pass on something like this..."
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"I pass! I pass! Because you were planning on killing me."
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"Oh, my God, I feel like you're really focused on one"
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"tiny part of what I'm trying to talk about here."
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"- It's a very big part of your... - It's just a couple of words."
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"- Go away. I'm trying to draw breasts and pretty women. - Focus on the words money"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
"and Bruce and me and help."
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"All right, and what is the reason you're requesting a loan today?"
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"Wait for it..."
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"- Gasoline. - Excuse me."
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"- Don't rush me. - Don't rush him."
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"Thank you, I feel rushed. Look, here's the plan."
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"You give us a shitload of money. We buy a shitload of gasoline."
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"We wait 12 months, we sell the gasoline and make a shitload of profit."
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"Gentlemen, we tend to give loans to businesses, not..."
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"- She's not getting it. Get the graph. - Oh, yeah, the graph."
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