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Clips from The Shakiest Gun in the West

"I don't know about grabbin' women! I ain't married!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Where's that federal marshal? He's on his way over."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"You've got no right!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"You've got no right holding a defenseless woman prisoner!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Now simmer down! You just simmer down, Penny."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Marshal Bates here wants to talk to you."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Miss Cushings, I've got a proposition for you."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Not interested!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Better hear me out. This paper's a full pardon."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"You dang fool! The marshal wants you to work for the federal government."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"It's a trick! I just love this kind of stuff!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"No, it's no trick. Now listen to me carefully."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Somebody's been smuggling guns to some renegade Comanche Indians."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"What's that got to do with me?"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"We need your help to find out who it is."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"The marshal wants you to work as an undercover agent."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"We've already lost two men."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"We figure they won't be suspicious of a woman posin' as a homesteader."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Well, what do you think, Penny?"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"I don't know."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"We got enough on you to send you away for 300 years."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Ya ninny! He wants to give you a pardon!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Here, read this."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Is it a real pardon?"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"It's got the governor's signature on it."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"You got yourself a deal."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Hey, this is pretty excitin'."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"You mind if I tell everybody?"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"You do and I'll shoot you... right in the mouth."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Excuse me, sir."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Could you tell me where I could buy a wagon and a good team of horses?"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Yep. Right across the street there."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Abel Swanson will sell you anything you want."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"But watch him. He's real slick."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"He'll cheat you if he gets a chance."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Yeah? Well, he'll have to get up pretty early in the morning..."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"to pull the wool over Jesse W. Heywood's eyes."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Much obliged."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Love your hat!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Mr. Swanson?"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Oh. Howdy."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"I'd like to see Mr. Swanson about gettin' a good rig and a team."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Well, I don't know anything about that."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"And you can tell him that just because I'm from out of town,"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"that don't mean I don't know what it's all about.!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"{ Footsteps]"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Good day, sir. Abel Swanson, proprietor, at your service."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Dr. Jesse W. Heywood, dentist, Philadelphia."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Ah, a professional man! What a pleasure to do business with a man of science!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Wong, our house is honored by the presence of a physician."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"{ Kissing Noises]"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Wong reveres knowledge. We are at your service."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Uh, well..."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"I want to get a rig and a couple of good strong horses."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"And I'll pay nothin' but a fair price."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"It's a pleasure to do business with a discerning man."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Now, everything you need is right over here."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"There's a potbellied stove, wrought iron skillet,"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"twenty pounds of flour, one axe, two extra handles."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Now, let's see. A stove, $7.50; skillet, $4.20; flour, $8.50; $9.75 for an axe."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Add that up, will you, Wong?"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"That comes to $47, even. Now for the wagon..."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Wait a minute. Hold it. Hold it!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Forty-seven dollars? The stove was $7.50."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"The skillet was $4.20. That's $11.70. Then you have..."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Have you ever been in the Orient, sir? Huh?"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Have you ever been in the Orient?"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"No, I never have."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"That's amazing. Simply amazing."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Wong, observe the analytical mind of the trained scientist."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Skilled in the arts of mathematics, physics, chemistry."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Able to understand the machinations of the Oriental calculating abacus."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Run over those figures for him again, Wong."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Yeah. That's $47, all right."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Extraordinary mind. You, sir, are amazing."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Now, let's put you into a wagon. Right this way."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Okay."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"You are indeed a fortunate man!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"This is your lucky day!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"The wagon you are beholding... soon to be yours..."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"is the only one of its kind west of the Mississippi."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"How much is it? Built of the finest oak."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Once owned by one of the great pioneers of our west,"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"the late Sir Lincoln Boone."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"I know this is no time to bring this up, but how much is it?"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Excuse me. I'll let it go for a hundred dollars."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"How much? One hundred and fifty dollars."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Now that seems kind of expensive to me!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Expensive? Too expensive for a vehicle worthy of transporting..."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"one of the great scientific minds of our day?"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Sir, this wagon befits you."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Wong, let us not forget. Our house is honored by the presence of a physician."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Uh, well... Now wait a... That's enough. I, uh..."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Now listen, I think 150 will be okay. Sold!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Wong, add that up. Forty-seven and 150."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"That comes to $232.55."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"$232.55?"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"That is correct."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Well, figures don't lie."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"That's an even $250 with the territory tax."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"And that'll be cash, of course."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Territory tax?"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Gracias. It was a pleasure doing business with you, sir. Chop-chop!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Uh, I'll see you. Oh, wait a minute!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"L-I almost forgot. Well, what about the horses?"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Why, surely you jest. There hasn't been a horse for sale in over three weeks."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Wait a second! If you didn't have any horses for sale,"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"how come you sold me that wagon and all that stuff?"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"We just like to keep busy. You have no right to..."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"What time do you have, sir? Huh? Oh, 5:30."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"We're closed. Well... Now just wait a minute!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Why, you..."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"How am I gonna get out west if I don't have any horses?"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"You... You cheaters! Cheaters!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Abacus cadabacus!"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"{ Knocking]"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Mr. Huggins? That's right."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"Penelope Cushings. Won't you come in?"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"What can I do for you, Miss Cushings?"
The Shakiest Gun in the West
"First, I must warn you, I'm not taking on any new clients."
The Shakiest Gun in the West
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