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Clips from 10-Year-Old-Tom - The Bassoon Incident/Ice Cream Money (S01E01)

"[John Newton's "Amazing Grace"]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, my God."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"This is just painful."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"The kid on that bassoon is ruining the whole thing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Who, me? What's happening?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- My daughter, Dakota, practiced very hard for this."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Dakota, say something. Your mom's out of control."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm kinda in a tough spot here, Tom, sorry."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, lady! - Oh, no."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- How about you mind your own business?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Ma, sit down."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- My son plays bassoon like an angel."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, well, he's a sucky little angel,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and he sucks at bassoon."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, is this the day I fist fight in front of my child?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Ladies, please, let's be civil."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Tom, play us a quick solo"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"to show everyone how hard you've been practicing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- There's no such thing as a bassoon solo."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"That's why I chose the instrument."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Just play anything."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Stravinsky's Fifth in G minor."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I have too much respect for my craft and for Stravinsky."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I won't do it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Have you studied anything?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Just play something."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, fine. Here's a little of, uh,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Beyonce's "All the Single Ladies.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Let me bang this out real quick."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[bassoon buzzing]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, my God."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[bassoon buzzing]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Happy now?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- ♪ Now as our poor young lungs deflate ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ I'll admit I've gotten older ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Mellowed out, chatting up ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Those I used to hate ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ The feeling that we're lost ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Will always fade ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ I present no explanation ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Can't expect ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Our tired patience ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ To satiate for long ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ And therein lies a truth ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ We can sip when we want ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Disciples of the flow ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ We can float anywhere ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[bell rings]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, gang. This is your principal here."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Listen, due to budget cuts,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"we are now accepting paid ads"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"during the morning announcements."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"So remember, you're not old enough to drink,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but when you are,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"you'll like the smooth taste of Grey Goose."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"All right, that felt completely wrong."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We'll revisit that. [knocking]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey. - Tom, Tom, Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, buddy."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You know why I called you in here, right?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I don't know, just general chit chat?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Well, I'm getting a lot of complaints"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"about the bassoon incident. - Complaints?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- They say you're "dead weight.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Dead weight?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- One parent called you "an albatross.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Is that good or bad?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Listen, I was hoping you'd give up band"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and try something different, like baseball."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh no, I'm more of a bassoon guy."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What does that even mean?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I love sitting in the background"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"with a large, nondescript instrument,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"just flapping my lips willy nilly."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom. - Yeah?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I want you to listen to what I'm saying."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"There's defining moments in your life"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"that if you listen, it'll change your whole life."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I played the tuba as a kid, and look where it got me now."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You seem like you're doing great."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm lonely, I'm overweight,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and I'm a light stealer."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I light steal. There, I said it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You steal things?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Not, like, literally in my pocket,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but I leave things under the basket,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I put it up against the side, hope they don't see it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Is that what you want to turn into?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I mean, you're not selling me"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"on the whole lifestyle, no."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Just give it some thought. That's all I ask."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, Tom, what's up, man? - Hey, Nelson."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, you want to come over later?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Nah, I've got a lot on my mind."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- A lot on your mind? You're 10!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"These are the glory years, baby."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- These are the glory years? - Yeah."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Once we hit our teens, we're old."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"What's up, man? Talk to me, baby."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- The principal says I need to decide"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"between bassoon and baseball."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's a tough decision. - You playing baseball?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hell, no."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"My dad encourages me"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"to be an owner, not a player."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Not like a fun childhood, but--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Baseball players get way more action."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Who are you talking to? Me?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm talking to everybody within earshot."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What's action?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm not familiar with the phrase."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tail. - Tail?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Trim."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Don't make me say pussy, guys! There's kids on this bus."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, whoa! - That's the word from TV."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Why are you talking about sex?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm not even interested in girls yet."
10-Year-Old-Tom
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