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Clips from Teenage Bounty Hunters - Death Is Bad (S01E01)

"But you won't be by yourselves, I'll be there."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Right. You can be there, but maybe don't crowd us."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Wait. Are you guys gonna--"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I think yes! I think we're gonna do it."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I really, really like Miles,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and I've been talking about sex for so long"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"that it's time to put my money where my mouth is."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Ew. -[school bell rings]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-You know what I mean. -I do."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"It's like that time when I begged for bangs and when I finally got them,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I looked like a German boy who pick-pocketed,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"but I was really glad I did it."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-[feedback over speaker] -[man] Students and faculty,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I was hoping to begin announcements"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"with the news of our Boys Basketball's"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"tremendous 85 to 24 victory over St. Andrews."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"And I guess I just did,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"but I have some very sad news."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Mr. Koontz, our beloved substitute teacher,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"has shed his mortal coil."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-He died. -[students gasp]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-What? -Please join me for a moment of silence"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"for our dearly departed."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Who? -Shh."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[voice wavering] Mr. Koontz was my greatest mentor."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"He legit explained Algebra II to me once."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"It was a game changer."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"He always waved at me in the hallway"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and I never waved back."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"But I realize now,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Koontz taught me how to love."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-[cell phone dings] -That was beautiful."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"What kind of filter do you want?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Okay, scooch together."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Have you thought about how technically"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"this is the first dead person we've ever known?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Because we never knew Mee-maw and Dee-daw."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"You're right. We've only ever known dead pets."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Two hamsters, one cat, one dog and another cat."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[groans] Fluffernutter doesn't count. She was such a bitch."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I'm trying to picture him in Heaven."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Is it clouds?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"The logistics of a cloud land are super insane."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I always picture a palace."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"But is he even in Heaven?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Blair, he was a Christian. He went to Heaven."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Not necessarily. -[Sterling gasps] Oh."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Jeez, my butthole is in my throat."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Luke, what are you doing?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Oh. I wanted to surprise you."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Keep our romance alive during the struggle."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I know that we're pressing pause outside of school,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"but I want you to know-- I need you to know"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"that I'm not pressing pause on my love for you."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"It's still playing at full blast."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"And mine's on repeat."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Your activities log was such a great idea, babe."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I want us to know everything the other is doing,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"even if we can't do it together."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I saw you did thirty minutes of anger-crying at 4:00 p.m."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and then straight into band practice,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"followed by an orange juice and then straight into a milk?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I couldn't get my thirst quenched hard enough after rocking so hard."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I know in my heart of hearts, though,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"that a little time apart outside of school can't touch us."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"We're going to be together forever."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Um, excuse me for living,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"but why'd you say that Mr. Koontz wasn't necessarily in Heaven?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Did you ever notice"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"how Koontz didn't participate in morning prayer?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Yeah. I figured it was a medical issue."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Mm-mm. He was agnostic."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Is that where you think that God is a woman?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"No. It's where you don't know what to believe,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"which is bizarre, because it's all right there in the Bible."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"You're a real source of info this morn."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Vlad the groundskeeper was the one who found him."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"He told me that he was lying all alone on the edge of the field,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"a crustless PB and J lying next to him."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-That's awful. -I know."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"He has to go on a month-long paid vacation to recover."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"No, it's awful about Mr. Koontz dying alone."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I can't think of anything worse than to be alone in this life."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Oh, no, no, no, baby."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"That's not going to happen to us."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"We're going to be hand-in-hand"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"looking down at our memorial from Heaven,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"watching our children celebrate us,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and our children's children,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and their friends if they would like to come."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"All will be welcome."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Oh. Have you already planned it?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Yes, I have some ideas."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[both chuckle quietly]"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"A memorial?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Hmm. No, we don't have a memorial planned."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"[April] Didn't you hear the moment of silence?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-It was, like, eight seconds. -Mm-hm."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"That's all we're going to do for him?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"He was a nice man."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I saw him brake for a squirrel once,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-and then he got rear-ended. -Oh."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Don't you feel that as Christians, we should honor him?"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Of course, dear,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"but he didn't have that deep of a tie to the school."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I mean, for instance, if he had gone to Willingham as a student,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and then he came back to teach,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I mean, we'd definitely have a service for someone like that."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"And if we did, I'm sure there'd be  a mix CD"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"in her upper left-hand desk drawer."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Well, we would love to take it upon ourselves"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"and put together a memorial for him, if that's okay."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Oh. -And it should be,"
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"since it's a school activity, during school hours."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"That is so lovely and thoughtful of you."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I also had the idea to put on a memorial for him."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"It slipped my mind because of my devastation over his demise."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"Oh."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"I'm wracked with grief."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
"-Oh. -Hm."
Teenage Bounty Hunters
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