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Clips from Seinfeld - The Glasses (S05E05)

"I stay up late. I'm " night guy." Night guy wants to stay up late."
Seinfeld
""Getting up after five hours' sleep?" "That's morning guy's problem."
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"That's not my problem. I'm night guy."
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"I stay up as late as I want.""
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"So you get up in the morning, you're exhausted, groggy."
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""Oh, I hate that night guy!""
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"See, night guy always screws morning guy."
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"There's nothing morning guy can do."
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"The only thing morning guy can do is oversleep..."
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"...so that day guy loses his job and night guy has no money to go out."
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"Do you ever spit on anybody from here?"
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"No. You?"
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"No."
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"- Do you ever think about it? - Yeah."
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"Me too."
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"- Hey. - Hey."
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"- Well, I got it. - You got me the air conditioner?"
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"- What do you think? - Beautiful."
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"What air conditioner?"
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"My buddy works in an appliance store. He got us 30 percent off."
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"- Is it a good one? - Good one? It's a Commando 8."
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"- Commando 8? - Twelve thousand BTUs."
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"You hate air conditioning. You've never had an air conditioner."
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"- But Amy likes air conditioning. - Oh, an air conditioner for Amy."
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"Amy doesn't like the temperature up here. She's a little hot."
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"- All right. - Okay. So..."
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"- I'm gonna measure the window up. - Yeah."
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"Yeah. Rock on!"
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"I gotta get out of this city."
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"So you're tunneling to the center of the Earth?"
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"I'm at the health club."
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"And while I'm in the pool, some guy walks off with my glasses."
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"Who steals prescription glasses?"
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"- You don't have an old pair? - I broke them playing basketball."
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"He was running from a bee."
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"Now if I wanna see anything, I gotta wear these."
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"George, those are prescription goggles?"
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"What is there to see in a health club pool?"
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"There's a lot of change down there."
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"When I find that guy, this much I vow:"
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"Those glasses will be returned to their rightful owner."
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"We're behind you, Aquaboy. Godspeed."
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"What kind of a sick, demented person wants another person's glasses?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, especially those frames."
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"You know what you ought to do? Go see Dwayne at J&T Optical."
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"He'll give you 30 percent off."
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"Yeah. Come on."
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"Hey, he just got me 30 percent off on an air conditioner."
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"- Really? - Retail is for suckers."
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"- What do I have to do? - Just mention my name."
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"- That's it? - That's it."
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"What about these?"
Seinfeld
"They look good. I liked the other one too."
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"I've liked about five of them."
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"Well, it's a tough decision. I have to wear these every day."
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"- I'm deciding on a new face. - Come on, George."
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"Pick a face and go with it."
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"Now, those look good. They're very bold."
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"Yes, they are bold."
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"Jerry, what do you think?"
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"These women would be good-looking if they weren't wearing glasses."
Seinfeld
"Hi there, little doggy."
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"- Do you mind if I pet your dog? - It's okay with me."
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"Hi, little doggy."
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"You can't have that dog in here."
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"- You okay? Did he bite you? - Can you believe that guy?"
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"I'm okay. It's just a nip."
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"He just walked away."
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"And once again I'm standing here like a little man."
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"Well, not this time."
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"You! Dog man!"
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"- My leg looks pretty bad. - I'll take you to the emergency room."
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"- Okay. - Hey. Any luck? Did you catch him?"
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"No. No."
Seinfeld
"- I'll take Elaine to the hospital. - Good, good. Do that."
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"- What's the matter? - Oh, no. Nothing."
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"What is it?"
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"I can't tell you."
Seinfeld
"- Jerry, can we go? - Yeah, yeah. In a second."
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"- You can't tell me? - I can't tell you."
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"- Don't ask. - I'm asking."
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"- Jerry, my leg. - Yeah, here. Take care of it."
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"Come on, George. What is it?"
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"I saw Amy making out with your cousin Jeffrey."
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"- What? - They were right outside."
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"- Amy and Jeffrey? - Yes."
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"- Are you sure? - Yes. Positive."
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"But you can't see. There's no lenses in those frames."
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"I know. I was squinting."
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"Jerry, you just catch up with me. You can just follow the trail of blood."
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"We're gonna have to talk about this later."
Seinfeld
"Thank you."
Seinfeld
"Taxi!"
Seinfeld
"Excuse me. What do you think of these?"
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"We just got those in. It's a very exciting new frame."
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"Yes, it is exciting."
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"This is gonna be my new face."
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"- Do you have a prescription? - Yeah."
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"Kramer."
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"What?"
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"Kramer."
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"- What about him? - You do know Kramer."
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"- Yes. - Well, I'm mentioning his name."
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"Why?"
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"Because, you know..."
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"No, I don't know. Look, I'm gonna need a deposit on these."
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"Oh, come on. Cousin Jeffrey?"
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"- It's not possible. - Why not? They could've met."
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"She loves the park. He works for the Parks Department."
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"Jerry, that is so ridiculous."
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"George didn't even have his glasses on."
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"But he was squinting."
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"So what? Squinting doesn't make that much of a difference."
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"Are you kidding? I've seen him squint."
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"He can squint his way down to like 20-30 vision."
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"Once we drove down from the Catskills and he lost his glasses."
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"He squinted his way from Wurtsboro down to the Tappan Zee Bridge."
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"He was spotting raccoons on the road."
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"- Okay. - Okay?"
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"That's it? I don't need a shot?"
Seinfeld
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