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Clips from Cheers - Father Knows Last (S01E01)

"Yes, I'll tell him."
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"Sam, I just had a conversation with your date tonight."
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"Bambi."
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"She said she can't make it. She's had an accident."
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"You're kidding. What happened?"
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"She fell off her shoes."
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"Gee, that's tough."
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"That leaves me only two hours to find another date."
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"- Those are the breaks. - Not to worry."
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"The book!"
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"Cliff, I swear, it just gave off a beam of light."
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"- A little black book? - Yeah."
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"Didn't those go out with getting a girl drunk and seducing her?"
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"That's out now?"
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"Let me see."
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"Christie Leveroni."
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"Christie Leveroni, come on down!"
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"Come on, Sam, let me dial this one."
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"It's been a long time since I've run my fingers over a girl's digits."
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"Norman."
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"You know, I haven't seen Christie since Woodstock."
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"- You were at Woodstock? - A friend told me to go there."
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"Said it was a great place to pick up chicks."
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"I should have known you weren't there for the music."
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"There was music at Woodstock?"
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"Sammy, it's ringing."
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"Hello. Is Christie there?"
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"She entered a convent?"
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"Boys, it looks like your idol has fallen."
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"So what's the number over there?"
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"- Hi, Coach. - Hi, Diane."
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"Hey, Coach."
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"Sam. Look at me."
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"- Do I look OK to you? - Yeah, why?"
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"I just went to renew my driver's licence."
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"They asked me to donate my kidneys."
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"No, don't take that personal, Coach. They ask everybody."
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"Those highway robbers. It used to be a lousy two bucks."
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"- Carla's late again. - Yeah, I know. I wonder why."
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"Sam, you know why."
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"Why aren't any of us saying anything about Carla's problem?"
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"I don't think we should be the ones to bring this up."
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"You know Carla, she's proud."
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"Maybe she just wants to keep this one under her hat, that's all."
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"Maybe it's not even what we think it is."
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"- Coach, what else could it be? - Gas?"
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"- Hi, everyone. - Hi, Carla."
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"- I got to go change. - OK."
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"What are we all so afraid of?"
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"We've known for well over a month that Carla's..."
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"Let me be the first to say it aloud. Carla is pregnant."
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"That's it, Sam, it's out."
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"Sam, she is all alone in the world. She needs some support."
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"She's probably waiting for us to reach out."
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"- You people call yourselves friends. - Why don't you talk to her?"
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"Well, I would, but Carla's never actually called me a friend,"
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"unless "doofus" is a term of endearment."
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"No, don't look at me. Vera and I don't have any kids."
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"I don't know anything about the subject."
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"How come you and Vera never had any kids?"
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"- I can't, Coach. - Gee, I'm sorry, Norm."
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"I look at Vera... I just can't."
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"- So how's it going, guys? - Hi, Carla."
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"This is..."
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"Look, Carla, we just want you to know that..."
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"Well, if there's anything you ever need, just ask us, OK?"
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"Well, since you brought it up, Sam."
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"Yeah, what?"
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"I'm going to need a couple of hours off at the end of April."
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"If you don't want to talk about it..."
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"No, it's OK. I told the father about it yesterday."
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"He's been out of town. I just wanted to tell him first."
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"Tell the rest of them. I mean, they're dying to hear."
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"- I'll go talk to them. - Alright."
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"What was I saying? The weather is really..."
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"It's always just... sort of beautiful."
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"Everyone?"
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"- I'm pregnant. - What?"
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"No! You're pregnant? Carla. Well, why didn't you say anything?"
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"I've got a lot on my mind. I can't remember everything."
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"Sure. Busy girl."
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"Congratulations. Unless you don't want another kid."
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"- Of course she wanted the kid. - Sure I do."
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"What penniless, unmarried mother of four wouldn't?"
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"See what I mean?"
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"Don't worry about that. I'll give you a little bump-up in pay."
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"- Thanks, Sam. - That's great."
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"Carla gets a raise for getting pregnant."
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"I wonder what I have to do to get a raise out of the boss."
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"You could get a raise out of the boss."
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"So who's the father? We want to know."
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"You're about to see for yourselves. He's coming in."
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"I really got lucky this time, boy."
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"He's a nice, responsible guy, and he is going to support this kid."
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"That's great. You going to get married?"
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"Well, you know, actually we probably would, Sam,"
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"except it goes against my most cherished belief."
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"Men are toe jam."
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"Who is this guy?"
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"Marshall."
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"- Marshall? - Carla made love to a PhD from MlT?"
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"Look, guys, if you can't say it in front of me, don't say it at all."
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"No, Coach."
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"Coach, Marshall is the father of Carla's child."
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"Marshall? I don't believe it, and I believe everything."
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"- How are you feeling, little mommy? - I'll make a deal with you."
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"You don't call me "little mommy","
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"and I don't put your tongue in the blender."
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"- Come down and sit down here. - Come on, Marshall."
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"- Way to go. - I'm so happy for you both."
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"- Congratulations, Marshall. - Congratulations, Dad."
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"Why don't you have a seat, little... Carla?"
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"Thank you."
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"We have something to celebrate. A little champagne."
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"- A toast! - Serve it up, boys."
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"I'll get the glasses."
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"By the way, I recommend the Lamaze method."
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"I've read about that and it sounds wonderful."
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"No, forget it. I got my own method."
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"Knock me out and wake me when it's potty-trained."
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