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Clips from Workaholics (2011) - Fat Cuz (S03E03)

"These boys just offered you a job,"
Workaholics (2011)
"and you are taking it."
Workaholics (2011)
"Mom, I'm not taking some stupid job!"
Workaholics (2011)
"Can we not do this again?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Your disability is about to run out,"
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"and I am not footing the bill"
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"while you masturbate your life away!"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Mama! - Dude, it's cool."
Workaholics (2011)
"You can just come and try it out... I work there."
Workaholics (2011)
"- No! - Devin Demamp!"
Workaholics (2011)
"I will call animal services to come for your cats."
Workaholics (2011)
"Someone get me a bucket and soap."
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"Big fat's about to get a job."
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"- Here we are. - Yeah."
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"- Oh, yeah. - Like a glove."
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"Livin' that handicap life!"
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"- This... is parking. - There we go."
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"- Yeah, mama! - There you go, big buddy."
Workaholics (2011)
"I don't want to sound arrogant,"
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"but I feel like I was always meant to park"
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"in handicap spots."
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"You're basically a handicapped dude, my brother."
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"- Don't I know it. - Now, this is parking!"
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"I just said that. This is parking."
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"There's no other way to say it, though."
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"- This is parking. - Hey, guys!"
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"I'm stuck!"
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"Yo! Seriously, I'm stuck."
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"Yeah, I forgot how fat you were, bud."
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"Can't get out of the car."
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"So welcome to the dragon's lair."
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"That's what I call the break room."
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"- It's pretty sick. - Yeah."
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"We're gonna go talk to Alice,"
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"get you a job!"
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"Whoa, whoa."
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"Pump the brakes, fellas."
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"You guys already have the parking spot,"
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"you're good to go."
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"And as long as my mom thinks I have a job here,"
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"I'm good to go."
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"But there ain't a chance in hell"
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"that I'm clocking in to this fart factory."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Not happening. - All right."
Workaholics (2011)
"All right, well, hey, here is the TV."
Workaholics (2011)
"So enjoy The View. The show. The show The View."
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"All right, guys, let's go. We got work to do."
Workaholics (2011)
"Uh, we make the world turn, unlike you."
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"That and my stomach."
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"Stay fat, bro."
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"Ow!"
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"- All right. Love you, bro. - Love you too, dude."
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"Don't mind if I squeeze... Yes."
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"How you doing?"
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"Some butt you got there. Yeah."
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"Do you wipe it?"
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"I'm kidding."
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"But seriously, can I?"
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"I don't appreciate you talking to me like that."
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"Okay. I'm being selfish."
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"How 'bout I start over?"
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"Do you, uh, wanna suck my tits?"
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"Come here."
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"This is called a floor fan."
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"It goes on a floor, and..."
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"What? My yogurt?"
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"In the break room? Oh, my go..."
Workaholics (2011)
"I gotta call you back. About to catch me a case."
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"Yo, let's go!"
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"You don't eat a man's yogurt. That's all I can eat."
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"You know what I'm saying? I'm on a diet."
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"This is unbelievable."
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"- Someone eatin' my yogurt. - Fight?"
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"I will kill a man right now."
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"Who's fighting? Is someone fighting?"
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"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"
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"You can't be snackin' on my snacks like that!"
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"Gimme the news, not the dick breath, ya butt slug!"
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"- I'll eat what I want! - You got no respect"
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"for another man's live cultures."
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"We about to get it on!"
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"Okay, let's go!"
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"Get off my cousin!"
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"- Get off me! Get off me! - Watch it, dude."
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"Okay, what the hell is going on in here?"
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"Listen, lady, why don't you just..."
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"Why don't I apologize to everyone in this room"
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"for what I just did... Totally uncalled for."
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"I'm sorry, everyone."
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"Sure. Great. What are you?"
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"He's my cousin!"
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"Of course he is."
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"And since we're hiring, I figured he'd be"
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"a great member of the sales team, right?"
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"- Plus, he's a local hero. - Yeah. He sure is."
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"Jumped in front of a fire truck, saved a little girl's life."
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"Miss, I promise you I will give you my best,"
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"and I will deliver."
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"All right, whatever, but you three"
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"are responsible for training him."
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"And if he doesn't deliver, it's on you."
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"What are you looking at? Come on, let's go!"
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"- He ate my yogurt. - Team Demamp!"
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"Yes. Aw, dude, we just got you a job. Team Demamp."
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"- Oh, hi. - Cat lover?"
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"Oh, yes. Uh, it's actually the anniversary"
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"of my cat Brent Hoffman's death."
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"I miss my dead, dead cat."
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"- I am so sorry to hear that. - Thank you."
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"Now I'm the proud owner of seven,"
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"which some people think is weird."
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"You know, I think it's weird if you don't have more."
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"Well, I did until this one died."
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"You know, I have a dozen cats myself."
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"You should come over and breed."
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"With my cats."
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"- Oh. - Cats."
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"You should breed with my cats."
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"Well, yeah, that would be nice."
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"- Yeah. Okay. - But I should..."
Workaholics (2011)
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