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Clips from The Monkees - Monkees à la Mode (S01E01)

"with a subject for our annual Young America issue? Rob Roy?"
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"Madame Quagmeyer, I've photographed a dozen possibilities."
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"Davies Van Patten, the polo champion. Vernon Equinox, the socialite."
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"Stale, stale, stale! What we need is something fresh and new."
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"Madame Q, I met a group of boys last week that were all that and more."
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"Ah. Possible. Possible."
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"Long-haired weirdos."
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"Hideous. But what difference does it make?"
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"We'll make them over into our own image."
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"Huh."
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"Hm?"
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"I guess it came by special messenger or something."
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"Found it laying on the doorstep."
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"Hey, we don't subscribe to Chic magazine, do we?"
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"I'm hip. It's a fashion magazine."
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"Says here, "Necklines are plunging lower every year."
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"This year, the V will go down to the tummy in something of a peekaboo effect."
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"Get into the swing of fashions and have your own naval observatory.""
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"You must be joking."
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"You're right. I am; it doesn't say that at all."
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"Here, give me that. Hey, hey, listen to this."
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""Why not take little metal bottle tops and nail them to your living room floor?"
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"It gives you the impression that you are walking"
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"upon little metal bottle tops.""
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"Hey, look. There's a letter in here."
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"What's it say?"
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"It's from, it's from a Madame Quagmeyer."
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"She probably signs her name in brown ink too."
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"How did you know?"
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"Hey, this is, this is for real."
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"It says we've been chosen as the typical young Americans of the year."
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"Hey, hey, we're the Monkees And people say we monkey around"
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"But we're too busy singing..."
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"I don't like that typical young person stuff."
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"Hey, this magazine isn't so bad, guys."
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"I mean, it's got a lot of silly articles, I know,"
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"about like clothes and, and hair and stuff like that,"
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"but it's also got a serial every month. This month, it's cornflakes."
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"Here we come Walkin' down the street"
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"We get the funniest looks from Ev'ry one we meet"
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"Hey, hey, we're the Monkees And people say we monkey around"
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"But we're too busy singing To put anybody down"
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"We're just tryin' to be friendly Come and watch us sing and play"
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"We're the young generation And we've got something to say"
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"Hey, hey, we're the Monkees You never know where we'll be found"
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"So you better get ready,"
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"We may be comin' to your town"
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"The Monkees brought to you by Kellogg's"
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"K-E double L, O double good,"
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"Kellogg's best to you"
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"This letter says that the writer and photographer should be here any minute."
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"Hark! I hear a knock upon yon door."
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"Ooh!"
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"Oh, hello. Uh, why don't you, uh, come in?"
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"Hi. I-I'm, uh, Micky Do-aye."
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"They won't do."
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"Wait-wait-wait. Wait a minute, what do? Do what?"
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"Do. Do."
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"I beg to differ with you."
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"Madame Quagmeyer wrote us a letter and said we would do."
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"I'm not sure what kind of do, but we'll do something."
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"I'm Rob Roy Fingerhead, the chief staff photographer."
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"This is Toby Willis; she'll write the story."
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"You see, what we wanna do is show what you are and the way you live."
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"What, huh huh, you wanna get us arrested? Don't do that."
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"Now, as you know, Chic is the magazine of style."
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"Now then, where's your style?"
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"Hm? Oh, well, we usually keep it in the bathtub."
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"We, we have this picture."
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"I just walked into a house filled with cheap,"
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"ugly claptrap, and he's showing me a picture of a cow."
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"Well, it's a nice cow, it-"
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"You like living here?"
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"Very much."
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"Then why you looking so pained?"
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"'Cause you're standing on my hand."
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"Oh."
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"I know it doesn't look like much, but the rent's very reasonable."
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"More than a dollar a month?"
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"Perhaps we should take a look outside?"
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"It's impossible. I can't photograph these boys;"
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"I can't shoot anything in this house."
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"Hey, just a minute."
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"Don't do that."
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"It just so happens that some of the things"
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"in this house have great historical significance."
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"For instance. See this? This hatchet here?"
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"Now, this was owned by a very, very important person."
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"George, who chopped up my new table?"
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"Search me."
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"Would you believe that this lantern-"
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"The British are coming! The B-the British are coming!"
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"Oh, sorry. The British are coming! Oh, three thou..."
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"lanterns for the... sea by tonight, two by the sea..."
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"the British are com... the British are..."
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"the British are coming... over to my house for a party tonight. A ha ha ha."
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"Very well. What Madame Q wants, and she'll get it."
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"Look, you don't have to, well, you see-"
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"Wait a minute. Hey, Rob, hey. Hey, look, uh,"
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"Miss Willis, I don't, I don't think we'll"
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"be any good for your magazine article."
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"Why not?"
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"Because we're not, uh, typical young people."
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"Well, we are typical young people, but, uh, well,"
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"well, young people just aren't typical anything."
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"Look, fellas, you don't understand the magazine business."
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"Rob Roy isn't such a creep, and think"
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"of what that creep could do for your careers."
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"Now, Madame Q expects you at, at her office tomorrow at nine."
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"Fellas, please? Trust me?"
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"We'll be there."
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"Okay."
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"We'll be there."
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"Boy."
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"What have we got to lose, fellas?"
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"Our shirts!"
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"No! That is the worst looking dummy I have ever seen."
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"Madame Quagmeyer?"
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"I retract that statement."
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"You may not remember about us."
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