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Clips from Workaholics (2011) - Peyote It Forward (S05E05)

"ADAM: Oh, milk it, Dersy. BLAKE: There you go."
Workaholics (2011)
"- (COUGHING) - Man, it is hella cool"
Workaholics (2011)
"when, like, the moon is out during the day."
Workaholics (2011)
"ADAM: Like, how does that even work? BLAKE AND ANDERS: I don't know."
Workaholics (2011)
"When you think about it, the stars are still there,"
Workaholics (2011)
"and, like, they just keep going, you know?"
Workaholics (2011)
"They go on for, like, forever, like... Forever ever."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Forever ever? - Yeah."
Workaholics (2011)
"I mean, it's like Joe Rogan says, "We're just talking monkeys"
Workaholics (2011)
""on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.""
Workaholics (2011)
"And also, his thoughts on, like,"
Workaholics (2011)
"if a girl won't suck upon your balls,"
Workaholics (2011)
"- you guys aren't meant to be together. - Smart."
Workaholics (2011)
"It's funny, 'cause it's true."
Workaholics (2011)
"Well, you heard how he said, like,"
Workaholics (2011)
""Imagination is the force behind our evolution.""
Workaholics (2011)
"And I think he's... He's right."
Workaholics (2011)
"When I was a kid, my imagination was ridiculousness."
Workaholics (2011)
"Like, I was always coming up with stuff."
Workaholics (2011)
"Think of all the different paths you could have taken in your life."
Workaholics (2011)
"I could have tooken so many paths."
Workaholics (2011)
"I could have been, like, a trombone player,"
Workaholics (2011)
"in, like, "Nah Orleans," just blowing my bone!"
Workaholics (2011)
"Or I could have been, like, a cop, but, like, a dirty one, you know?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Sounds like a normal cop. - Or like a porno star, right?"
Workaholics (2011)
"But not just like a regular porno dude."
Workaholics (2011)
"Like a star, dude. Like, "Oh, here comes Adam with his big hog"
Workaholics (2011)
"- "all greased up." - (LAUGHING)"
Workaholics (2011)
"That I feel is a real calling that I missed."
Workaholics (2011)
"I'd watch you bone."
Workaholics (2011)
"- I definitely would. - Thank you. Thank you."
Workaholics (2011)
"But you know what, you don't even have to sweat that, man,"
Workaholics (2011)
"because, really, when you think about it,"
Workaholics (2011)
"life doesn't even really get good until you're, like, 70."
Workaholics (2011)
"- You know? - Yeah."
Workaholics (2011)
"Like being an old dude is awesome,"
Workaholics (2011)
"like, just not having to do anything but, like, sit around, watch cartoons,"
Workaholics (2011)
"and smoke the herb, bro. That's gonna be tight."
Workaholics (2011)
"(COUGHING) Isn't that what you do already?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Yeah. Yeah."
Workaholics (2011)
"Yeah, but when you're 70, your dick won't work."
Workaholics (2011)
"- You can't star in pornos. - Dude, they got medicine for that."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Yeah. Dicks work forever now. - Oh! Oh, oh, oh! Big Dipper!"
Workaholics (2011)
"This is my year! 2015, baby!"
Workaholics (2011)
"2015! Whoo!"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Oh, it's just that guy... - Yeah, it's the guy across the street."
Workaholics (2011)
"You don't even need the telescope for that."
Workaholics (2011)
"Whoo! Starting defense!"
Workaholics (2011)
"Place at the table, baby! Whoo!"
Workaholics (2011)
"(SINGING) I'm fresh"
Workaholics (2011)
"You gotta, you gotta You gotta, gotta"
Workaholics (2011)
"Gotta be fresh"
Workaholics (2011)
"- (CLATTERING) - Whoa, dude."
Workaholics (2011)
"(SNICKERING)"
Workaholics (2011)
"Okay."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Uh... - I didn't mean to do that."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Hey, thanks for the smoothies. - Yeah."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Honestly... - Smooth move, operator."
Workaholics (2011)
"...it's NBD because I do generous stuff like buy smoothies for my bros quite often."
Workaholics (2011)
"Yeah, no, you don't. Actually, I think you've stolen from us a couple times."
Workaholics (2011)
"Bunch of times."
Workaholics (2011)
"I would consider myself the Robin Hood of the crew. I'll say that."
Workaholics (2011)
"Plus..."
Workaholics (2011)
"In order to be happy, you have to make others happy,"
Workaholics (2011)
"and that's a Joe Rogan quote."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Mmm-hmm. - ANDERS: That reminds me"
Workaholics (2011)
"of one of my favorite Roganisms."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Um... - And I know what it is, and I'm gonna stop ya."
Workaholics (2011)
"It's, uh, "If a girl can lift weights with her pussy,"
Workaholics (2011)
"(LAUGHS) "she's gotta be an unstoppable freak." Am I right?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- That's a good one, but no. It's actually... - ADAM: Uh..."
Workaholics (2011)
""If you get cancer from a cell phone,"
Workaholics (2011)
""you're a pussy!""
Workaholics (2011)
"Also good. But, no, I was... It's that, "Robin Hood can suck it.""
Workaholics (2011)
"Which I thought was pretty funny,"
Workaholics (2011)
"and you were talking about it and... What's on your leg?"
Workaholics (2011)
"(CHUCKLING) Huh? Oh, my..."
Workaholics (2011)
"Hi."
Workaholics (2011)
"Hundreds, and in different colors and sizes."
Workaholics (2011)
"BLAKE: Hey, Alice, so..."
Workaholics (2011)
"We found this kid, and he didn't have, like, a leash,"
Workaholics (2011)
"and we don't know, like, the last time he's been let out to poop,"
Workaholics (2011)
"so we don't know where he came from."
Workaholics (2011)
"ADAM: I mean, we have a guess as to whose it is."
Workaholics (2011)
"I lost my virginity when I was 17 years old,"
Workaholics (2011)
"and I'm not proud of that. I should have been at least 14 or 15, but..."
Workaholics (2011)
"I mean, I think the math works out that this could be my child."
Workaholics (2011)
"- He's mine. - Oh."
Workaholics (2011)
"You leave this kid alone for five goddamn seconds,"
Workaholics (2011)
"he gets into all kinds of trouble."
Workaholics (2011)
"- (ALL CHUCKLING) - Yeah. God damn it."
Workaholics (2011)
"Uh, guys, this is Mr. Gainey."
Workaholics (2011)
"He's from Stock Surplus."
Workaholics (2011)
"He's here to buy up all those old mirrors that you couldn't sell."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Remember those? - It's tough to sell mirrors over the phone."
Workaholics (2011)
"Well, this is his son Josh, who Jillian is supposed to be watching."
Workaholics (2011)
"- Jillian! - What's up? I'm just hanging outwith Josh."
Workaholics (2011)
"Hey, Josh! Why'd you disappear, huh?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Don't you want to play with the worms?"
Workaholics (2011)
"Huh? Come on, the worms are our friends."
Workaholics (2011)
"This is Carla, and that's her ex-husband, Roddy..."
Workaholics (2011)
"I don't want to play with her. She sucks!"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Hey! Hey! Watch your mouth! - (GIGGLING)"
Workaholics (2011)
"Okay? We don't use the "S" word."
Workaholics (2011)
"Jeff lets me say it at Mom's house."
Workaholics (2011)
"DAVE: Jeff is an idiot tennis instructor."
Workaholics (2011)
"And does this look like your mom's house?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- I wanna play with them! - ANDERS: Ow!"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Oh, yeah. - DAVE: Do you mind?"
Workaholics (2011)
"He's just gonna whine and whine until he gets his way."
Workaholics (2011)
"Kinda like his mother in that way."
Workaholics (2011)
"Yeah, look, um, I just think it's probably a better idea if he stays with Jillian."
Workaholics (2011)
"Yes."
Workaholics (2011)
"No. Alice, it's mine. I get to keep it."
Workaholics (2011)
"What? Why? Why can't we watch him?"
Workaholics (2011)
"- Because... - Well, because we're dumb."
Workaholics (2011)
"And we're irresponsible and we're idiots and we're stupid."
Workaholics (2011)
"Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly right, Adam. Thanks."
Workaholics (2011)
"Hang on a second. Uh... I'm sorry."
Workaholics (2011)
"I think we can handle one little dude."
Workaholics (2011)
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