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Clips from Paper Girls - Weird Al Is Dead (S01E01)

"How 'bout them apples."
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"Maybe future Coyles"
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"aren't dog shit after all."
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"I'm gonna go stay with him for a while."
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"Then we'll come with you."
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"Yeah, you're not invited, dickheads."
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"- Come on. - Mac, it's safer"
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"- if we stick together. - Why?"
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"Future you doesn't even remember any of us."
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"So you know what that means?"
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"It means that we don't give a shit about each other anyway."
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"Just let her go if she thinks she's so tough."
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"Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm."
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"'Cause you're the stone-cold psycho"
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"who killed a guy with your hockey stick."
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"- Yeah, so hit me. You gonna hit me? - [Erin] Guys, stop it."
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"- Huh? Yeah, go ahead. - Fuck you."
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"Yeah."
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"That's what I thought."
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"Anyway, it's been real."
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"See you in the future, I guess."
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"Or never."
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"Which is also fine."
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"♪ ♪"
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"[TV narrator] The cheetah utilizes"
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"- short bursts of speed... - Skylar called."
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"She wanted to know where we stood on hosting"
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"the Homeowner's Dinner this year."
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"- Ozzie? - Huh?"
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"Do you want to host the Homeowner's Dinner again?"
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"Ah, do we need to?"
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"It's 50 people traipsing through the house,"
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"and then we always end up"
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"with two weeks' worth of leftover bruschetta. It's..."
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"- [doorbell rings] - [sighs]"
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"- All right. You expecting somebody? - No."
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"It's not the end of the world, darling."
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"[Nora sighs]"
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"[TV narrator] The cheetah's night vision is poor,"
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"compared to others in the big cat kingdom."
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"- Hi, there. - [Ozzie] Hi."
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"Wow."
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"I'm Karen."
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"- Ozzie. - What a beautiful home."
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"We just moved in off Sycamore Road."
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"Oh, the older development."
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"Is this yours?"
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"My daughter was playing in the woods out back and found it."
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"I saw the name and asked around."
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"- You-you found this out in the woods over there? - [Prioress] Mm-hmm."
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"- That's impossible. - So you do recognize it."
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"[Nora] What... What are you... Ozzie?"
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"- [Ozzie] Hold on. Take it easy, now. - [Nora] What are..."
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"- [zapping] - [thudding]"
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"[clattering]"
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"♪ ♪"
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"[♪ Emma Sameth & BearFar: "Down Like This"]"
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"♪ Why you always want to get down like this? ♪"
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"♪ ♪"
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"♪ Why you always want to get down like this? ♪"
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"♪ Can't afford a flight ♪"
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"♪ So you hide in mine ♪"
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"♪ See me mile high ♪"
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"♪ Push you out like bye, bye, bye, bye ♪"
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"♪ Jumping through the fire, watch me multiply ♪"
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"♪ I'm like gasoline, make the water cry ♪"
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"♪ Keep saying goodbye, always go with pride ♪"
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"♪ Ride until I die, so I'm asking why ♪"
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"♪ Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why ♪"
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"♪ Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why ♪"
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"♪ Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why ♪"
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"♪ Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why ♪"
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"♪ ♪"
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"♪ Why you always want to get down like this? ♪"
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"♪ All the cream in the cups that you never gonna sip ♪"
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"♪ All the green in the rocks that you're never gonna hit ♪"
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"♪ See ya, see ya, see ya, want a crowd like this ♪"
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"♪ Why you always trying to get down like this? ♪"
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"♪ Why you always want to get down like this? ♪"
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"♪ Why you always trying to get down like this? ♪"
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"♪ Why you always want to get down like this? ♪"
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"♪ Why you always trying to get, why you always trying to get ♪"
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"♪ Why you always want to get down like this? ♪"
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"♪ ♪"
Paper Girls
"♪ Why you always want to get down like this? ♪"
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"♪ Why you always want to get down like this? ♪"
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"♪ Why you always want to get down like this? ♪"
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"♪ Why you always want to get down like this? ♪"
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"[footsteps approaching]"
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"[panting]"
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"Okay. Okay, okay, okay."
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"Fuck!"
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"[exhales]"
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"There's no way that was me."
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"How the fuck did she get in the house?"
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"Okay, okay. Come on!"
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"I know what to do. I know what to do."
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"And then, and then, you're gonna tell them what?"
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"Erin, what are you gonna tell them?"
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"That the... the 12-year-old version of yourself broke"
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"into your house with her punk friends you never had?"
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"You know, maybe time travel's just a normal thing in 2019?"
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"Oh, yeah. That makes sense."
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"'Cause back home, we were meeting friendly future robots"
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"and Civil War soldiers all the time."
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"- This is fucking insane. - I know."
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"[Erin] That was future me."
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"That-That's who I become."
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"And I just... I just ran away like a child."
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"[inhales deeply] Okay."
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"This isn't real."
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"Oh. This is a psychotic break."
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"There has to be some explanation."
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"Um, I-I-I don't still live in the same house."
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"I'm supposed to be... [breathing loudly]"
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"Is my husband coming home soon?"
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"Are my kids asleep upstairs?"
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"Maybe we're dead."
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"What? Time travel is so much more likely than we're dead?"
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"If we're dead, then we're in hell."
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