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Clips from Cheers - King of the Hill (S03E03)

CHEERS IS FILMED BEFORE A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

"CHEERS IS FILMED BEFORE A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE."

Cheers

COME ON, COACH! IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS?

"COME ON, COACH! IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS?"

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WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?

"WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?"

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I THINK IT'S SOMETHING TOTALLY USELESS

"I THINK IT'S SOMETHING TOTALLY USELESS"

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THAT SOME SALESMAN TALKED YOU INTO BUYING.

"THAT SOME SALESMAN TALKED YOU INTO BUYING."

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BOY, YOU'RE GOOD AT THINKING, SAM.

"BOY, YOU'RE GOOD AT THINKING, SAM."

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OH!

"OH!"

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THE BILLIARD BUDDY POOL TABLE ADAPTER.

"THE BILLIARD BUDDY POOL TABLE ADAPTER."

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YEAH, BUT IT'S NOT USELESS, SAM.

"YEAH, BUT IT'S NOT USELESS, SAM."

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YOU CAN MAKE IT INTO A PING-PONG TABLE,

"YOU CAN MAKE IT INTO A PING-PONG TABLE,"

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A KNOCK-HOCKEY TABLE, A SALAD BAR.

"A KNOCK-HOCKEY TABLE, A SALAD BAR."

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HOW MUCH?

"HOW MUCH?"

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OH, I DON'T KNOW; A BUCK?

"OH, I DON'T KNOW; A BUCK?"

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A BUCK AND A HALF WITH CROUTONS.

"A BUCK AND A HALF WITH CROUTONS."

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NO, COACH.

"NO, COACH."

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I MEAN, HOW MUCH FOR THE WHOLE THING?

"I MEAN, HOW MUCH FOR THE WHOLE THING?"

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OH. 600 BUCKS, SAM,

"OH. 600 BUCKS, SAM,"

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BUT THE SALESMAN SAID SATISFACTION GUARANTEED.

"BUT THE SALESMAN SAID SATISFACTION GUARANTEED."

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OR...

"OR..."

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NOW, THAT WOULD'VE BEEN A GOOD QUESTION.

"NOW, THAT WOULD'VE BEEN A GOOD QUESTION."

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$600?

"$600?"

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YEAH. HARD TO BELIEVE, ISN'T IT?

"YEAH. HARD TO BELIEVE, ISN'T IT?"

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* MAKING YOUR WAY IN THE WORLD TODAY *

"* MAKING YOUR WAY IN THE WORLD TODAY *"

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* TAKES EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT *

"* TAKES EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT *"

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* TAKING A BREAK FROM ALL YOUR WORRIES *

"* TAKING A BREAK FROM ALL YOUR WORRIES *"

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* SURE WOULD HELP A LOT *

"* SURE WOULD HELP A LOT *"

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* WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO GET AWAY? *

"* WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO GET AWAY? *"

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* SOMETIMES YOU WANNA GO *

"* SOMETIMES YOU WANNA GO *"

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* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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* AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GLAD YOU CAME *

"* AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GLAD YOU CAME *"

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* YOU WANNA BE WHERE YOU CAN SEE *

"* YOU WANNA BE WHERE YOU CAN SEE *"

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* OUR TROUBLES ARE ALL THE SAME *

"* OUR TROUBLES ARE ALL THE SAME *"

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* YOU WANNA BE WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* YOU WANNA BE WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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* YOU WANNA GO WHERE PEOPLE KNOW *

"* YOU WANNA GO WHERE PEOPLE KNOW *"

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* PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME *

"* PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME *"

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* YOU WANNA GO WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *

"* YOU WANNA GO WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME *"

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GOOD AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY.

"GOOD AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY."

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NORM! NORM! NORMAN.

"NORM! NORM! NORMAN."

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WHAT'LL IT BE, NORMIE?

"WHAT'LL IT BE, NORMIE?"

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JUST THE USUAL, COACH.

"JUST THE USUAL, COACH."

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I'LL HAVE A TROUGH OF BEER AND A SNORKEL.

"I'LL HAVE A TROUGH OF BEER AND A SNORKEL."

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CLIFFIE, MAYBE YOU COULD HELP ME OUT.

"CLIFFIE, MAYBE YOU COULD HELP ME OUT."

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MY MOTHER-IN-LAW'S IN TOWN.

"MY MOTHER-IN-LAW'S IN TOWN."

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AH, SORRY.

"AH, SORRY."

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AS IF THAT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH,

"AS IF THAT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH,"

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SHE SAYS SHE WANTS TO GO SIGHTSEEING.

"SHE SAYS SHE WANTS TO GO SIGHTSEEING."

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WELL, TELL HER TO GO TO FLORIDA.

"WELL, TELL HER TO GO TO FLORIDA."

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I TOLD HER TO GO A LOT FURTHER SOUTH THAN THAT, ACTUALLY,

"I TOLD HER TO GO A LOT FURTHER SOUTH THAN THAT, ACTUALLY,"

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BUT SHE'S INTERESTED IN AMERICAN HISTORY.

"BUT SHE'S INTERESTED IN AMERICAN HISTORY."

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NORMAN, TAKE YOUR MOTHER TO SEE BUNKER HILL.

"NORMAN, TAKE YOUR MOTHER TO SEE BUNKER HILL."

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WHERE?

"WHERE?"

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BUNKER HILL?

"BUNKER HILL?"

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THE SCENE OF WHAT MANY CONSIDER

"THE SCENE OF WHAT MANY CONSIDER"

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OF THE MOST IMPORTANT BATTLES IN AMERICAN HISTORY?

"OF THE MOST IMPORTANT BATTLES IN AMERICAN HISTORY?"

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WAIT, WAIT. YOU TALKING ABOUT

"WAIT, WAIT. YOU TALKING ABOUT"

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THAT PLACE THAT I GOT TO GO ALL THE WAY AROUND

"THAT PLACE THAT I GOT TO GO ALL THE WAY AROUND"

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TO GET TO THE MINUTEMAN PIZZA PARLOR?

"TO GET TO THE MINUTEMAN PIZZA PARLOR?"

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NO WAY.

"NO WAY."

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HEY, NORM, YOUR CAR'S UNLOCKED.

"HEY, NORM, YOUR CAR'S UNLOCKED."

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SOMEONE MIGHT STEAL YOUR LAUNDRY.

"SOMEONE MIGHT STEAL YOUR LAUNDRY."

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WHAT LAUNDRY?

"WHAT LAUNDRY?"

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THAT BIG, LUMPY BUNDLE ON THE FRONT SEAT OF YOUR CAR.

"THAT BIG, LUMPY BUNDLE ON THE FRONT SEAT OF YOUR CAR."

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OH. THAT'S MY MOTHER-IN-LAW.

"OH. THAT'S MY MOTHER-IN-LAW."

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SHE HAD KIND OF A ROUGH FLIGHT,

"SHE HAD KIND OF A ROUGH FLIGHT,"

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AND SHE NODDED OUT THE SECOND SHE HIT THE UPHOLSTERY.

"AND SHE NODDED OUT THE SECOND SHE HIT THE UPHOLSTERY."

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AND YOU LEFT HER OUT THERE IN AN UNATTENDED AUTOMOBILE?

"AND YOU LEFT HER OUT THERE IN AN UNATTENDED AUTOMOBILE?"

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I THREW A BLANKET OVER HER,

"I THREW A BLANKET OVER HER,"

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AND I LEFT HER A NOTE, IN CASE SHE COMES TO.

"AND I LEFT HER A NOTE, IN CASE SHE COMES TO."

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SHE'S LUCKY TO HAVE YOU AS A SON-IN-LAW, NORMAN.

"SHE'S LUCKY TO HAVE YOU AS A SON-IN-LAW, NORMAN."

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I'M REALLY GIVING HER THE RED CARPET TREATMENT.

"I'M REALLY GIVING HER THE RED CARPET TREATMENT."

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HEY, YO, PAL. WOULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR

"HEY, YO, PAL. WOULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR"

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AND TOSS THESE IN THE BLUE CIVIC OUT IN FRONT?

"AND TOSS THESE IN THE BLUE CIVIC OUT IN FRONT?"

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HI. IS SAM MALONE HERE?

"HI. IS SAM MALONE HERE?"

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NO, HE ISN'T. WHAT CAN I BUY FROM YOU?

"NO, HE ISN'T. WHAT CAN I BUY FROM YOU?"

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WHAT AM I SAYING?

"WHAT AM I SAYING?"

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WHAT CAN I GET YOU?

"WHAT CAN I GET YOU?"

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OH, I'LL HAVE A BEER.

"OH, I'LL HAVE A BEER."

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MY NAME IS LENNY BARNES. HI, LENNY.

"MY NAME IS LENNY BARNES. HI, LENNY."

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I'M THE PUBLICIST FOR THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE

"I'M THE PUBLICIST FOR THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE"

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CHARITY SOFTBALL GAME THIS SATURDAY.

"CHARITY SOFTBALL GAME THIS SATURDAY."

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I'M LOOKING FOR SAM MALONE.

"I'M LOOKING FOR SAM MALONE."

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I CAN TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, SAM WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED

"I CAN TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, SAM WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED"

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IN THAT KIND OF THING.

"IN THAT KIND OF THING."

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I MEAN, NOBODY WITH ANY DIGNITY

"I MEAN, NOBODY WITH ANY DIGNITY"

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WANTS TO GET INTO THOSE SIDESHOW CARNIVAL THINGS

"WANTS TO GET INTO THOSE SIDESHOW CARNIVAL THINGS"

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WHERE EVERYBODY'S MADE TO LOOK STUPID--NOBODY.

"WHERE EVERYBODY'S MADE TO LOOK STUPID--NOBODY."

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HEY, AREN'T YOU ERNIE PANTUSO?

"HEY, AREN'T YOU ERNIE PANTUSO?"

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I'D BE HONORED TO DO IT.

"I'D BE HONORED TO DO IT."

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WELL, I DON'T THINK WE NEED ANYBODY ELSE.

"WELL, I DON'T THINK WE NEED ANYBODY ELSE."

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OH, WELL.

"OH, WELL."

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HUH...

"HUH..."

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I FIND IT HARD TO GET UP TO FENWAY THESE DAYS.

"I FIND IT HARD TO GET UP TO FENWAY THESE DAYS."

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THE OLD MEMORIES COME BACK, HUH?

"THE OLD MEMORIES COME BACK, HUH?"

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NO. I KEEP GETTING THE WRONG BUS.

"NO. I KEEP GETTING THE WRONG BUS."

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I MUST HAVE AN OLD SCHEDULE.

"I MUST HAVE AN OLD SCHEDULE."

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I GUESS THOSE STORIES ABOUT YOU ARE TRUE.

"I GUESS THOSE STORIES ABOUT YOU ARE TRUE."

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THAT THEY ARE, LENNY. THAT THEY ARE.

"THAT THEY ARE, LENNY. THAT THEY ARE."

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MR. BARNES, COACH IS RIGHT.

"MR. BARNES, COACH IS RIGHT."

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SAM NEVER PLAYS IN OLD-TIMER TYPE GAMES.

"SAM NEVER PLAYS IN OLD-TIMER TYPE GAMES."

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WELL, ACTUALLY, SAM'S ALREADY AGREED TO PLAY.

"WELL, ACTUALLY, SAM'S ALREADY AGREED TO PLAY."

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WHAT?

"WHAT?"

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I'M JUST HERE FOR SOME PUBLICITY SHOTS.

"I'M JUST HERE FOR SOME PUBLICITY SHOTS."

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LENNY, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR BEER

"LENNY, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR BEER"

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AND HAVE A SEAT AND WAIT FOR SAM.

"AND HAVE A SEAT AND WAIT FOR SAM."

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OK. THANK YOU. OH, I HAVE TO MAKE A CALL.

"OK. THANK YOU. OH, I HAVE TO MAKE A CALL."

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USE THE TELEPHONE.

"USE THE TELEPHONE."

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I'M SO SURPRISED AT SAM, DIANE.

"I'M SO SURPRISED AT SAM, DIANE."

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I MEAN, HE ALWAYS SAID TO ME

"I MEAN, HE ALWAYS SAID TO ME"

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HE'D NEVER GET INVOLVED IN ONE OF THESE THINGS.

"HE'D NEVER GET INVOLVED IN ONE OF THESE THINGS."

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MAYBE SAM MISSES BEING OUT THERE ON THE BASEBALL FIELD,

"MAYBE SAM MISSES BEING OUT THERE ON THE BASEBALL FIELD,"

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STANDING ON THE BUMP.

"STANDING ON THE BUMP."

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I THINK YOU GOT A POINT THERE, DIANE.

"I THINK YOU GOT A POINT THERE, DIANE."

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I MISS SEEING HIM OUT THERE ON THE BUMP, TOO.

"I MISS SEEING HIM OUT THERE ON THE BUMP, TOO."

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INCIDENTALLY, IT'S CALLED THE MOUND.

"INCIDENTALLY, IT'S CALLED THE MOUND."

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AH. MM-HMM.

"AH. MM-HMM."

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UNLESS WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE SAME THING.

"UNLESS WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE SAME THING."

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NO, NO.

"NO, NO."

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THANK YOU, CARLA, FOR HELPING ME OUT THERE.

"THANK YOU, CARLA, FOR HELPING ME OUT THERE."

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YOU SURE YOU WANT TO QUIT, SAM?

"YOU SURE YOU WANT TO QUIT, SAM?"

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I'M WILLING TO CATCH A FEW MORE.

"I'M WILLING TO CATCH A FEW MORE."

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