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Clips from Lucifer - Et Tu, Doctor? (S01E01)

"Lucifer..."
Lucifer
"Ah! Speak of the me."
Lucifer
"Out here. Now."
Lucifer
"What did you do?"
Lucifer
"Not what, but who, if you must know."
Lucifer
"But I try not to kiss and tell."
Lucifer
"I told you I didn't want to go with Dr. Martin."
Lucifer
"We need someone impartial, which means"
Lucifer
"not trying to get in your pants. What...?"
Lucifer
"Are you even listening to me?"
Lucifer
"Not really. Look."
Lucifer
"A new doctor's moved in."
Lucifer
"Dr. Canaan."
Lucifer
"How Biblical."
Lucifer
"Sure, let's add another random doctor to the case."
Lucifer
"Great idea."
Lucifer
"Now, look, I assure you, Dr. Martin is excellent."
Lucifer
"She trained at Stanford, she lectures at USC,"
Lucifer
"she's got stacks of awards..."
Lucifer
"Since when are you her fanboy?"
Lucifer
"Since I became a client."
Lucifer
"You."
Lucifer
"You're really in therapy?"
Lucifer
"Why is that so surprising?"
Lucifer
"You're the least reflective person I know."
Lucifer
"I have layers."
Lucifer
"I'm like an onion."
Lucifer
"An irresistible one."
Lucifer
"Dr. Linda"
Lucifer
"said we recently made a breakthrough, in fact."
Lucifer
"Why do I think that's code for sex?"
Lucifer
"In that particular context, no."
Lucifer
"Do you still think you're the Devil?"
Lucifer
"I am the Devil."
Lucifer
"Then excuse me if I doubt her skills."
Lucifer
"Look, she's helped me, all right?"
Lucifer
"And I think she can be of help here."
Lucifer
"- Uh-huh, I'm sure. - Excuse me."
Lucifer
"- Everything okay? - Yes, Linda,"
Lucifer
"- everything's absolutely fine... - No offense, Dr. Martin..."
Lucifer
"I found something."
Lucifer
"- Hello. - What is it?"
Lucifer
"A patient named Richard Kester."
Lucifer
"His wife convinced him to try Dr. Shaw's therapy."
Lucifer
"Hmm, let me guess-- didn't end well?"
Lucifer
"She had an affair."
Lucifer
"They got divorced."
Lucifer
"And then Richard sent Dr. Shaw a death threat."
Lucifer
"It's been more than a year, but that kind of anger"
Lucifer
"can bubble up when you least expect it."
Lucifer
"Add him to the list of angry patients."
Lucifer
"That's just it."
Lucifer
"Richard's the only one so far."
Lucifer
"Dr. Shaw's patients seem remarkably happy with him."
Lucifer
"Oh, do they now?"
Lucifer
"See, cheater therapy works."
Lucifer
"Maybe you should've tried it with Detective Douche."
Lucifer
"Or was that what broke you apart?"
Lucifer
"What is wrong with you lately?"
Lucifer
"I'll look into him."
Lucifer
"Thank you."
Lucifer
"Yeah."
Lucifer
"Top work, Sherlock."
Lucifer
"(sighs)"
Lucifer
"So I don't understand"
Lucifer
"all this jealousy talk."
Lucifer
"I mean, why covet something someone else has?"
Lucifer
"Why not just take it?"
Lucifer
"(chuckles) 'Cause it's never that easy."
Lucifer
"Well, it is for me."
Lucifer
"Usually."
Lucifer
"I, uh, I may have overstepped"
Lucifer
"earlier in regards to Detective Douche."
Lucifer
"(laughs) Yeah."
Lucifer
"You definitely may have."
Lucifer
"So why did you two separate anyway?"
Lucifer
"(chuckles)"
Lucifer
"(sighs)"
Lucifer
"The job was more important to him than me and Trixie."
Lucifer
"But lately something's changed."
Lucifer
"He... he makes time for me."
Lucifer
"He makes time for us."
Lucifer
"He's really putting in an effort."
Lucifer
"Yes, if ever anyone deserved"
Lucifer
"a participation trophy, it's Dan."
Lucifer
"(phone ringing)"
Lucifer
"Decker."
Lucifer
"LINDA: Uh, hello, Detective."
Lucifer
"It's about Richard."
Lucifer
"I wanted to warn you."
Lucifer
"He may be unstable."
Lucifer
"Possibly dangerous."
Lucifer
"I'll handle it, but thanks."
Lucifer
"I don't mean to you."
Lucifer
"I mean to himself."
Lucifer
"(siren whoops)"
Lucifer
"(indistinct radio transmission)"
Lucifer
"Yeah, you may be right."
Lucifer
"Lucifer?"
Lucifer
"Oh, my God."
Lucifer
"There's another one."
Lucifer
"LUCIFER: Hey, Detective!"
Lucifer
"You need your roots done!"
Lucifer
"(crowd chattering)"
Lucifer
"MAN: What is he doing?"
Lucifer
"I've made up my mind."
Lucifer
"You can't stop me."
Lucifer
"What? Oh, no. I'm not here to stop you."
Lucifer
"If you want to jump, go for it."
Lucifer
"Is this some kind of reverse psychology?"
Lucifer
"No, quite serious."
Lucifer
"Go for it."
Lucifer
"Okay, here goes."
Lucifer
"I do have one question before you pop off."
Lucifer
"You see, I'm trying to understand jealousy."
Lucifer
"It's a new concept to me."
Lucifer
"And you, dear Ricky, are the perfect person to explain it."
Lucifer
"- What are you talking about--? - Manners, Ricky."
Lucifer
"Manners! (Richard screaming)"
Lucifer
"We're not done talking yet!"
Lucifer
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